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The Silent Marriage Killer: Facing the Truth About Adultery

Updated on November 8, 2017
Adultery kills marriages. The cheaters treat it as a thrill full of excitement, but it only lasts a short while.
Adultery kills marriages. The cheaters treat it as a thrill full of excitement, but it only lasts a short while. | Source
Adultery abuses marriage as if it never existed
Adultery abuses marriage as if it never existed | Source
Your spouse should be your best friend
Your spouse should be your best friend | Source
Marriage takes work, investing time in one another with special moments
Marriage takes work, investing time in one another with special moments | Source
Cheaters can't hide their dirty deeds forever, eventually the truth comes out
Cheaters can't hide their dirty deeds forever, eventually the truth comes out | Source
Your marriage must be watered daily by BOTH of you to survive. Be liberal with the nourishment, and it will grow and grow...
Your marriage must be watered daily by BOTH of you to survive. Be liberal with the nourishment, and it will grow and grow... | Source
Marriage is beautiful and a gift from God
Marriage is beautiful and a gift from God | Source
Sex is Holy, in marriage.
Sex is Holy, in marriage. | Source
Your children are watching how you treat your marriage
Your children are watching how you treat your marriage | Source

"Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these, adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and the such like, of which I have told you before, as I have also told you in times past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God." Galations 5:19-21.

It said: "the works of the flesh are manifest." Meaning, it is or will be made known to you. Common sense proves as time goes on in a relationship, you get to know his/her ways, thoughts and actions. That person will be revealed to you for what he/she really is.

It is also important to understand that loneliness is far better than the deep gouges that occur and leave lasting scars, than a sexual relationship gone sour.

Adultery means to have sex with an already married person, or to lust after a married person. If you have fallen for a married man and he leaves his wife for you and you have sex with him, you have just committed adultery.

If you are dating or planning on marrying a person who is married, and leaving their spouse for you, and you have sex, you are both adulterers. Get it?

I often wonder why people are so stupid. If he or she will leave their spouse for you, what makes you think they won't do you the same way? Dumb. The lust of the flesh is powerful and can reduce people into an ignorant stupor of sexual bliss, but only for a short time.

Who is a cheater to think he or she can waltz into your marriage and take your spouse anyway?! "They were as fed horses in the morning, every one neighed after his neighbors wife." Jeremiah 5:8.

It is repulsive and misleading to see married people toss away a marriage to go after the grass on the other side of the fence. That old saying of: "The grass wasn't greener on the other side, it was still just grass", is tried and true.

"But whoso commiteth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul." Proverbs 6:32.

People who are married and cheat on their spouses are not going to make the relationship work anyway, especially when they haven't invested anything into growing the bond. They haven't invested any moral, spiritual grounding into it.

It is easier on those people to walk away from a spouse when they have no moral conviction. No solid footing. That is why it is so important to pray and put God first in your relationships, especially before you tie the knot.

A lasting marriage of trust and true love is more sexy and romantic any day than the few weeks or short time it takes to frolic in any bed, that a person cast their spouse and family off for.

Beds break down just like big, fancy trucks. Muscles lose their strength. Beauty fades with time and hardships. Our bodies sag and wrinkle up as our age goes on. The only thing that lasts is the true intent of your spiritual condition and only God can see that!

If you think Christians are above falling for adultery look what David did with Bathsheeba in the Bible. "And it came to pass David rose from off his bed and saw a woman washing herself, and the woman was beautiful to look upon. And David sent messengers and took her and she came in unto him and he lay with her." Second Samuel 11:2-4.

It starts with a moment. A look. A sleepless night or a deep desire within your loins to make love. It burns through your fleshly body and only heightens the desire when you see naked skin or a good looking person.

Most times, the person doing the adultery can prance away from their sexual frolics like nothing ever happened. But God has a way of avenging truth, especially when his children abominate against him. Fornication and adultery are no joke.

Regardless who you are, and what you have done, you cannot hide your sins from God.

If you are a Christian, and you fornicate or commit adultery, you need to realize you have just destroyed your testimony with the lost. You cannot claim to have morals or be a Christian and commit adultery.

If you leave your spouse or your spouse leaves you for another married person and you have sex, but claim to be Christian's and go to church, then YOU have no testimony to the lost. Get it?!

King David not only committed adultery, but he would lose his son by Bathesheeba when she give birth to him. This scripture is the pain in David's anguish from his choice.

