yes i have... i found out about a year ago that my husband was cheating on me. and i wasn't even being suspicious because he showed no signs of cheating. i accidentally found a text message on his cell phone to another woman, talking about sex. later on i found out she's also married.
i was so shocked... but i thought if i confronted him by yelling at him, it would do me no good at all and he might not admit his actions. so i asked him politely when he was in a good mood and showed him the text message. he denied it at first but eventually admitted his error.
i asked him why he did it and, just like you said, he sort of blamed me because he thought i haven't given him the attention he needed. and i was surprised because all that time, whatever he wanted, i let him have. i trusted him to do the right thing with all the freedom i gave him. and he violated that trust.
but i learned to forgive him. as time passes by. i reminded him of the families torn apart because of infidelity. some of them were close friends of ours. and i asked him if that was what he wanted. i gave him a choice. i never thought about separating because there were no real hard problems in our relationship. we have a son, and i just asked him what kind of example did he want to give to our son.
our relationship is better now. he realized he made a mistake and understood that i have given my best from my part.
love means sometimes we may get hurt. it's normal in all relationships. it's up to you if you want to give him another chance. learn to forgive. but if he makes it a habit then maybe it's best to let him go. if you're not married, maybe it's easier.
but you need to know that we can't always come first. if you love him, have faith that he loves you too, but don't 'tie him up'. guys don't like that... they still need a little freedom now and then. that's what i learned too. but if after given the freedom, he still does the same thing over and over again, then it's over for him.
well i hope you can be able to heal from this experience. i wish you the best... :)