ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • Gender and Relationships»
  • Romance

Pick Up Lines - Twenty Ways To Score

Updated on June 9, 2012

Not since cavemen stopped using clubs as the best method to score a potential mate has mankind come to a stand still in the art of picking up.

Everything has been tried and tested from aftershave to member enlargement (worded that way to avoid being flagged) to breath freshener but the one thing lacking in attracting a member of the opposite gender has been the ability to communicate effectively.

The Requirements

The requirements for picking up: a print out of this hub, no shame, the ability to speak and no fear of being slapped for the first dozen or so attempts.

This is what success looks like
This is what success looks like

The Theory

Studies have shown that without being built like a Greek god and have the looks of Hollywood movie star you still have a 1 in 100 chance of picking up. Some guys are known to go out on any given night and ask approximately 100 women for a chance at jumping the ferret through the furry hoop with the belief that the odds shorten with each rejection.

But those whose brain cells at least equal the number of their sperm count adopt a far more scientific approach to scoring a game of hide the sausage. The success rate increases significantly when a few well chosen words are used to coax the female into conversation. It is a known fact that guys who have the profound ability to communicate (string a few sentences together) can use words as an effective weapon.

Easy Targets

Usually the uglier or the greater the alcohol consumption on the females part, means the easier the score. But unless you want to have to chew your arm off in the morning in a desperate attempt to escape or you don’t mind the chance of her bringing up the carrot casserole after chugging down too much of the amber fluid and you prefer to wake up next to America's Next Top Model, you’ll find that a few well chosen words does wonders for the statistics. So print out the following guide and put it in your wallet with your prophylactic and before you’ll know it you’ll be using both before the night’s over.

Top Twenty Pick Up Lines

Pick Up Lines That Don’t Work

Not every pick up line invented will give optimum results:

But if you want something that isn’t offensive you can always use the line that won’t result in a face slap:

  • Pardon me, what pick up line works best with you?

But then again it probably won’t result in success either!


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Astra Nomik profile image

      Cathy Nerujen 5 years ago from Edge of Reality and Known Space

      Some of these are funny and even the cheesy ones are still making me smile. :)

      Wonderfully refreshing to see a great hub brimming with humor here.

    • Efficient Admin profile image

      Efficient Admin 5 years ago from Charlotte, NC

      Oh my goodness. If anyone is out there saying these things they will probably stay single forever! LOL voted up and interesting.