My thoughts: If there are expectations, then there is not selflessness. If there is not selflessness, then there will always be conditions on our willingness and our capacity to give love. Our capacity to love is only limited by our ability and willingness to give it without those conditions. If we line all of our relationships up in front of us like a troop of soldiers, is it more valuable to walk through and say " he loves me, she loves me, he doesn't she doesn't", etc.? Or is it wiser to consider-- "I love him, I love her, or I could love them better".
Good question. A lot to think about.