ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • Gender and Relationships»
  • Advice & Tips for Women in Relationships

6 Reason's Why He Will Never Leave His Wife

Updated on August 12, 2008

Tisk-Tisk Stupid Girl

So finally Mr. Right came along and let me guess, he road in on his white horse, reached out for your hand to kiss it ever so gently but he forgot to take off his wedding ring first? Don't you just hate it when that happens? So why haven't you two rode off into the sunset yet? Well I think we all know why or at least it would be easy to guess. Stupid girl, stupid girl when will you ever learn....... TODAY! That's right, I'm going to end all of your confusion and heartache right now.


Maybe, and if your not now, you will be before this wild-n-crazy roller coaster lets you off, but one thing's for sure-SHE ISN'T. That's right she is not, psycho, controlling, crazy, nuts or insane. This may sound strange but Mrs. Right is none of those things! A married man knows that by telling you his wife has MAJOR problems you'll be more inclined to think that he is completely in the right for cheating. Besides who wouldn't cheat on a nut? He is also smart enough to know that we as women, tend to be on the super sympathetic side and we want to help anyone we can. So before you tie on your cape and fly in to save the day remember, if he wanted to be saved he'd get a divorce.


Yes you're the prettiest one of all-but who cares! You can be smaller, taller, skinnier, or prettier, the reality is he isn't even taking that into consideration when trying to decide if he should leave her (which by the way he isn't even considering in the first place). You may have seen pictures of her and sized her up, or even threw up after taking one look at her. It doesn't mean jack! Even if the thought of him touching THAT every night, makes you want to sleep with him out of pure pity, PLEASE DON'T! Remember, to a guy, it all looks good with his eye's closed and obviously Prince Charming has one hell of an imagination.


Do you have a little jingle in your pocket, or a lot? It doesn't matter either way because when he met you he wasn't looking for financial stability, he finds that at home. She pays the bills and your a cheap thrill, and that's the sad, sad truth. So please be smart and don't think that you can buy his heart, its already paid for, and you are not the one holding the receipt! Ouch.


You know the rest. If they have kids together you can absolutely forget it. He has three families now; his immediate family, her family and the family they made together. No guy is going to disappoint that many people for little 'ole you. So go ahead tear down the picket fence, they'll rebuild it again. So since you're nothing more than a passing fancy, PASS on him, because no matter how much of a homewrecker you are, you deserve a family of your own. Equipped with 2 kids, a dog, a beautiful house and don't forget your husbands mistress.


When it comes to pleasing your man, well her man, do you often feel like your training for the olympic games? Have you been practicing your dismount on the edge of the bed and most importantly can you stick your landing? You may not be an Olympic goldmedalIst yet, but you sure do deserve the bronze for the way you work it in the bedroom, and he thinks so too. That's why he keeps on comin' back for more, he doesn't think however, that you deserve a platinum wedding ring for it. You may really know your way around his track-and-field, and may even be able to go the distance, but yet again you've lost the race.


And stop him by the cleaners on your way home because that's exactly where he's going if he gets a divorce! That's right, its cheaper to keep-her and so, he will. This is simple mathematics: 2 Mr./Mrs Right, minus 1 Mr. Right equals = BROKE! So send him home packin', your not going to score a home run in this game, because no one's on your team.

It's a sad fact that when two people take a vow of marriage one may be more comitted than the other at some point. One spouse looks for flaws in the marriage and finds an easy way out....... you. So don't fall for his games, let him go home and play by himself.

Still Have Questions About Cheating Then Look No further


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • profile image

      ANONYMOUS 2 years ago

      Call or Text Robinsonbuckler on phone at 1 971-512-TALK (6745) he will solve your relationship problem and bring back your lover in 3 days

    • profile image

      The wife with six kids 2 years ago

      My husband cheated on me when our love life was great. The pain and lack of trust which resulted from that made it boring. So, he went out and cheated again. He got the mistress and exciting sex life, I got $2,400 a month child support and alimony. Love don't pay the bills.

    • profile image

      MiaOs 3 years ago

      God I'm tired of this articles.

      I feel they are very misleading.

      I knew quite a lot of people leaving their wife/husbands for their lover.

      Let's start with myself,

      currently in a long term relationship with my ex lover.

      He just showed up one day on my door with all his stuff.

      Yes he had left his wife.

      He did within the week introduce me to his friends. And not long after his family.

      We both have children from our previous marriages.

      He even lost his job because of this,

      perfectly aware of that would happen.

      He knew what he was giving up of material stuff to be with me.

      He is a great step dad.

      We hardly ever argue,

      and jealousy in our relationship is non existent.

      We have are both very happy.

      And do all kinds of things together.

      Now second part of story.

      My mum

      My mum had an affair with an man when I was a child, she was married and so was her lover.

      They both filed for divorce and got married.

      They have been married for 15 years.

      Blessed me with a little brother,

      they have a very stable and mature relationship, and there is no doubt they only have eyes for each other.

      Even my step dad treats me like I'm his own daughter, even put me in his will on the same line is his other children.

      They do not have issues with jealousy,

      and yes they both lost a lot of money due to the breakup from their marriages.

      But they are happy! That must be more important than money?

      Third story.

      My big brother

      He was married with two children,

      when he meet his mistress at work.

      He left his wife,

      had some financial loss because of it,

      but he is happy and in love after 7 years with his old mistress.

      They have also now a son togheter.

      They are not jealous or distrusting of each other, and I have never seen them argue.

      I could keep going on about other close cases I know about, but I think you get the idea.

      All this articles writing about cheating husbands/wife's like they are manipulative and cunning I do not believe to be true in most cases.

      I think sometimes this articles are written on the fact that the person writing it simply does not like the idea of "adultery". And therefor try to convince mistresses there is no chance whatsoever.

      Also like to mention every person who was left for another person in my story is also happily eater married or in a relationship with someone they are much happier with.

      Believe it or not,

      none of us is fighting with any exes, or previous husbands/wife's that our partner left.

      It might be a cultural difference though. As most of us is all Norwegians.

      Maybe we just look at life and breakup a little differently.

    • profile image

      ANDY DIANA 3 years ago

      my name is andy diana I was married to my husband for 5 years we were living happily together for this years and not until he traveled to Italy for a business trip where he met this girl and since then he hate me and the kids and love her only. so when my husband came back from the trip he said he does not want to see me and my kids again so he drove us out of the house and he was now going to Italy to see that other woman. So i and my kids were now so frustrated and i was just staying with my mum and i was not be treating good because my mother got married to another man after my father death so the man she got married to was not treating her well, i and my kids were so confuse and i was searching for a way to get my husband back home because i love and cherish him so much so one day as i was browsing on my computer i saw a testimony about this spell caster DR zazospellhome, testimonies shared on the internet by a lady and it impress me so much i also think of give it a try. At first i was scared but when i think of what me and my kids are passing through so i contact him and he told me to stay calm for just 24 hours that my husband shall come back to me and to my best surprise i received a call from my husband on the second day asking after the kids and i called DR zatospellhome and he said your problems are solved my child. so this was how i get my family back after a long stress of brake up by an evil lady so with all this help from DR zato, i want you all on this forum to join me to say a huge thanks to DR zato, and i will also advice for any one in such or similar problems or any kind of problems should also contact him his email is (zatospellhome@GMAIL.COM or +2348061182622) he is the solution to all your problems and predicaments in life. once again his email address is (zatospellhom@GMAIL.COM or +2348061182622) HE IS SPECIALIZE IN THE THE FOLLOWING SPELL. (1) If you want your ex back.(2) if you always have bad dreams.(3) If you want to be promoted in your office.(4) If you want women/men to run after you.(5) If you want a child.(6) If you want to be rich.(7) If you want to tie your husband/wife to be yours forever.(8) If you need financial assistance.(9) Have you been scammed and you want to recover you lost money.(10) if you want to stop your divorce.(11) if you want to divorce your husband.(12) if you want your wishes to be granted.(13) Pregnancy spell to conceive baby(14) Guarantee you win the troubling court cases & divorce no matter how what stage(15) Stop your marriage or relationship from breaking apart.(16) if you have any sickness like ( H I V ), (CANCER) or any sickness.(17) if you need prayers for deliverance for your child or yourself. Once again make sure you contact him if you have any problem he will help you. his email address is (zatospellhome@GMAIL.COM or +2348061182622) contact him immediately...

    • profile image

      vicky 3 years ago

      HELLO to my friends out there i am testifying about the good work of a man who helped me. It has been hell from the day my husband left me, i am a woman with two kids my problem started when the father of my kids travelled i never knew that he was living but as at two weeks i did not set my eye on my husband i tried callinghis phone but he was not picking up my call after some weeks he called me telling me that he has found love some where else at first i never took it to be serious but the day after he came to the house to pick up his things that was the time i noticed that things is going bad i hoped that he will come back but things was going bad day by day i needed to talk to someone about it so i went to his friend but there was no hope so i gave up on him, a month later i met a man on the the internet a spell caster i never believed in this but i needed my men back so i told the spell caster my problem at first i never trusted him so i was just doing it for doing sake but after three days my husband called me telling me that he his coming home i still do not believe but as at the sixth day the father to my kids came to the house asking me to forgive him, from that day i was happy with my family thanks to the esango priest of (abamieghe)esango priest he his a great man you need to try him you can as well tell him your problem so that he can be of help to you his contact email is this indeed you are a priest thank you for making my home a happy home again. remember his email is

    • profile image

      smith 3 years ago

      My Name is Mr. Paul Smith; I will love to share my testimony to all the people in this forum cos I never thought I would get my fiancé back who means so much to me. The girl I wanted to marry left me 4 weeks to our wedding for another man, when I called her she never answered my calls, and also deleted me on Facebook. When I went to her place of work she told her boss and everyone in her office she never wanted to see me again. I lost my job as a result of this due to depression and heartbreak, my life turned upside down and everything changed for the worst.

