I find your point of view quit interesting and it indeed has something on it when I consider by reading you that it seems that "Selfishness" isn't part of what you feel for your partner or at least not based on that mindset and sex, not especially what determines your "LOVE" for your partner. Well my question on this would go to you and that is: "Do feel that you're wrong on this?"
That's where you've to listen to yourself as nobody can know it better than you do. If your partner does see it differently than you do, than you are definitely not on the same page as she's then surely way more selfish as you are and frankly ... doesn't even really care! If she would be like you and both of you know about, that would be a rule & game changer in how you define your relationship. Part that is only the "BUSINESS OF THE 2 OF YOU", nobody else.
In your case and if your partner indeed feels the same way, trust and loyalty is not defined the way usual couples define it as the parameters are different. So your Trust and loyalty is defined by this new mindset or maybe ... Love-set (?!).
Up to you now if it works for you that way or if you might be pulled back into the classic Relationship model everybody is used to know...
THE BOTH OF YOU MAKE THE RULES AND YOU CHANGE THEM WHENEVER YOU WANT, IF NEEDED.
You can have advice from a lot of different people, be they random or close to you, but nobody will be better adviser than you being in & aware of the perfect match with your partner, no matter if people around agree with it or not.
Like I said ... that's none of their business.