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Being a Stay at Home Wife
Having a great marriage is what a lot of people crave. Everyone wants or needs that perfect, happy marriage. Perfect though? Is there really such a thing as a perfect marriage? Some people will disagree and and say there is no such thing. Some people, like myself, believe that there is such a thing. I have had my fair share in not so good relationships including a bad marriage, but if you ask me how my life is now, amazing! Being married to my husband has changed my life for the better. We are happy with each other and with the kids. I am a stay at home mother and wife. Sometimes, I love it but there are times where I am not so happy. I will go through and explain what it is like to be a stay at home wife and help to give ideas on how to stay sane and what you can do to pass time.
I was not always a stay at home wife and mother. I was not made a wife until June of 2012. My daughter was 2 years old and my son was 6 years old(previous relationship). My then husband, worked a full time job as did I. I loved working and being able to provide for my family. I was a DSP (Direct Support Professional). I worked with the mental handicapped adults. I was there for a few months until my car accident in January of 2013. I was then out of a job and back and forth to the doctors. I had surgery on my shoulder and knee and several injections in my spine. While this was all going on, my (then) husband was still working and I stayed home to take care of my daughter. I was out of a job for almost 2 years. 2013 was not my year at all. Not only did I have my car accident and lose my job, but I also got divorced that year. I thought that I could never love again. I thought to myself, who is going to want to be with a single mother of two children.
It was not until September of that year that I got my answer. An old friend of mine, who I had had a little crush on since I was 18 years old, had randomly came back into my life. I was hanging out with my sister when he showed up looking for one of his buddies. From that day on we were texting and hanging out with each other almost everyday. He became my best friend. We discussed everything, from random little things to what we wanted for our future. We started dating, of course me on my toes and having many many walls up. The day we began dating, everything changed for me. It not only changed for me, but for him too. We had both been through a lot, and getting together was as if it was fate.
With me going through my divorce, my life seemed like it was falling apart. I didn't want to go out anywhere or do anything. I didn't want to talk to anyone or deal with anyone, including family. I had really thought my life was over and had contemplated ending my life. My ex and I had an agreement with our daughter for visitation. He had come to get her one day and was going to have her for four days. That day, I had planned to end it all, until I received a text message. That text message, with a little persuasion, would end being my life saving moment. The text message was from my now husband, wanting to know if I wanted to go camping. Took a bit but he finally convinced me and I went. From that day on, everything seemed a little brighter in my life.
We hung out almost everyday, when he wasn't at work. He spent nights at my house on his days off and we would stay up for hours and hours talking. We had such a connection, one I thought I once had but realized I never did. Being with this man, honestly made me the happiest woman alive. Within a few months, February 2014, we had gotten engaged. Not many people had approved of it, claiming we wouldn't make it. We didn't care what anyone said. We knew how we felt about each other and we knew what we were doing. Within a year we would be "upsetting" people again, because July of 2015 we got married. We both had great jobs and our head on our shoulders right. We were happier then ever, at least at that time we were.
January of 2016, we found out we were pregnant. That news brought such joy and happiness to our lives, our friends and our families. Everything was going amazingly for us. It wasn't until May 2016 that I had become a stay at home wife. The pregnancy was taking its toll on me and I wasn't able to work. Granted it has only been 5 months of me not working, it has gradually made me stir crazy. Don't get me wrong, I love staying home with my newborn, but not working is a little crazy. Not having my own money to help support my family, makes me a little depressed. My husband says all the time for me not to worry about it, that we will be fine. As much as I believe him and know he means well, I would like to have my own money to spoil my kids and husband with.
While being a stay at home wife and mother I have a somewhat routine and a hectic day. From the time I wake up to the time I go to sleep, I am non stop moving. Lets start with getting up at 6 am to feed the baby. After the feeding there is the diaper changing and getting dressed. From there, the baby goes into his swing so that I can start my daily chores around the house. Dishes need to be done as well as laundry. I would normally start the laundry that way the dishes could get done in the mean time. There is also scooping the cat liter and walking the dog. When the dog comes in I then feed the animals and immediately after that I go and check on the laundry and put it in the dryer. So now while the clothes are drying, there is vacuuming to be done. Having 3 pets seems to leave a lot of pet hair on the rug and furniture. In between the morning routine, there is breakfast and tending to the baby for feeding and diaper changing. After eating some food and tending to my son, I sit down for about 45 minutes to fold the laundry and cuddle with the baby. Around lunch time, I am back at it with sweeping and mopping the floor and if need be, taking the dog out again. There is dusting and windows the need to be cleaned as well. I normally have everything done by 3 or 4 pm.
I do my best to try to get everything done by 3 pm the latest due to the fact that I have to get my daughter off the bus by 345 pm. When it is time, I get the baby ready and head down to get his big sister. When we return home, there is homework and snack time followed by her making a mess of her room while playing. While she is playing and the baby is asleep I prepare dinner for when my husband gets home. All while doing this I am tending to the baby still. I finish dinner just in time as my husband gets home. We all normally sit down together and eat dinner and discuss our days. After dinner, my husband helps me clean up and then he takes the baby while I help my daughter get ready for bed. The process of getting her ready is a little hectic, but that's a 6 year old for you. There is making sure she has a bath and brushes her teeth. After that, she would say goodnight to my husband and her little brother then head to bed. I give her kisses and hugs and tuck her in. Most people would think, oh good the night is over I can relax. Well not this mommy here. After my daughter is in bed, I then go to the living room where I get the baby ready for bed. I feed him, change his diaper and dress him for night night time. By the time all this is done and I can finally head to bed myself, it is about 930-10 pm. Throughout the night I am up 2-3 times feeding my son.
The routine is a daily activity. I have been doing this routine for months now, only with the new addition of my son. Being a stay at home wife and mother can take a toll on me sometimes. I wouldn't change it for the world though, I love my life. There are times though that I need to take a break and sit back and relax. There are studies that show what could happen to a human body if over worked, especially a new mother. There are so many different tolls that overworking can take on a woman's body.
Lets take a look at a few facts about overworking the human body. It is said that those who work more than 10 hours per day have a 60 percent higher chance of a heart attack. 60 percent higher! The average amount of hours of sleep Americans get is only six and a half, when in fact people need eight hours of sleep per night. We’re more anxious, frustrated and impatient than ever and the feeling of stress can be addicting.(Source: Tony Schwartz, "How Well Are You Managing Your Energy?")
It is always a good idea to take breaks in between a busy hectic day. Not only is it healthy for you but for your newborn also. If you are tired, you won't be able to take care of the rest of your family. Being a stay at home wife can be nice, but it can and will most likely take a toll on your body. Speaking from personal experience, I am easily tired, sore and sometimes cranky. Do not get me wrong, even though I am tired and cranky, being a stay at home mom is probably one of the best things that has happen to me in a very long time. I can make sure that the hose is clean and the kids are well taken care of. I can also make sure that my husband is happy and healthy and well taken care of. After all he is the one out making money to provide for our family and pay the bills. Would I like to go back to work? Maybe one day, but right now everything is fine the way it is. Everyone is happy and content. We have a roof over our heads, food in our stomach and love in our hearts.