      I tried all I could to get her back due to the love I had for her, but all did not work-out until I met a Man on my journey to Africa for some business opportunities I had been nursing some years back. He seemed a nice guy, so I opened up and told him my problem and all that I had passed through in trying to get back the love of my life and how I lost my job. He told me he was gonna help me, and although it seemed impossible I had a bit of faith, all thanks to the desperation that dwelt within my soul. He swore he would help me and convinced me by telling me the reason why my girlfriend left me coupled with some hidden secrets of my life. I was amazed when I heard that from him. He said he would cast a spell for me and I will see the results in the next couple of days.

      I traveled back to USA the following day, I called him when I got home and he said he had bought all the materials needed for the spells and was busy casting them, he said I was gonna see positive results in the next 2 days. Like clockwork on a Thursday afternoon, my fiancé called me at exactly 12:35pm and apologized for all she had done, she said she never knew what she was doing and her sudden behavior wasn't intentional and promised not to do it again if only I’d accept her back. I swear to you it was like a dream hearing that from her. When we ended the call, I called the man and told him my fiancé had called, but he told me I hadn't seen anything yet, he said I was gonna get my job back in 2 days time, and on that Saturday, highly anticipating, they called me at my ex-office that they wanted me to resume work on Monday and that they were gonna compensate me for the time wasted I had spent at home doing nothing. My life is back in shape, I got my job back, and I got my fiancé back, who by the way I am happily married to today with kids.

      To me this man is really powerful, if only we had more people like him in the world the world would really be a better place. He has also helped a couple of my friends to solve many of their personal problems which has left them happy and satisfied with life. Am posting this to the forum for anybody that is interested in contacting the man for help. You can send him a message through email @;

      I can't give out his number because he told me he doesn't want to be disturbed by so many people but he did say his email was a sure means to reach him and will reply to any emails as soon as he could. Hope he helps you out too......Have faith and Good luck!!

      Email @;

    • profile image

      vicky 3 years ago

      HELLO to my friends out there i am testifying about the good work of a man who help me it has been hell from the day my husband left me i am a woman with two kids my problem stated when the father of my kids travel i never help he was living but as at two weeks i did not set my eye on my husband i try calling but he was not taken my call some week he call me telling me that he has found love some where easy at first i never take to be serous but day after he came to the house to pick his things that was the time i notice that things is going bad i help he will come back but things was going bad day by day i needed to talk to someone about it so i went to his friend but there was no help so i give it up on him month later i met on the the internet a spell caster i never believe on this but i needed my men back so i gave the spell caster my problem at first i never trusted him so i was just doing it for doing sake but after three day my husband called me telling me that he his coming home i still do not believe but as at the six day the father to my kids came to the house asking me to for give him the spell work to said to my self from that day i was happy with my family thanks to the esango priest of (abamieghe)esango priest he his a great man you need to try him you can as well to tell him your problem so that he can be of help to you his content email is this indeed you are a priest thank you for making my home a happy home again. remember his email is

    • profile image

      sarah 4 years ago

      I don't know how you did it, but you did it. My man came back within a

      week after you did the Ultimate Return My Love Spell x 3. He finally

      dumped that other woman. He said he couldn't stop thinking about me.

      He said he was thinking about me everyday NON-STOP! I still can't

      believe it. I wish I found you earlier before I paid so much money to

      other sites and spell-casters. We are going to a concert tonight and

      this month we are going to Las Vegas, I think it's a surprise, because

      he's been talking about marriage lately. thanks to oluwakemi you

      can contact on his email or call +2348103508204

    • profile image

      susan 4 years ago

      Hello,everyone i am from Canada i never ever believed in spell until i meet a man called dr ogala who help me cast a spell that bring back my ex-lover who left me for two years before our marriage,His spells works beyond my imaginations and today i am happily married with two kids and me and my [ex-lover] now husband are very happy more than ever before,what more can i say rather than to say thank you dr ogala for been there for me,contact him today and your life will never ever remain the same his email is, may the lord continue to use you to save people as you did to me, He is the best spell caster that can help you.

    • profile image

      Newton 4 years ago

      My name is newton from Irland, I have great joy in me as i am writing this testimony about the great woman called Mother Esango. When my lover left me i never taught that i will be able to get her back after all she has put me through, But i am so happy that after the interference of mother esango was able to get my lover back after 19days and i can proudly that who ever need help in getting there lover back should contact mother esango shrine on for proper understanding of what i have just witness.

    • profile image

      Buck 4 years ago

      Maybe that's why you are now a dirty cheap pro sti tute. Google the handle folks if you don't believe it.

    • profile image

      Sandra 4 years ago

      , My Ex-boyfriend dumped me two weeks ago after I accused him of seeing someone else and insulting him. I want him back in my life but he refuse to have any contact with me. I was so confuse and don't know what to do, so I reach to the internet for help and I saw a testimony of how a spell caster help people to get their ex back so I contact the spell caster and explain my problem to him and he cast a spell for me and assure me of 48hours that my ex will return to me and to my greatest surprise the third day my ex came knocking on my door and beg for forgiveness. I am so happy that my love is back again and not only that, we are about to get married. Once again thank you Dr Aluya, You are truly talented and gifted. Email: is the only answer. He can be of great help and I will not stop publishing him because he is a wonderful man.

    • profile image

      Deborah 4 years ago

      My Ex-boyfriend dumped me two weeks ago after I accused him of seeing someone else and insulting him. I want him back in my life but he refuse to have any contact with me. I was so confuse and don’t know what to do, so I reach to the internet for help and I saw a testimony of how a spell caster help people to get their ex back so I contact the spell caster and explain my problem to him and he cast a spell for me and assure me of 48hours that my ex will return to me and to my greatest surprise the third day my ex came knocking on my door and beg for forgiveness. I am so happy that my love is back again and not only that, we are about to get married. Once again thank you Prophet Prince You are truly talented and gifted. is the only answer. He can be of great help and I will not stop publishing him because he is a wonderful man.


    • profile image

      Senehi 4 years ago

      Hi ...I am trying to get out of an extremely abusive, manipulative marriage of 10 years. Been seperated for a year now but my husband is still pursuing me. In spite of the trauma, I kept going back... A year back I met my mm. Started off with friendship...and now I know I am deeply in love with him. He is the one who has given me the strength to finally not go back to my abusive husband. I have a 1.5 year old baby and today as i am trying to re-establish myself ...i dont feel empty or incomplete. But my mm will never leave his family and two kids. He says he loves his wife. He is one of the most compassionate man I have come across... no false promises ... and although I know he loves me just as deeply.... he never says anything ... Always by my side ...holding me when I am weak... guiding me gently... Says he doesnot want to loose our friendship ever...I know it hurts him deeply...its more like a heavy cross he carries... but his responsibilty and loyalty to his family will always be foremost and neither do I encourage him ever. But deep down I wonder.... in a few years time... when I settle down .... maybe he ll have the courage to choose what his heart really yearns for. Does my relationship make me feel guilty? Yes it does ...but today..very selfishly perhaps... I need him around to be able to get out of my horrible marriage. Whatever happens, happens for a reason ...just that the reason is obvious only in hindsight.

    • profile image

      Mrs.Rome 4 years ago

      This is an entertaining article however the way it is written seems as if a personal experience is being described not necessarily a general fact. More out of resentment or animosity towards someone who has done this to you. Not all situations are the same and human beings make mistakes it just so happens that the mistakes can sometimes be getting in a relationship that is not ideal or "normal." No matter what your position is, true love will always prevail if you are the wife or the other woman alike. Always remember that you only have one life to live, live it with who you want.

    • profile image

      jacobs 5 years ago

      i am Mrs. jacobs from switzerland. i want to use this medium to congratulate DR.olugbo for the great help of spell he has render to my relationship

      outbreak. since past 3 years i was in a relationship problem with my ex, he

      always get me beating, i never knew he has another girl outside the town, her

      name is michel, until i get his email address from the internet, so i email

      him and i laid all my complain to him, he promise me that i am to keep off away from him, and i really agreed on it, but on a condition that my lost

      ex will be back,,,, he really but some few items he uses to consulting his

      great oracle, his plan for my relationship was fullfil and my lost ex was

      back again within 48hrs... please if you are in such mess today please

      contact him at (

    • profile image

      Laurence 5 years ago

      My wife has been a cheat. We have been married for 22 years. In the last few years we have been having problems because i never knew she was cheating on me till a friend of mine saw her with the guy in a hotel. She has been rude to me and everything about her has changed all because of a guy whom i dont know. Just early this year she was calling for a divorce accusing me of assault. Then she called and told them I beat her with a belt. Thank God I met this spell lady ''priestess Ifaa" who a friend introduced to me. It was so pain that my family is tearing apart. I would even go to jail but this spell lady consulted the spirits and told me that the guy place a spell on her for her to distroy me and marry him. This hurt me so much and i asked the spell lady to make the spell reverse. I did everything to make sure the spell was done and on few days later the spell started manifesting because we were back together and we were happy just like the day we got married the reverse spell this spell lady did made the guy go far and never come close because he is a demon. She could not work or support herself that's why she was acting that way. This spell lady is great, she has rescued my family. i met the spell lady though her email ID meet her and get your solved.

