- Gender and Relationships»
- Relationship Problems & Advice
arguing in relationships
So you guys argue all the time?
It happens just a little too much. It didn't start out so bad, but somewhere down the line it just escalated out of control. At first you were able to hold your tongue and not say hurtful things. Then somewhere down the line hurtful things were all you said. It used to be you would never even think about raising your hand, but somewhere down the line, you find yourself grabbing her arm when she tries to walk away.
Now you're scared because the arguing is almost everyday, and almost everyday it gets a little worse each time. And now you're scared because you love him or her so much, and it just all comes out wrong. Things get misunderstood and taken the wrong way. Good intentions are blamed for fighting and what you thought would be the right thing to do, just turns to complete and utter crap in your love's eyes.
She thinks you don't try enough, he thinks you're just condescending. She thinks you don't take care of yourself enough, he thinks you just want to keep him from having a life. He thinks you don't respect him enough. She thinks you're cheating on her, he thinks you're cheating on him.
She thinks you act like a child, he thinks you treat him like a child. She thinks you always blame everything on her, he thinks you think he can't do anything right anymore.
The love letters don't have any effect on her anymore. Those sweet words that used to make her melt don't even make her blink. It's just everyday routine. She says he doesn't compliment her enough. She complains that he doesn't pay attention to her. He's jealous when her attention goes to anyone but himself...
Just a couple years ago, she always wanted to be by your side, now she looks for any excuse to leave. Just a couple years ago, he used to be fun and exciting, now he just sits around and does nothing interesting. The new is gone, the fun is gone, the excitement is gone, the spontaneity is gone.
You say that you want to communicate and not fight, but her attitude keeps getting in the way and it just turns to fighting. Someone has to be negative. When one of you is happy the other one is mad.
A perfectly good night can get turned around in one minute with a bad comment, attitude, opinion, etc.
It's time to examine YOURSELF
Stop playing the blame game on each other. Find that full length mirror and take a GOOD LONG HARD LOOK AT YOURSELF! If she accuses you all the time of something or if he is always saying how your attitude is a bit much, it's time to see where they are coming from. Look at yourself, how you talk, how you carry yourself. They aren't saying all of these things for no reason. Everything that is said in an argument has a reason and purpose. What the love of your life tells you is something that bothers them. So take what they have to say to heart and stop letting yourself get in your way of a better and happier life.
Try to work on the things that is brought up the most by your significant other. Guys, if she says you don't pay her enough attention, then PLEASE if you love her, pay her more attention! Girls, if he says that your attitude always ruins his good mood, then PLEASE if you love him, try to stay more positive and don't let every little thing you don't like get to you. There is a great importance to all that I'm saying right now.
No cheating allowed
I know you never thought you'd ever cheat, but now you might be having thoughts because of how miserable you've been. DON'T CHEAT!!!! Be a real man or woman and do the right thing. See your relationship through thick and thin. Do everything you can for the person you said I love you to. There's power in those words and you need to stick with that. Don't even think about that other girl or guy that you have been noticing. The grass IS NOT greener on that other side. So just get that crap out of your mind right now. It's not worth it, and you will just be low life scum for doing the act. Don't try to justify it, by making excuses. You are no good scum if you cheat. I don't care if you're a guy or girl. Lord knows more and more girls are cheating in relationships now more than ever.
Be the better person
Be the person that says, "I love you and for this, I will try my very hardest to get back to the place where we loved each other unconditionally." Be proud for that. Be proud in knowing that even if you two fail in your love, that you tried. You can go home with your head low and the tears pouring down your face and be able to say, "I did my best." You're not a quitter and you believe in love and what it REALLY means to love.
Love is a choice, it's a choice to say that you will stick with it and not give up just because those giddy feelings are finally gone and you both are finally being real to each other. It's time to really learn if you're compatible. None of you are showing your nicer sides anymore, and the fists are flying.
So be the better person that finally says that you will be meek and humble and you will swallow your pride and try everything you can to make something work again.
I don't want you to get done reading this and not walk away with anything. I want you to be able to look at your lover and say, "I love you...I know we fight everyday now, but I love you more than my own life. You are my complete world and I want to do anything I can to bring you back to me." If you are reading this, then you are my friend. I want to help you because I'm in this situation right now as I'm writing this.
I'm just like you guys.
I'm in this very same situation. Me and my girlfriend fight all the time. It gets depressing. I cry almost every night about this. I've been accused of cheating when in reality I would never think about doing such a thing. I love her so much, and my good intentions get twisted all the time to fit the agenda of negativity. I would do anything for her, I would do anything. I love her so much, yet we still end up arguing over the stupidest of things. And the sad part is is that we argue bad. It's been getting worse and worse over the past 6 months.
So I have been there where you are. I'm still there. I'm trying to figure my own way out. This is all I know. Love is love and there's no rhyme or reason for why it fails or succeeds. Sometimes it's just luck, and sometimes it's the stubbornness of both people. That neither one of them wants to leave no matter how bad.
If you got something from this article, please leave a comment and share this with the people you know and love.