"For thou desirest not sacrifice, else would I give it, thou delightest not in burn offering." Psalm 51:16. David would have sacrificed ten thousands bullocks on the alter if it would have made up to God for his choice. His adultery.

"Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness according to the multitude of they tender mercies blot out my transgressions." Psalm 51:1.

The only difference between King David's choice and most people who cheat is one thing: David repented of his act and never did it again. God did forgive him, but he still had to pay the price, ringing down generations behind the great king. David was a Godly man but he still fell hard when it came to the lusts of the flesh.

He already had several wives he could have slept with that night. His household and life were fulfilled at that time. But in the heat of the moment, in not thinking things through, comes the darkness of disobedience.

Marriages crumble when a pretty glance or a sexy body walks before the cheaters. It is everywhere and all around. We cannot run from our fleshly selves. If more people would stay focused on God then less marriages would crumble because of sex.

Unmoral men and women do not care if your relationship with your spouse lasts anyway. They just want to have some fun with your spouse, at your expense. If your spouse is blind enough to take the bait, cast him or her off.

You will never have a moral relationship under true convictions with that person ever again if they never truly repent anyway. If you take your spouse back and they never repent, you may be getting more from him or her than any new kind of sexually transmitted diseases. And the Bible makes it perfectly clear to give a writing of divorce for adultery.

It will be brought up one way or another how your spouse cheated on you, or how you degraded them anyway. Besides, look at it this way: When we get to be seventy or eighty years old, what matters most then? Will sex be the forefront still?

There are people in nursing homes a lot younger that worry about more important things in life than screwing around. What matters most to them is having someone fellowship with them. Laughter. Good food. Love.

Actually, I believe those things matter to most people.

Sex was meant to be a gift from God, but only in marriage. There is no exceptions. The word of God is filled with passionate moral convictions that I rarely see in people these days. So if marriage is ordained by covenant from above, how much more fulfilling will sex be when you are married to the one God gives you to be with for the rest of your life?

Imagine knowing every little crease or silky curve of your mate. The touch or look in his or her eyes that tell you both you belong to each other. A riveting embrace that shakes you from your head to your toes. God gives us these feelings of absolutism and certainty when we walk close to him.

And only God is the one who helps keep those feelings alive in any one relationship.

The minute one chooses to walk away and follow after the physical lusts of the flesh, is the minute the relationship collapses. People walk away from the true covenant of God our maker for a short time of sexual fun.

A loving gaze or heart to heart endearment lasts far longer in the mind than the short time it takes to roll around in the bed with someone who is morally bankrupt.

Sex is beautiful and memorable when the person you share your life with keeps God first in their life, because sex is a gift from God to help keep married couples strong in their walks with each other.


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    • april holland profile imageAUTHOR

      April Savage 

      5 years ago from Florida

      The Bible makes it perfectly clear you are free to give a divorce for adultery. I truly believe it is something that cannot be tolerated in any relationship.

    • profile image


      5 years ago

      interesting read...i have endured 3 incidents from my wife(even though she claims it was only emotional), when the fourth just happened(i have pictorial evidence so she couldn't deny), i have decided i can no longer tolerate it. so after 9years and 3 kids, we're done. i know i deserve better.

    • april holland profile imageAUTHOR

      April Savage 

      7 years ago from Florida

      Thank you clairewait! Glad you liked it, and thanks for the comment! You have a blessed day!

    • clairewait profile image


      7 years ago from North Carolina

      "I often wonder why people are so stupid. If he or she will leave their spouse for you, what makes you think they won't do you the same way? Dumb." LOVE THIS.

    • april holland profile imageAUTHOR

      April Savage 

      7 years ago from Florida

      My husband cheated on me with many women, so I can relate to people who have been cheated on and it does hurt. But I also know the power of forgiveness and I will not forget it. Thank you for your comment, I hope this article encourages people to step out and accept forgiveness if they have cheated, and help those to forgive if they have been cheated on.

    • ThePastor profile image


      7 years ago from California

      A difficult subject to write on especially when there is hurt in the heart. I have dealt with several marriages where this has occurred. As sad and tragic as it is there is hope for all. I have seen several restored.

      The power of forgiveness is beyond comprehension. Many will not forgive thinking that the person is unworthy of forgiveness, but forgiveness not about the person being forgiven it is about the forgiver. The ability to walk free of offense is true freedom.


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