    • profile image

      kimbely 5 years ago

      Am from Australia, but i reside in "USA" i came in contact with a spell casters who cast a spell for me to get back my lover back. i have been scammed thousands of dollars by some fake spell casters, i needed my lover back so desperately because of the lone that have echo my heart. until i was referred to meet a spell caster on-line on this address by a friend who has once felt their powers i visit the spell caster with little or no faith because of the previous and terrible experience i have had. they then cast the spell it worked after 2days just the way he said it would be. I am glad with all gratitude that i now have my lover back to my life with his help. he is so real with no doubt. why not see for yourself if in such worries. again on

    • profile image

      Claudia 5 years ago

      So what about the saying if you dont take care of what u have someone else will? I find this coments to be very feminists i mean we all make mistakes but there has to be a good readon why we all cheat at one point or another? Ppl seem to always have a tendency to "judge" why do we cheat and if it is wrong ir not, but the truth is, we all lack something in our lives in if someone comes in and show us we really are worth it? Why not live the expererience? We can learn from it, and i am a firmly believer of " things happen for a reason " type thing. I am dating a married man that wasn't married when i met him and to be honest? I wouldn't change anything of it, i do believe that if us meant to be it will happen and things will work out, if not oh well i at least will have the memories which are amazing. Sorry to say this but if you haven't lived it dOn't comment or judge on it cuz u simply have NO idea! :)

    • profile image

      Duolly 5 years ago

      I had been having problems maintaining relationships long term. For reasons not known to me at the time every relationship l had kept failing. Guys just left me with no valid reason. When my last one failed l felt l had to seek help. How could l keep letting this happen? Vudoo spell caster quickly did a consultation for me and found out there were problems with me, l had somehow had a curse on me that prevented me from having lasting relationships. With his help and dedication we got rid of the curse. He cast me a lost love spell and a binding love spell. The most amazing part was that the result it 4 days and my man is back in my arms. The vudoo spell caster was there to reassure me and to make sure my financial life was secured. He immediately got to work to resolve any problems.

      If you are having problems in any aready of live, i would advice you meet this spell caster through his email, i met him through a co-worker who knew about my problems. and now am free for good and happy.

    • profile image

      Duolly 5 years ago

      I had been having problems maintaining relationships long term. For reasons not known to me at the time every relationship l had kept failing. Guys just left me with no valid reason. When my last one failed l felt l had to seek help. How could l keep letting this happen? Vudoo spell caster quickly did a consultation for me and found out there were problems with me, l had somehow had a curse on me that prevented me from having lasting relationships. With his help and dedication we got rid of the curse. He cast me a lost love spell and a binding love spell. The most amazing part was that the result it 4 days and my man is back in my arms. The vudoo spell caster was there to reassure me and to make sure my financial life was secured. He immediately got to work to resolve any problems.

      If you are having problems in any aready of live, i would advice you meet this spell caster through his email, i met him through a co-worker who knew about my problems. and now am free for good and happy.

    • profile image

      anotherone 5 years ago

      to weakoleme,

      i am really sorry... please don't feel alone. There are so many others in your position. It is not only your fault, he played you big time and I truly hope that he mans up and helps you when you are going to need it the most. Guys can be such tools... women need to realize that and stop hurting each other. we all know how it feels to be hurt by a man whether we are the "other" woman or the "only" woman, they are a whole different species! good luck,and no matter how you feel about your childs father, know that your new baby is a gift and enjoy every single day with him or her!

    • profile image

      weakoleme 5 years ago

      mommyplus4..I'm so sorry that you have to go thru this alone. Your story has touched me because I'm currently in the same situation about 2 years now and he suppose to be separated maybe getting a divorce and I'm now pregnant due in a few weeks with his son, it hurts like hell, but I can't blame anyone but myself I was in a vulnerable situation and this is where it lead me. I believe the only good that's going to come out of this is my first child. I'm at the point now where I just don't care anymore, he's not leaving her plus they have kids, he made her seem as if she was the worst creature on earth but now he's trying to fix things by having her and me. I'm a strong women but when I was at my weakest point in life, he comes mr. right or may I say mr. wrong. I normally wouldn't comment to post like this but I'm so alone. Just know I feel your pain.

    • profile image

      Stupid girl, silly wife. 5 years ago

      .....funny. But not completely factual. Some married men cheat because their wives got the ring, and stopped trying there after. Being a mother doesn't equal sweat pants, and being a woman is a super power in itself, so dressing it up isn't rocket science. Some do leave her, and some may stay, but only bitter women blame "her". Assuming some woman just wanted our man is what lost him to begin with.You have forgotten, maybe she is everything you call her, but she got what she wanted. Work harder on seeing him, and he will see you.

    • profile image

      Mia261 5 years ago


      “I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.” ? Marilyn Monroe Quote


    • profile image

      Emma41 5 years ago

      To "I did it "- I burst into tears after reading your posting - your story is so like my ex-MM. All along I encouraged him to try fix up his marriage first - he has listened and even though I am crying I know its the right thing to have done. He is only to contact me again if he is single, which I know in my heart won't happen. So I am the OW with a sad heart but hopefully a wiser head....

    • profile image

      mommyplus4 5 years ago

      What happens if u didn't know the liar was really married...after a year & 2 months I come to find out now I'm since I exposed him he left me & denied his unborn son...if i would have known he was married I wouldn't have looked his dissappointed & hurt.

    • profile image

      Mia261 5 years ago


    • profile image

      Mia261 5 years ago

      Well, I did it. Just sent the seperated, but married man, with a girlfriend on the side an email/ text. Saying something simple like "Gee, our communication must be pretty bad for me to be this confused and distressed, so I have to leave. We can talk in a few days if you want to. After then, fell free to call me but I'm so confused I'll have to call your girlfriend to clear things up". I think its a fair game if everyone involves makes the choice to live a polyamorous lifestyle. To lie, cheat, and manipulate is just a lot of b@llshit goin' down (lol). I'm joking now, but boy does it hurt.

      P.S. I replaced the SOB in about 15 seconds (I have been looking for the past two months). Better body, better location, he pays when we go out. And I know I have to say "look, this is not going to work unless you help me. Good relationships are built on a foundation of two. I won't always get things right, but I am trying to communicate with you, so you have to tell me what works for you. And honesty is not always truthfulness, so are you OK being truthful? "

      Step one -- we get to know each other well enough to both understand if we both want to move forward to step two -- friendship. Wish me luck. May we all find the happiness and peace that we are seeking.

    • profile image

      Meg 5 years ago

      Mia261. Please stay away from him. You dont need to be hurt anymore...find the strength to move past this

    • profile image

      mia261 5 years ago

      Wow. My MM (seperated from his wife for the last 2 years) is the best liar I have ever met. Really, really good. He's just honest enough to be completely misleading. I tryed to work things out with him because he was so "considerate". Me getting close while he's avoiding telling me the truth even when I ask direct questions. Last week he's discussing living together, this week he's f@cking someone else. Glad I never f@cked him. Yet he's so skillful a liar, I still wonder if I am mistaken even when the facts are staring me in the face. Son of a B@tch -- ain't worth sh@t. Learning who they are before getting too involved -- priceless.

    • profile image

      Meg 5 years ago

      So, I guess writing this is therapeutic...I got burned....I thought he was my soulmate...he was my first love and we both have been in committed relationships for over 10 years and reconnected....It all seemed so "right" and "meant to be" and so fairytale like. I'm so thankful that we were only together 2.5 months....It was so strong that we wanted to leave for eachother immediately...I asked him if he was going to piss or get off the pot and he replied that he couldn't. I was left with a broken marriage and a broken heart. I am educated, in shape, and way prettier than his wife and it still didn't matter. He couldn't leave. Maybe I am naïve but I still feel that he wanted to leave but he couldn't....I still can't believe that I will never speak to him again. My marriage is stronger than ever....on the bright side, but it is tough to get over infidelity. My husband has been amazing and realized he was never really there for me. It wasn't worth all of the damaged relationships that I caused especially the one with myself. I had a near perfect image and that is now gone. I have to learn to accept what I did and move on. I know it is sick but I still feel that I have never connected with anyone like I did with him. I am definitely a work in progress. I am hopeful that my marriage with my husband will be stronger than ever and this even was a mere stumbling block for us. I never had sex with the guy I was going to leave my husband for, thank god! Good luck to all in this predicament...hopefully someone will read this and it will help them....Great hub!

    • profile image

      Mia261 5 years ago

      My MM has not lived with his wife for more than 2 years. He tells me the last time he had sex was more than a month ago, with another female friend who is not his wife. So I have to ask the wives, if you aren’t f@cking your husbands what EXACTLY do you think they are trying to do? Can a wife trust her husband to be faithful? Not if his needs aren’t met within the marriage.

    • profile image

      Nobody 5 years ago

      I recently found out about my husband's affair with a woman he met in graduate school. 7 years in marriage, we were apart for most of the time. We are from another country, I first, to attend graduate school, he then quit his dream job for me, married me and came to the states. He has been bitter and regrets his decision, because it totally changed his everything. I loved him with my whole heart and believed he loved me. I knew he wasn't happy but didn't know he chose to get comfort from ow. The woman persued him, told him she loved him since they first met and that she did t love her husband and was ready to leave him. My husband must feel so assured by the overwhelming love from a slightly younger woman and all the attention. They were in two different states, but he has. Isited her twice and travelled once. Now I found out, he chose me and claimed that he only loved me, never thought about leaving. He drove 10 hours back to me and promised to end it. He seemingly did so, over the phone. He refused to give any details. But I found out that the affair lasted almost two years, and they talked on the phone almost two hours a day and all those emails (he deleted all but a few were left in trash). Now he claims that he doesn't and didn't love her and wants a second chance. I go back and forth, not ready to forgive, or not. Deep inside I know he had feelings for her but want to prove he was just playing her heart, which is as wrong. I'm truly lost. He wants to come back, but can I trust him?

