What do you think? I am divorced and live in the Midwest. My wonderful bf live

1. 52

   taurusratposted 13 years ago

   What do you think?  I am divorced and live in the Midwest.  My wonderful bf lives in New York. ...
   
   My children - boys in their teens - one who has special needs (low cognitive ability) - live near me with my ex (who wouldn't move out of the house).  My bf of three years (first year he lived near me but a great job took him to NY - and he doesn't like the Midwest at all) wants to marry me - and I REALLY want to marry him as well.  It would require me moving to NY however - away from my children (the older one is an adult and the younger - special needs child is 15 and will never live independently)  My boys are very well cared for by me and my ex.  Is it wrong to follow my heart and marry an

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2. 0

   reeltaulkposted 13 years ago

   you know the decision that you need make.  Make some kind of arrangement where you can still see your children.  The first question I should have asked is, Is your boyfriend marriage material and worth the move.  As well as have you been seeking employment in NY which by the way is the best place to live!

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3. 59

   eli greyposted 13 years ago

   I will be blunt. It is a shame that things couldn't be worked out between you and your ex before you were seperated. If you truly love your children who still need their mother, (esp. the 15 year old) you will stay with them no matter what. The older one I'm sure still wants and needs your guidance and approval for things. Is your "wonderful" bf already married to his job? Just asking.
   
   Imagine yourself stretched across the states from the midwest all the way to ny. your family now is tugging at your heart begging you to stay, and your strong feelings for another man are tugging as well. The question is do you honestly love your children enough to sacrifice a second marriage with this man? The answer is yes. If you are religious at all, pray about it. If things don't work out with your bf and ny, im sure it was for the better. I wish you the best in whatever decsion you make.

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