What is it about love that scares us?
Marshall Hodge wrote a book called Your Fear of Love. In it he says, "We long for moments of expressions of love, closeness and tenderness, but frequently, at the critical point, we often draw back. We are afraid of closeness. We are afraid of love." Later in the same book Hodge states, "The closer you come to somebody, the greater potential there is for pain." It is the fear of pain that often drives us away from finding true intimacy.
Well, you just answered your own question.
It's not that we're afraid of love, we're just afraid of losing love. Because a person can survive without a partner, some of us choose to avoid getting too close to somebody so there's no risk of getting emotionally harmed.
Some people with past experiences find it difficult to trust or to even love ever again. This is because they've already been hurt and know what it's like, and aren't willing to risk it again.
The thing about love that scares us? I think it's the possibility that the one you love doesn't love you back. Or maybe they'll stop loving you. But then again, there's always the falling in love part that people are afraid of. The first step off the cliff is always the hardest.
I think what scares most people about love is the possibility of not being loved back. Fear of disappointment can lead to avoidance. It takes a lot of courage to open one's heart.
In fact it takes even more courage to fall in love a 2nd, 3rd, or 4th time. As the old saying goes, "Risk little, Win little" :-)
I suspect that the less vunerable we feel, the easier our capacity to love. It's been said that before you can love anyone else, you must first of all love your self. Most people don't.
The anwer then: work on your self. As you come to accept yourself unconditionally, so will you bring this aspect of yourserlf to others. The fear will dissolve as you gain in self-knowledge and, therefore, self love.
Some people dont know how to love because they didnt get love from their parents ..in order to love you have to have known love.
Some people have been hurt in the past and therefore are afraid to commit to love
Some people love deeply but find it hard to express such emotions..
Some people find it easy to say those three words 'I LOVE YOU ' others want to say them but cant...
There are many that are afraid to love and to be loved because of deep emotions which they are unable to define.
Love is an emotion and there are a few of us who do not wear our emotions on the surface or our hearts upon our sleeve. To some we seem outwardly cold because we do not feel a need to constantly send out or receive reassurance that we love and are loved.
I find over emotional people scary and question why they need to display in public what looks and sounds so false, the desire to call everyone ‘Darling’ has an overtly theatrical falseness about it as if demanding constant attention such as Look at Me !
To me Love is a desire to hold safe and protect all that I hold dear, steer clear and you will never see it, be in danger and hope that someone like me is close at hand, for we do not throw our arms in the air screaming ‘Somebody Do Something !’ Come too close or threaten anything within our protection and you will see and feel the true power of our Love !
Fear of love is loosing love. The pain is so real and seems unbearable. I have learned to take the risk just to have the special moments too.
by lovelife999 14 years ago
I think when we start thinking and liking someone with zeal to get her/him.what would you say?
by Mark 13 years ago
What is your biggest fear?Don't be afraid tell us all what really scares you!
by India Arnold 12 years ago
What scares you most about getting old?
by The weedydash 9 years ago
What in the world scares you most
by skyblugurll1 13 years ago
What secretly scares you the most? I mean, something you would be ashamed of to admit? I'm...afraid of the 'abominal snow-man" from rudolph (sp?) and I'm 42!
by Lory Rich 10 years ago
What is your greatest fear now? And how are you coping?I thought before my greatest fear is fear of failure. Thus, I tend to procrastinate. But the more I think about it, the more I am convinced that it is also a fear of success. It is somewhat confusing. Yet, I know dealing with these fears will...
Copyright © 2024 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. HubPages® is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website.
Copyright © 2024 Maven Media Brands, LLC and respective owners.
As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.
For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://corp.maven.io/privacy-policy
Show DetailsNecessary | |
---|---|
HubPages Device ID | This is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons. |
Login | This is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service. |
Google Recaptcha | This is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy) |
Akismet | This is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy) |
HubPages Google Analytics | This is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy) |
HubPages Traffic Pixel | This is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized. |
Amazon Web Services | This is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy) |
Cloudflare | This is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Hosted Libraries | Javascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy) |
Features | |
---|---|
Google Custom Search | This is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Maps | Some articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Charts | This is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy) |
Google AdSense Host API | This service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Google YouTube | Some articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Vimeo | Some articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Paypal | This is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Facebook Login | You can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Maven | This supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy) |
Marketing | |
---|---|
Google AdSense | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Google DoubleClick | Google provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Index Exchange | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Sovrn | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Facebook Ads | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Amazon Unified Ad Marketplace | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
AppNexus | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Openx | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Rubicon Project | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
TripleLift | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Say Media | We partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy) |
Remarketing Pixels | We may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites. |
Conversion Tracking Pixels | We may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service. |
Statistics | |
---|---|
Author Google Analytics | This is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy) |
Comscore | ComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy) |
Amazon Tracking Pixel | Some articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy) |
Clicksco | This is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy) |