    • profile image

      Future 5 years ago

      I have currently been in a relationship with a married man for a year now. I did not know he was married when I met him. I found out 8 months later after his wife called and said he was married and she was expecting their first child via invitro. I was gay broken and completely confused. This man spent every night night with me. Any time I needed him he was there. He's still my partner had never left my side. They are still married and have a the month old child. He shows not much love towards his wife or baby. I'm confused as to what this means. He's recently asked me to may him and I have yet to give and answer.

    • profile image

      Mia261 5 years ago

      I’ve been on a mission lately, determined to give myself the chance to find love again. Last night I went bowling with a singles group, 3 men and 3 women. I’ve learning that if I surround myself with eligible men, its much easier to be single. Last night as I was admiring the broad sholders of one of our companions, the easy smile of another, I realized I didn’t miss my married friend at all. Last Friday, I took a Salsa dance lesson and danced all night with different men. Same thing. Miss my married friend? Not so much.

      But when I’m alone, sometimes I miss my married friend very much. Sometimes I can’t take the idea of him not being in my life. When the idea of not seeing him anymore upsets me a lot, I acknowledge that I am attached to him. But I tell myself that I will have to love him from a distance.

      Its been my experience that distance and the comfort of good male companionship is very helpful in dealing with a break up. Its also been my experience that separating from a loved one never gets any easier, because the more time I spend with the loved one, the more attached I become.

      I’m also avoiding getting involved quickly with someone else. Nothing too serious until the heart settles down. And I keep in mind that I have to be careful as I re-enter the dating world. Safety is key.

    • profile image

      Alisha29 5 years ago

      I wanted to let all of you know that married man I was seeing, I decided to end it. We still love each other but I am almost in my 30's and I want to have a man that will be at home with me and my kids. I had met someone new and he is the sweetest man I have ever met and he is NOT MARRIED. I just hope that I can love him enough to forget about the married man. If anyone has advice about getting over someone you love so much, please help me with it?

    • profile image

      Mia261 5 years ago

      I want to thank each of you for expressing your views on this subject. These posts have helped me to better understand the situation I am in.

      My married man story began about 3 months ago. At that time I met a man who said he was separated. I checked out his story and the facts support that he has lived by himself for about two years. From the beginning I have told him that I was just looking for a “platonic friendship” with him and that I would not have sex with him as long as he was legally married. I am attracted to him and he treats me with consideration and kindness, so I began to wonder why he is not divorced.

      After 3 months of illusion and double talk, yesterday he tells me that his wife will lose the insurance coverage that she needs if they get divorced and that he doesn’t want to jeopardize her health and well-being. So it looks like the possibility of him getting divorced are slim to none. This man has shown me more respect and consideration than any of the single jerks that I have been involved with. So I only know him to be a kind, family-oriented person who is trying to find happiness.

      I am angry that he was so evasive about the situation, when I was so truthful and concerned about everyone involved. Life’s circumstances are often difficult. He has to take responsibility for resolving his family problems in a way that does not place the burden on other women. I have to take responsibility if I get hurt by dealing with him. I will not be his other woman.

    • profile image

      Alisha29 5 years ago

      I am now in a relationship with a married man.We have been seeing each other for almost a year.I didn't find out about his wife until a few months ago. I couldn't end it with him because I fell so deeply in love with him.The thing with me is when I fall in love with someone I don't ever fall out of love.We have both lost a loved one from death.He doesn't have any kids with her. I have three wonderful kids that are not his but love him as if they were. We met just a few months after he got married. He tells me he wants to leave her but doesn't know how to, he has never hurt someone like that before. He has been honest with me ever since I have found out about his wife. He said the only reason why they got married is because he was being deployed to Iraq for over a year and she said either marry me before you leave or we are over. They just started their relationship and he didn't want to take a chance. But he doesn't love her and he is miserable right now. The only time he is happy is when he is with me and my kids.I have a lot of faith that he will leave her soon. I know most of you say that he will not but she was a rebound from his other wife's death. I had a rebound right after my husband's death but I knew there was no love in that relationship. I know in my heart he is my soul mate. I know that a lot of you think I am wrong for staying with a married man but you can not help who you fall in love with. God places people in your life for a reason rather it is good bad. I have been praying every day about this whole thing and I still feel in my heart that I need to stay with him. For those who ask "why did you come to this site for" I will tell you why. I did not look this up my mother looked this up and showed me. I felt the need to comment, so I did.

    • profile image

      I did it 5 years ago

      I am a MM and had a 3 yr. affair with a coworker. She was married also. Initially it was just an escape from the daily grind of life for both of us but spending so much time, seeing each other daily we fell in love. I thought this is it. She’s what I’m missing. Prior to the affair at home I was doing the things I felt was required for a happy marriage, helped cook and clean, shared responsibilities with the kids(2), working out to stay in shape so that I would remain attractive to my wife , nice house, nice cars, the American dream but still unfulfilled somehow. I did talk to my wife, told her I wasn’t happy and a few things that I would like to be different and she did the same. We would do those things for a couple of weeks and then drift back into our same old “comfortable” lifestyle. After the kids we became parents instead of a couple. We let the kids take priority over the marriage. In hindsight I know now that I should have taken another avenue to resolve my feelings, counseling, marriage classes, etc. Anyway, my Ow got divorced about 1 yr ½ into our affair. I never asked her to, never encouraged her too, in fact I told her to try and work it out and that I had no intention of leaving (although my wife later told me in a way I did encourage her because I gave her hope that we could maybe be together by my feelings for her, more on that in a second). Fast forward 2 1/2 years into the relationship. My feelings are growing stronger and finally I decide I am going to leave my wife and so I go to her, a woman I had been married to for 20 yrs, put each other through college, there for me when my brother died, there for her when her mother died, this attractive and spiritual woman, and told her I didn’t think I could live my life without this other woman. She didn’t have a clue about the other woman. Blindsided her. Neither of us will ever forget that day. I moved out of the house, got my own apartment, ready to start my life with “the woman of my dreams”. There’s always something about reality though. Once I moved out the kids started calling me every night asking why didn’t I want to come home, wife asking me did I want to at least try counseling. She handled it all with such class and dignity even though I knew it was killing her inside. The guilt of it all was killing me. It just felt so selfish. I went back home. At first, not for my wife but for the kids. I was still crazy about my OW. The OW felt so betrayed and my wife did too. I didn’t go into it with the intention of hurting anybody and I had ended up hurting everybody. My wife and I did the counseling, took the marriage classes and in a year I learned more about my wife, more about relationships, more about love, more about myself than I had in the past 20. My wife and I are still working through it all. She’s still hurt, hell I’m still hurt, still feel the guilt of causing all that pain to two people that were closer to me than probably anyone. I realize now that I love my wife and I know I don’t deserve her but I thank God for second chances. As for my OW truth be told I still think of her, how I hurt her. I hope that one day she can forgive me. I see the other posts on here and that hurts me too. I wonder if she feels the same. That I just used her and played with her heart. That she never meant anything to me. She probably does. I was crazy about her. I know in my heart that under different circumstances I would have made her mine. Looking back it was the best/worst thing that ever happened in my life. The worse for obvious reasons. The best because without it I would still probably be living my same old “comfortable lifestyle”, bored, unfulfilled. So people say “Once a cheater, always a cheater” not for me. I never want to cause my wife, myself or any other person that kind of pain again. I know now that a marriage takes work and commitment and I’m all in.

    • profile image

      L.W. 5 years ago

      HELLO HubPages...

      I accidentally happened upon your page...I have to disagree...

      My Dad became involved with a woman after I left home, age 17.

      My Mother wrote me a 14 page letter, telling me all about it.

      He had gone to a French Lesson in a city of another province in Canada.

      This was on their anniversary.

      My Mother went to that city, to surprise him on their anniversary and found him at the Hotel across the street from the course with the woman in the hotel room.

      They divorced.

      Frankly, it was the best thing that could have happened - life at home was hell for us two girls and has scarred us emotionally.

      He stayed with that woman til he died two years ago in November.

      My Mother and Dad were always fighting.

      My StepMother had a good marriage with my Dad.

      She misses him terribly.

      Far too many generalizations here - pidgeonholing of each party in these circumstances.

      I feel that the very best would have been that both my parents became Christians and worked out their marriage.

      However, they were not - so, the second best happened...they divorced.

      Unfortunately, my Mother never found another...I believe, becuz, she had so many issues about men...bitter, resentful, paranoid and non-passionate...I hate to say that, but, it's true.

      Men need love and affection...if you neglect your man, you will lose him...period.

      I was recently involved with such a man...handsome, intelligent, virile...but, only on the internet.

      His wife found my number on his cell...(he was divorcing her to marry me)...and she called me...I did not lie to her...but, I did not tell her that we were an item online.

      She asked if I knew him - I said, yes, he was a member of my website. That's all. I could not hang up or lie...I know God expects better of me than that.

      He reconciled with her, but not becuz he did not love me...only I know the situation...and I did not know about his marriage until a few weeks into our online friendship.

      I gave him an ultimatum, when I did find out...he went through divorce proceedings and we were almost to the decree when she got the cell.

      He has not said I pray and wait...and that is all I can do.

      Yes, it hurts incredibly, when I want him myself, here with me...but, I must look to the Lord and when and if it is in His Will & Timing, he will return.

