Dewme332, Both your wives feel threatened by your cross-dressing because they had an expectation that you were a man were secure in your manhood when they married you. Almost every wife has an expectation that her husband will be a man, act like a man, and remain as a man. Cross-dressing violates this often unexpressed expectation.
Cross-dressing is a bandaid, a crutch that is used to fill a void in your life. I recommend that you find a counsellor, one who will not permit you to hide behind the crutch of cross-dressing but will instead delve into why you feel the need to cross-dress and what you can do to overcome its urges.
Until you successfully overcome this desire, just as others have overcome other addictions, I recommend you do not pursue a relationship. It will only end in heart ache and pain for both of you.
If either of your wives would like to speak to a wife who has experienced this pain and abuse, please let them contact me at www.exposethelie.org