I totally understand where you're coming from, as I am a self-proclaimed loner as well. I've had many authentic things in my life, but never a relationship. The closest thing to an authentic relationship that I can recall having is an authentic rookie card of Ray "Mudbutt" McGillicutty. He played for the Toledo Mud Hens. The last I had heard, he moved to Guam and sold brine shrimp on the beach for a meager living.
I was never very shy as a kid, but I did become awkward and clumsy towards women as a teenager. I tried everything to fit in with my age group, including: Driving an Ice Cream truck, getting a swastika tattoo on my forehead, and Parcheesi.
I finally got my lucky break six months ago by joining an exclusive online club, "World of Warcraft." I'm not sure if you've ever heard about this club, but it is a very elite group that is represented all across the globe. Even Ozzy Osbourne is a member. I would seriously recommend that you look into joining this exclusive club. You can download a free demo at their website: www.WorldofWarcraft.us.battle.net. Everyone in this club does not care what you look like, only what type of skill sets you have. I think you would be a good fit since you and I seem to have alot in common already. We're both loners, shy, and have club feet.
P.S. My username on World of Warcraft is slapnuts, so feel free to send me a friend invite.