      So, pleez, do not cast aspersions on all married men...they are not ALL BAD...they have needs for love and affection, like anyone else.

      They are only human, just like we are.

      May God heal all of us and meet our need for a mate,




    • profile image

      total bs 6 years ago

      My gf broke up with me because my wife was still in the house. She cheated, lied, attempted suicide, totaled car while on pills, etc. So I filed for divorce, but couldn't legally get her out of "our" house. I really tried but no luck. After 6 months of it my perfect girl called it quits due to the "wife" still being there.

      So why didn't i just leave? Because I refuse to have a bankruptcy on my credit, and her total income for a month doesn't make a house payment. Although I found my dream girl, I couldn't chance that over my new financial beginnings.

      All I'm saying is that maybe I'm 1 in a million, but my wife was just my legal roommate, and the whole thing sucked in the end.

    • profile image

      Leslie 6 years ago

      To all the women out there contemplating becoming mistresses I have one piece of advice......make sure he leaves her before you start it up and if he doesn't just forget it!

      I knew a man for 4 years, he was helpful and supportive at work and I really liked him. We were both married. All of a sudden we had a lot of unexpected contact and my feelings for him developed quickly. My marriage of 16years was very poor and I had never had feelings for anyone else or cheated before and my husband was faithful. I am a good person and didn't wish to cheat on my husband so took the decision to file for divorce.

      That was a big and brave decision because it meant I had to take the consequences of my own actions. I started seeing this man and we fell in love quickly. He had a baby of 14 months and was finding it hard to leave his partner because of that.

      She is nearly 3 now and he still hasn't left. We have been through 2 Christmases, big birthdays, holidays apart and his partner now knows about me. It's crunch time and he says I'm the woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with.

      Will he leave her? What do you think. I know in my heart of hearts what the answer is!

      Be careful ladies, I took a big decision to break up my family even though the marriage was poor the family wasn't! Things will never be the same again. My ex is happy and re marrying and deservedly so. I'm going to have to start over but will never touch a man in a relationship ever again.

      Think about what you are giving up or breaking up. Affairs are full of passion and heady feelings but the payback for having that illicitly is the pain you go through when it doesn't work and you have invested yourself and your heart into something that has little chance of survival. X

    • profile image

      Sasha 6 years ago

      Don't set yourself for heartache and pain. It will come if you dont do the right and not get into a relationship with a married man. It is so true they never leave their wife. If you been in this situation just forgive yourself and move on.

    • profile image

      ally 6 years ago

      I think that the advice given here is helpful because it provides different perspectives and the reader can pick the information that fits their own experience. I've been married for over 30 years and I did marry for love... HOWEVER I realize that nothing is 100%! Maybe I'm cynical, but I've seen too many of my friends get burned by their significant other (man and woman)and you would have never imagined that the person could have done what they did... it's been a real eye opener! So read all the comments and take away what you can from them,it's always good to see different points of view, you may learn something new or get some piece of mind knowing that others are going through a similar situation.

    • profile image

      Brenda 6 years ago

      I think people should be careful when giving advice. Too much of what I have read is presumptious. All people are different and all relationships are different. Its not fair to judge people with you dont know the whole of things. To say that a one man will do the same as another is just misleading. many men travel and never cheat, many men cheat and never travel, some women think a man is cheating when he is not, not every "other woman," is a family wreaking whore. Not every cheater will remain a cheater. Things are not that simple, people make mistakes, love can be healed sometimes. One thing I am certain of is the best reason to marry is because you love someone win or lose.

    • profile image

      Anna Estronza 6 years ago

      The first thing a new man in my life who wants to woo me, I'll tell hm first and foremost "show me the divorce papers, take me to the final resting place if she's dead, If married my only exception he must be filthy rich because that's a horse of a different color and he'll be my sugar daddy.

    • profile image

      anom 6 years ago

      Most cases were guys cheat they do not leave the wife for the other woman. A cheating man is a liar so why believe anything he says? I agree with you as this has been my experience. Sex is so easy to get from women now, what makes yours more special than his wife? Most men value their finances more than their pen ises. Translation he may gripe about his wife but who has the check book????

    • profile image

      mandi 6 years ago

      To Anonymous... you crack me up... I love your description of the other woman, LOLOL!! It really makes you wonder what the real reason is that guys cheat. It's definitely his loss and you will be much better off without him!! The OW sounds so skanky!

    • profile image

      andrea 6 years ago

      Amazing article! Very true. Every mistress should read that. Bottom line....a man is married; do not mess with him. OF COURSE he is lying to you! Stupid girls that actually think they are special. ha. The other woman is used and tossed to the side.

    • profile image

      Gidget 6 years ago

      Some Men do leave their wives and three kids for the a woman who does appreciate him and does not take him for granted, and does not have him running around with kids all weekend long. You see he also moved out of state so taht he is not even within driving distance to take the kids anywhere. So far it's been 8 wonderful years, so yes it does happen. You just have to know how to know what you want and go after it and know how to keep it going.

    • profile image

      Anonymous 6 years ago

      Some are these are just wrong. Like #5, my husband cheated and the OW is the ugly, fat, nasty one. She is like 10 years younger than me but 6inches shorter and 50 pounds heavier (I'm only 115-exercise a lot). I knew his friend liked fat nasty ugly women, but didn't realize so did my husband. Her eyes are really far apart and she has this huge mole on her chin, also looks like she has a mustache. I don't see how he could look at her, must have needed a bag to do her. Well she can have him, but not til I'm done at the courthouse-hope she likes them poor.

    • profile image

      Cynthia 6 years ago

      I've cheated with a man who is cohabitating with a woman and they have one child, a 20 year old daughter. We'd been talking only 8 months and have slept together around month 6 and did it 3 times. I ended up cutting it off because I know in my heart that it was wrong. I've never done that before and never again will I do it again. My conscience got in the way and I kept thinking that I am a woman and I wouldn't want another person to do that to me, which it had already happened prior to me doing it, but I didn't use that as an excuse, I just got caught up in the moment, sad but true. Anyhow, i just abruptly ended it with blocking his calls and completely shutting him off. We didn't have any argument or anything, I just simply woke up one morning and said, "I'm done, I deserve a man for me and I don't share" and that was it. He's since tried to pop up over my house, but I didn't answer my door. I guess he wants to know what happened or why the silent treatment and lock out all of a sudden...maybe he wants closure...I really don't give a hoot. Anyone who cheats on their spouse doesn't deserve an explanation of anything. I know kharma may come get me later, but what about when I was the victim before I came the suspect in this case. Unfortunately, it seems everyone is cheating, sad, but true...hardly no one is straight.

    • profile image

      dee  6 years ago

      I am not married and never will be with a married man. If you decide to open your legs to married man or have sex with a married woman you are nothing! This only if you know the other party is married. I really hope you dont think that you two will be together and he or she will be faithful to you..... you have a better chance playing the lottery. Let no man touch what God put together! Karma aways comes to bite you in the a$$. Please know your worth do not sell yourself short. I have seen it happen from both aspects and the other person will be left in the dust the husband or wife will not consider #2 he wants to save his face! So everyone up here who thinks it is okay to brake up unions remember Karma will come back to you and it can become a gererational curse! God is real!!! No im not bitter never had it happen, but I do believe in God and his word!

    • profile image

      Minnesota  6 years ago

      Stupid? How rude. This sounds like a suspicious wife's possessive warning. Fact is, nothing you can do will get a man or woman to stay in a marriage if they are unhappy enough, treated badly and taken for granted. No sex is so amazing that it is worth throwing away a reputation, a house, a family, a car- etcetera for. A mistress is not a prostitute- well, usually! If you really love someone and they are involved with someone else and seem unhappy, just be their friend. When this marriage collapses you will be able to know that it was because it was meant to and not because he couldn't stay faithful. I was in love for years with the same guy, and it took time, but he is finally leaving his wife. Oddly enough, back when his wife wa just his girlfriend, she felt so threatened by me (and shouldn't have been) that she told him he couldn't speak to me anymore. Things like that backfire, girls. I sure if she had allowed myself to stay friends with him I'd of eventually befriended her too and I certainly wouldn't have allowed myself to fall for him.

    • profile image

      Anna 6 years ago

      I became involved with someone who was living with his girlfriend and their children. When our affair started, she was pregnant with their second child. He told me he loved her but always knew she wasn't "the one". He even confessed to having had cheated on her in the past. And yet, I continued to see him as I figured it was just a fling that would end soon enough. Well, a few months later we fell madly in love with one another and he moved out to pursue a relationship with me.

      That was over 2 years ago. Our relationship had been a struggle ever since. His ex continues trying to get him back while threatening to kill me on a regular basis for ruining her family.

      We had plans on getting married and even went to look at engagement rings. He told me all along I was "the one" and that I was the first woman he's ever met who made him want to get married or even believe in true love. I believed him. I felt it.

      Fast forward to the past 6 months and I slowly started realizing things weren't so perfect afterall. What was worse, I started feeling that although our relationship was out in the open, I wasn't as good enough as the mother of his children. Although he cheated on her, refused to marry her and ultimately left her - she would always be his children's mother and her feelings needed to be considered with every decision he made (he tried to convince me that she was hurt and upset and we needed to be more understanding of her feelings!!).

