Hi Dim Flaxenwick, yes, you can learn to love yourself. Your self-description sounds a bit like the one I gave myself for many years (I'm also a bit of an aging hippy :-)). I grew up shy, without a sense of who I was, always putting other people's needs before my own and believing they knew better than me.
What did I do? After years of being a doormat, I finally decided that I'd had enough. I don't believe this shyness and self-loathing were aspects of my "natural" personality. I think a lot of it is learned behavior, especially for women who have been enculturated (i.e., taught by social institutions) to put other people's needs before our own and to believe that other people (i.e., men) know better than we do. These views have been changing over the last 50 or so years, but we were born in a generation when they were a lot more entrenched than they are now.
So, for me, it was simply a matter of deciding that I was going to give myself permission to learn how to love and appreciate myself, regardless of any perceived faults or imperfections. And yes, there was a spiritual component to it as well. I had some notion that there was "something" greater than me that I was a part of that loved me unconditionally, and it has helped me love myself unconditionally as well. When I start feeling like I'm not being perfect enough for some reason, I tell myself, "You're doing the best you know how given what you know right now. And that's good enough for me."
So if you can learn to hate yourself, you can also learn to love yourself. It's just a matter of deciding that you are "worth it."