      Needless to say we broke up a couple of months ago. Some days I don't know who I am more upset with - him or myself for being stupid enough to think that someone who regularly cheats on their significant other is someone who has morals and values and knows about doing the right thing (not that I was any better in this situation). I can't go back and erase the past but for any ladies contemplating having an affair with someone who is married or with someone else, DON'T!!!!!! Even if he does leave, your foundation will be based on lies, secrets, mistrust and a lot of guilt. If its meant to be, he will find you once he gets his life in order - then you can truly have a new start. Looking back, I feel like an idiot. I do know he wasn't happy with his ex - instead of having balls and either committing to making it work with her or leaving on his own, he needed to find someone like me to hold his hand. Having me as a backup made it easier to finally leave a bad relationship and once everything was in order (separation agreement, custody of the kids etc), there was no need for me in his life anymore. I felt discarded like yesterday's trash - probably the same way his ex felt when he moved out and refused to tell her why.

    • profile image

      camie 6 years ago

      Freedom10.......... I agree with some of what you write, but a marriage does define you, you can't get away from it and maintaining an individual life will only pull the couple apart and weaken a marriage. You are a couple after all and doing things together and being with close friends who you both enjoy ceates a bond that helps to keep things fresh and interesting. HOWEVER, being able to take care of yourself (ie, a good career) and having a plan "just in case" makes a lot of sense, because

      nothing is 100%. That type of independence is a

      must,just knowing that you can survive without a man in your life and be succesful at it can actually make your future seem less scary in the event that something does go wrong.

    • profile image

      Freedom10 6 years ago

      Wives prefer to blame the other woman not their men because they want to to justify staying with a man who cheated. It's better to think he is innocent just tricked into an affair by an evil woman. There is an entire sex industry out there with married men as it's main customers. So whether it's a relationship or paid by the hour women should know almost all men have sex with other women from time to time. It's their nature. So let's not blame anyone here. Women should be truly independent, don't let anyone else have all the power over their happiness.Don't let a relationship or marriage define who you are, maintain you individual life as the same time. That way the damage will be less when it doesn't work out.

    • profile image

      Jay 6 years ago

      Come on, when a man wants to go he will go. Not that who is who is not a homewrecker, if he is asking you out and says they have problems, then why shouldn't you believe they have problems maybe they have reached a point where he just needs someone else and he cant take it anymore. Not that I encourage any of it but enough with the name calling, why not point fingers at the man instead, I mean who does not want to believe in love?

    • crystolite profile image

      Emma 6 years ago from Houston TX

      Quite funny but sounds real.I enjoyed this wonderful stuff.

    • profile image

      Stupidly in love 6 years ago

      So what happens when you fall in love he moves in with you and still wont divorce her?

    • profile image 6 years ago

      you want the old man you can have him. He cant get it up anyways. He wont leave because he's to broke. Id rather date a younger better looking guy.

    • profile image

      Regained concious 6 years ago

      I met this "1" a year back, we are in a different department, he came to me every evening, we have dinner, chat and went for movies. Until I found out that he is married with one kid. He pursuaded to start, i was stupid enough to have a relationship with "1", i know is wrong, so I decided to leave him, he kneel and said that love me. Given much thought, its hurt, better to have a short sharp pain rather than a long term guilt, fear and pain. If he did loves u, he would have leaves his wife. I know love is selfish but not through this way by hurting others, man are selfish too, if we are doing the same thing as he did, we are just as selfish as he is, why we have no self value on our self, our family love us don't hurt or humilate our self through this way.

    • profile image

      obsessiveangel 6 years ago

      This is the stark truth..something I need to read and remember again when I fantasise about "the one". I don't think there is "the one" for any of us out there, sadly. The universe doesn't work that way, I'm afraid, no more than it delivers what you want via some "law of attraction". Having said that, positive thinking does go a long way!

      Mostly, we just "love the one we're with" instead of the "one we want", we muddle along, along the path of least resistance, having affairs here and there when the opportunity presents itself. We "patch" up our existing relationships in some way.

      Men are NOT about upgrades if they can get away with it...that doesn't make sense. Not unless they ditch the wife for a new model. Upgrades are replacements, you upgrade your hard drive by replacing it or putting something new into it. Nor can you "insert" a better woman into another, like you can with software into a

      Men are about SUPPLEMENTATION...that is, add-ons..ya know, like computer peripheral devices!

      Oh, and if we get the "one we want", is the grass really greener, or is it greener, but it has a different set of weeds in it?

      Just thinking out aloud...

    • profile image

      lapine 6 years ago

      I truly feel for everyone who has ever loved and been hurt before. We as humans all just want love and acceptance and a lot of us are not able to think straight when faced with what we consider an opportunity for bliss. I am married and have been seeing my tutor for a few months now. We are both in our 30s, me being 6 years older. The first time I saw him I could tell that he was a gentle soul and I could see that he was hiding something behind his quiet demeanor. Over the course of 9 months we grew closer and closer to each other even finding out that we have so much in common in regard to life experiences. Eg we both have half brothers who are 10+ years older than us, both were crazy about tennis when we were kids and still are, both were obsessed with American sitcoms ( both of us are not from the US) both had celebrity idols while growing up who then married each other( the two celebrity idols married each other but consequently divorced) both went to Catholic school, both had a violent opposite sex parent, both have an older sibling who's a bit "strange" both of our mothers were our fathers second wives,both like a lot of the same music, both started our life in the US in the same little city and the moved to Los Angeles,both came to the US around the age of 14 for the first time for me and 15 for him( I think) I moved here permanantly at age 22 he at age 23, both are shy.... I could go on and on. Do I feel that he is my soul mate? Or rather twin soul? Absolutely!! We don't have much time together as he is on a pretty tight leash and controlled by his wife. We only see each other during my lessons twice a week. Whilst I am totally smitten I can see that he has obviously done things in the past to cause her concern. He has admitted to writing emails to a former classmate and things to that nature. He is passive very sweet but too passive. He was pressured into having a child who is about 2 and I know he will never leave his wife - his father and mother have had a miserable marriage and have stayed together. That has been his role model and he will likely do the same. He couldn't leave before the child and he won't leave with one. I am ending my marriage as we speak as it too has been turmoil ridden. Having this relationship has opened my eyes to the fact that this kind of love is out there. We have not had sex but have come close and we share a lot of hugging and kissing and tender caresses. When we are together its like no one else exists. But I also know that this is not real life - it's like one of the American movies or sitcoms that we both liked to watch when we were young - it's only a fantasy - and sadly I too am only a fantasy. As a former model I really feel that this guy sees me for more than the surface although he compliments me a lot which of course I love!! To be true to myself I will have to move on in the sense of changing this relationship to a friendship eventually. It fulfills both of us in ways that I believe are uplifting - I have hope of finding Mr Right and I know more of what it is that I want. For him it gives him the joy he is lacking and I think helps him stay in his marriage as a better father and husband knowing that he is beloved. I am not proud of the situation and I wish it had been different. All I can do now is use what I have learnt to better my own life and the life of others who I encounter. I hope he will do the same but I don't trust that he will as he does not have the introspection needed to learn from such events. In all honesty he will probably continue this kind of behavior throughout his marriage. He will always have a place in my heart for uplifting me when I felt so hopeless. However I will never make the same mistake again as it is unfair for all parties involved. What we can take from this is that true love is out there for the taking and when we open our hearts fully, arms open wide to embrace the world the right person will miraculously walk into our lives...

    • profile image

      slk2011 7 years ago

      I have been with a married man for 2 years now. When we started we both were married. I realized my marriage was completely over and ended it. That was a year ago. My mr. right still hasn't ended his. I have heard all the excuses why not. The I am not able to finacially is the biggest one. The couple of my friends that do know about us tell me over and over that he is just playing me. And even though he still wears his wedding rings and tells me he sleeps in another bedroom I still love him, still have the fairy tale dream about the soul mates happily ever after. My head knows I am stupid and some day it will end. My heart knows it will break that day.

    • profile image

      Ipad 7 years ago

      What if both of them are married...they didn't hide it.they got married to the person that they didn't they met each other and have alot in common. Do u think that these 2 people who are cheating with their husband/wife found the true love their been looking for? And being together for them is in time, when everything is ok, financially....

    • profile image

      truly10 7 years ago

      I've been dating a married man off and on for a year now. Everytime i break up with him seems like we always find ourselves back together. We are both mid twenties, his wife is 15 yrs his senior. He is really obsess with me, dont want me to date other men. He is one of the nicest person i know so i dont think he will even have the guts to leave his wife, she knows about me, but as said previously men would never admit to their wife they are cheating. I told her everything thats been going on, she thinks I'm the liar. She will never leave him; thats what she told me, and she is doing everyting to keep him. The new year is starting and one of my resolution is to pray that we resist each other; its really hard cause we see each other randomly every now and then and the emotional connection we have is so strong. I know he loves me cause he prove it and told me so all the time. Cant be the other woman any longer.

    • profile image

      Barbarella 7 years ago

      Having your husband cheat on you is quite possibly the worst feeling in the world. He confessed it to me and I can remember the exact moment, what the weather was like, where we were, his words, the admission, word for word. While I commend him for telling me, I never was able to look him and see him in the same light.

      He broke my heart.

      As for her, she had a boyfriend. It gave me great pleasure to know she had a boyfriend because my husband always had serious trust issues. So I knew he would never trust her if it culminated into something.

      Anyway, we are getting divorced.

      For the mistresses, please think long and hard about what you are doing. For the husbands, don't cheat on your wives. If you want out, just go. But hearing your spouse, taht same person whoyou said vows with in front of so many people, family, friends, your parents, tellyou they had sex with someone else is truly like sticking a syringe full of poison in someone's heart.

      For me, it stuck like a tattoo on my heart that I never wanted and will never be able to get rid of.

      The worst part is I never saw it coming. I never had any reason to doubt him.

    • profile image

      grammarq 7 years ago

      Um...I can't take this seriously much less even finish reading this! YOU ARE = YOU'RE not YOUR. Please learn to spell.

    • profile image

      katbailey 7 years ago

      What about the ones that aren't married but with other people and still cheat, or are getting married and cheat or are playing several different women at the same time?

    • profile image

      Member of the Club 7 years ago

      I have always heard that "they never leave their wives", and now I am starting to believe it.

      Eight months of being the other woman leaves me feeling like an uppaid prostitute. I should have a gold medal for all the bedroom olympics we've been through. Yes, I had my fun too, but I couldn't help but fall in love.

      He says he's been uphappily married for the last 10 of 20 years. How foolish I am to think he'd leave now. It was fun while it lasted. Ive been pretty lonely since my own divorce more than 15 years ago. In some odd way, my affair gives me hope that we can still find true love after 40.

    • profile image

      katbailey 7 years ago

      I read some of your posts and I feel very bad that your husbands cheated. I can say that I would never knowling date or get involved with a married man Ever. I did have a similar situtaion but he was separated. I met him and knew that he was still married although he had lived in his own home for 1 year and the divorce was in place. We dated, I moved in and mind you, changed jobs and moved to a different state. He worked out of town so about 1 month after I moved in he had to leave and to be honest that is when I should have left. The phone calls stopped, the texts stopped and the strangeness began. He I guess decided in his head that I was not for him but failed to tell me so all the while I'm living with him and engaged his is begging his X not to get divorced, trying to hook up with other women while working out of town and then lying to me in the interm. I have to say I put up with some of the fanatics for 1 1/2 years due to circumstance but finally got out. He is one that will never change, he got his divorce while we were together, but I don't think he will ever settle down. He likes the thrill of the chase and once he has you he gets bored and looks else where. I know this is not on the topic you are discussing but in a way it is. This man and I are friends and in our frienship I can see what he is doing and has done to the new women in his life. He carrys on long distance chat love releationships with one, dates and has sex with another professing his love to both and neither know the other exists. He goes from one relationship to the next never allowing any healing time almost as if he is dependant on women to make him whole... until he get's his so called self together he will continue to cheat and do the things he does. I feel sorry for the next girl and would hope that she doesn't change her life, move to another state. I was told in the beginning, You are like no other, I can tell you anything, I would never cheat, you complete me, BLA. BLA BLA.... I will know better next time that's for sure.

    • profile image

      maggie 7 years ago

      Hi, wanted to chime in on the topic. I fell for a married man who was on the verge of seperation. When he met me he did separate from his wife. He had no kids, because she was not able to. After 6 months of seperation she came back looking for him and he took her back. We continued to see each other after he got back with her for 3 years. He met my family and everything. He wanted to marry me. The reason he got back with her was because his wife became ill and he felt sorry for her. Anyway, I finally realized he wasn't ever going to leave. I wasted 3 years of my life waiting. I finally got the courage to leave. Its been 2 years since the break, and to be honest I still miss him. I honestly still feel we were soul mates. Like I will never love some one like I loved him. Though he said the same things to me that I was his soulmate,that he had never experienced this level love with anyone else, I guess it wasn't enough to leave his wife. Last I heard, he was taking care of his ill wife. Just wanted to vent. Im dating again and I met someone, and though he is a great guy, I just dont see him or any of the others measuring up to my only true love. I guess, my question would be do we ever forget a true love? I cant shake off that feeling that he will always hold a special place in my heart, but Im willing to find someone that can come in close second.

    • profile image

      cocogirly 7 years ago

      This whole thing is killing me. I fell for a guy I met two months ago, not knowing if he was married or not. He's my landlord, unfortunately. He didn't wear a ring, so I figured he was divorced. I had just left a very unhappy relationship, and he paid attention to me, took care of things for me, and made me feel special. He made a move after seeing my ex come over and act like a stalker, and I was so impressed that he stood up for me and was concerned for my feelings. Late that night, I asked if he was still with his wife (I knew he had grown kids.) He explained that they'd been separated for 2 years, lived in different states, etc. He has blamed the lack of a divorce on her dad's Alzheimer's, her rheumatoid arthritis, and now, on some financial investigations they are going through. He has seemed so believeable, and is very doting most of the time. He says everything a woman wants to hear, and the sex is great (although that's much more important to him than me, of course.) But last night he claimed his lawyers are advising against a divorce for the time being because of the investigations and the fact that if his wife is pissed she'll take him for everything he is worth. I wanted to believe his sweet words and explanations, but after reading this I feel like a chump. He is totally playing me for a fool and I am afraid that after I sleep tonight, some sweet text will come in and he's going to have me where he wants me again. I am so sorry for all of the wives out there who have been cheated on. PPlease know that sometimes the mistress doesn't have all of the info.

    • profile image

      jayderbug 7 years ago

      Leann, I am in the exact same type of situation, he was married when I met him 33 years ago but by the time I found out I was crazy in love with him. I never stopped loving the man I always thought he was. He found me after 33 years and professed his love to me, he said he always regreted not being with me yet he is still married to the same person. How stupid am I that I still fell for the empty promises, My blood pressure is sky high and I am having heart palputations because I know I have to let go and it is killing me. The logical side of me says good riddance, that if I was so special to him he would have moved heaven and earth to be with me. The emotional side of me, my heart and soul feel like we have always had a connection, he always knew and understood me when no one else did. I am having a really rough time because I thought I was smarter than this, I don't like the realization that I have allowed him to mess up my life as I have. It's time to take a good hard look at myself and find out why I am so insecure as to fall for this. It is not because I wanted or needed a man in my life, it is something about this man and how I feel when I am with him.

    • profile image

      Daphne240 7 years ago

      Pen n pad, you forgot one reason:

      She's THE ONE WHO will iron his clothes, cook his food and clean up the house while he has fun. Only one kind of woman deserves a cheating jerk: whoever thinks marriage is for life. Let her take the prize!

    • profile image

      candid 7 years ago

      Hey Leann,

      It's great that you know the truth and that has to count for something. However, I beleive that you should move on with your life. The man that you loved when you were younger now has 2 women in his life and I'm very sure that he still loves his current wife. (People can love more than one person) Has he mentioned any plans for his future with you? Has he even hinted at the idea that the 2 of you should get together? I honestly feel for you, this is not an easy situation. I have no experience but I keep putting myself in your place and it is very hard, all kinds of things run through my mind... should I, maybe, no, yes.... I come up with no. I would just be there for the time being, no plans, no strings etc. and enjoy the fact that the 2 of you can be friends.

      Another reason that I don't think it's the right time is the fact that you mentioned he has been ill. It seems like now is not the right time to pursue anything with him except a friendship. If it's meant to be, it'll all fall in to place, naturally and honestly. I do beleive that if things were to happen that you would want it to be under the best of circumstances so that you could all have peace in your lives and acceptance (don't forget it has children that play heavily into this). Good luck

    • profile image

      respectforall 7 years ago

      BTW, Leann, I am 45 and it's never too late to find true love with an available man. I know, in my heart, I will. All the best to you :o)

    • profile image

      respectforall 7 years ago

      Leann, please don't get involved. IF he is truly unhappy, he will leave, then you could be together. I speak from experience. I honestly believed the man I was seeing cared for me enough to leave and be with me. He is leaving, the divorce is going through, but I could not do it any more. It's wrong. I was wrong. It's been 15 months since we got together and after nearly 12 months of seeing him, I met someone else, single. That didn't work out, but I've not been involved with the married man since. But I am happy, because what I did was wrong and I am the single, free one, he is still not. I am free to meet other, single, men. In fact, I'm going on a date this weekend! Respect yourself, respect others and happiness will be your reward. Never again will I get involved with a married man, even though his marriage was 'dead in the water' and he was going to split from her. I could not/would not hang around any longer. Like I said, you must see if he leaves first and proves his desire to be with you. Hope it works out!

    • profile image

      Leann 7 years ago

      Recently a man I dated when I was 17-19 found me on facebook. He married another woman who looks just like me two weeks after I'd told him I believed I was pregnant with his child. Alone and with no support I regretably aborted it. He tells me now that for all these 25 years he's been married that he's loved me and searched for me and that he's never been so deeply touched by any human being in all of his life as he's been by me. That I was the love of his life, and that he never stopped loving me and that that's been his dark secret that he's been keeping with him along with all of his guilt and regret. He feels and wishes that he'd of married me and of raised our child instead. What a shock to of heard this! But he is still married and has two kids that are nearly grown and in college. We live on opposite ends of the country. He is in his 50's and has suffered much guilt carrying all of this with him and is so grateful to of found me to apologise and to tell me how he feels. Should he continue to stay with his wife if he feels I am his soul mate? I am extremely drawn to him too again and am trying to resist the temptation to have an affair or more. We have not done anything yet. I am a single mom and am free to date who I please. I'm even ok with being the mistress as it is easier in a way. But in a case like this should he stay with his family just because he doesn't want to hurt them, meanwhile he will continue to hurt himself until he dies because he is not experiencing the kind of true love he had with me, that he knows exists and is attainable. He is living a lie and only he knows it. I can't believe how incredibly drawn I am to this man and how I cannot wait to hear from him (and ditto for him). Everyday we are constantly in each others thoughts. I could move across the country to where he is , but of course many of you will say that I should stay away. He is uncertain of what to do with all of these feelings that he has for 25 years for me. He doesn't know how to get rid of them. On the other hand he doesn't want to hurt his family and he believes that it would if they knew how he felt about me. So I would love some advice from some of you seasoned professionals. By the way he is also an important person in a position in the public eye in his town so, I am even more so his deep dark secret? What to do??? Yes I realize he may never leave his wife and security. But at the moment she is the bread winner as he is recovering from a long near death illness and an operation. I am 44. Neither of us may ever have a chance at true love if we deny ourselves this opportunity. For how long do we deny ourselves what we may need in order to keep others happy and unhurt? He was my first love too. Give me some advice please. thanks, leann

    • profile image

      is going to hell, i think 7 years ago

      Thanks everybody for writing, it all helps to hear and see both sides to every story.

      I was so conflicted before, but now that its over I think I see reason. A friend thing turned into a flirty thing turned into an intimate 1 year fling thing.

      The only weird thing is: we never had sex???

      I'm still confused at the time I thought I wasn't doing anything wrong, now I can see what a horrible roll I played!

      Taking ten steps back makes all the deference!

    • profile image

      laurie34 7 years ago


    • profile image

      blu49 7 years ago


      Are you the wife or the other woman? How long has this been going on?

      Obviously we don't know the whole situation, but whatever

      it is, I think I would move on. Why would you put yourself through the humiliation and pain day in and day out? He or she seems content with that other person and wants to stay with them, that seems to be your answer. good luck

    • profile image

      enjoy626 7 years ago

      I need some serious help I do everything in my power to break then up and he will never leave her or she will never leave him why????

    • profile image

      latishia55 7 years ago


    • profile image

      queenie 7 years ago

      ok, this is so sad. Reading all these posts makes me realize how fragile relationships are and how one person can totally screw up someone elses life with lies and deception.

      To all the married men/women, if you've got a good wife/husband stay true to them. Think things over and if the marriage needs a little help to make it work, stick with it and try. What's bad today, can be great tomorrow. If it's truly hell being together then be honest with them and leave without cheating. Cheating on someone is just plain cruel.

      To the other woman/other man, don't encourage someone to be untrue to their spouse. Look for a single person to fulfill your needs,there are a lot of divorced men and women out there who are searching for a new soul mate and have moved on from their marriages without you being the cause. Those are your targets! Don't play games with peoples lives, we all only live once! The world would be a better place if people thought of others feelings and families!

    • profile image

      The Wife 7 years ago

      To: I am the other woman,

      Did you not read the 6 reasons why he won't leave his wife ? Just asking.

      I started the divorce as of Friday and my husband drove 5 hours home only to beg and plead for me not to go through it. He broke up with the other woman via text message....(loser status in my book) just to prove to me that he was done and would break all ties with her to save our marriage.

      Bottom line, it is not about the Other Woman.

      I am married to my husband....not her !!!

      He ended the relationship the minute he cheated.

      Trust will always be an issue and when he tires of her...he will move on to someone new. So...if you really want a relationship. Choose a single guy that is not married. Women that seek married men have issues of their own, some are gold-diggers,some just want to be pampered,gifts, dinners, trips, fancy hotels , low self esteem, and some just like the competition to see who will win him over, it doesn't become about the man,some women are so aggressive and very needy !

      As women...we need to respect one another.

      After me telling the other woman the truth....she could not handle it and continued in the relationship as if I did not exist.

      I am sure she got the point when my husband broke up with her. It was just a matter of time.

      However, it was too LATE.

      Too much damage has been done and life will go on.

      I feel sorry for my husbands other woman because she put her heart into the relationship only to be dumped via text message. Not only that....he would never speak her name . So, we called her"#3"....she was reduced to a number. This was his 3 rd affair..that is why we call her sad is should wonder what you will be called and if you can live with that...keep on doing what you are doing. I would run if I were you...have some self respect for yourself and a single guy will find you very attractive.

      One last husband said that women that seek married men are way too easy...there is no chase and the game is over before you know it because there is no challenge. Part of the thrill of an affair is the challenge and the secret of the affair. Once you want to be the wife or the relationship gets to emotional/serious...he will leave...because he already has a are just the Other woman.

      If he has not introduced you to his family, his friends, are a secret behind closed doors~!

      You only have a 25% chance of having a relationship that started from an affair...the odds are totally against you.

    • profile image

      I AM the other woman 7 years ago

      I have been "seeing/talking" to a married man for about 8 months now. I know in my heart that it is wrong, but we've never even discussed him leaving his wife. I truly don't expect him to and if he did and we got together I would worry about him doing the same thing to me. The thing I hate the most is knowing that he has 2 children. I wish I could be with him, don't get me wrong. I'm not sure if I "love" him or just love the thrill of it all....It's so conspicuous. So many different adreniline rushes. We went and got matching sleeves...mine is half sleeves and his is are 3 quarter sleeves.(i'm talking about tattoos if you didnn't know)...So that must count for something? But as sad as it makes me to have to say I know it is foolish for me to even begin to think he would leave her. The only thing he has ever really said about her is that they got married because she got pregnant. So that tells me right off the bat that he isn't going to leave. Oh well. I fell into this situation, I will play things by ear.

    • profile image

      CJ 7 years ago

      Men do leave. Just has to be unhappy "enough". My college boyfriend contacted me a little over a year ago. He was unhappy in his marriage and I was miserable (planning to leave mine). We will be getting married 9/4/10.

      Love finds a way :)

    • profile image

      you never know 7 years ago

      Dear The Wife.... you sound like you've got your act together, that's so great! I'm sure it hasn't been easy, but at least you are moving on, which is more than

      I can say for your husband! I feel so bad for him... NOT! He learned the hard way and I admire you for respecting yourself enough to get rid of him and start another chapter in your life. I thought a lot about what you wrote last night and I decided to be vigilant with my observations. We have always had a relationship where we don't have to check in with each other everytime we do something. So I realized that he could cheat right here at home, that he doesn't need to be miles away to do something. We have a really good relationship and I have always "worked" at our marriage, never wanting to slip up and give "the other woman" any reason to jump in. I've covered every base from being supportive to being very open minded in the bedroom! Hopefully he realizes that it's much greener at home. :) I do talk to my husband often about how I'm scared that our time a part from each other will eventually take a toll on our marriage and we do have friends (with husbands who travel a lot) who have divorced and I mention that too when we talk. So he knows where I stand and he knows how much I love him and like you wrote, "they will NEVER admit that they are having an affair." so asking would be worthless at this point. Thanks for your feedback and again the best of luck to you and your children. I hope that everything goes smoothly for you! You deserve so much better, you ARE the winner and he IS the loser!!!!

    • profile image

      The Wife 7 years ago

      Dear You Never Know~~So sorry to hear that.

      I have to say...if you feel it already..the chance of it already happening is very HIGH. We have that feeling for a reason. I too am a believer and I prayed until I was blue in the face only to find the truth. The truth hurts very very much. I also believe that all happens for a reason. I know when we are not doing what we are called to do....HE lets us know by using the things that take our attention away from HIM.

      Mid Life Crisis happens to many men.

      My husband calls me 4-6 times a day.

      He still texts me and emails me.

      I give him very little of my time and when I do. He is so loving and kind. I keep my distance and I do my own thing. He will NEVER be my everything. Our relationship will NEVER be the same either.

      We are still friends . My daughter speaks to my husband but my son has not spoken to my husband since Father's Day on June 20th of this year. He is taking the affairs very hard and has no respect for his father.

      When a man changes his appearance, his clothing, tanning, etc. they are trying to impress someone. Men will find someone to keep them company if you are not there. My husband told me that the the lady I spoke to still calls and they have a friendship. I just wish him luck....I gave him 22 yrs. of marriage, 2 wonderful children and we dated for 5 yrs. before we got married.

      I deserve so much better and I know that GOD has better in store for me.

      I used to think that men were whores when they worked out of town and my husband tells me that even with his wedding ring on...women are very aggressive and give him their phone numbers...they don't care ~!! As long as a man has a job and is willing to pamper them here and there...they don't care about the wife and kids...

      The woman I spoke with is 35 never married and never had children... Three weeks dear husband says how selfish she is. He cannot believe how into herself she is all about her and not him.

      Serves him right ~!!LOL

      I just laugh and I am still moving forward with my life.

      I have been putting all the finances in place and planning out the future.

      After realizing he did this with 3 women in such a short period of time. He does not deserve me ~! I often hear...if you do it once you can move forward but to do it 3 times so quickly....= 3 strikes and you are OUT~!

      Men do this because of a personal lack in themselves.I have read my many doctors that the 3 main reasons men cheat are 1) low self esteem 2) fear 3) unhappiness/ the signs of a mid life crisis.

      I am not innocent in all this....I take ownership of my faults. My husband had the choice to have the affairs or not and he chose to have them and that....I WILL NEVER OWN ~!!! Pray and talk to your husband as open as possible. If you cannot be open in person, write him a letter of all that you are feeling. I will say this....they will NEVER admit they are having an affair...unless like speak to the mistress in person ~! She did say she was sorry to me 3 times. But knowing she is still calling my husband....after I told her the truth....I have no respect for either.

      Follow your heart and find the truth...even if it hurts...The Truth Will Set YOU FREE~~!

      I sleep well at night~~every single night~~! My husband still does not want a divorce...but I am the one that has the final say so~~~ GAME OVER >>>>>I WON~~!

    • profile image

      you never know 7 years ago

      to THE WIFE.... I am so sorry for what your family has gone through. What you have described is my biggest fear. My husband works away from home for months at a time and I'm so afraid that he will (or has) made some female connections during these trips. I pray to God all the time that if he is cheating, to please slap me in the face with proof and then I will get on with my life by myself. He too will have lost a wonderful, supportive family and I would never take him back... never. He does know that,so hopefully that would make him think twice. During the last 3 months that he was away from home, he lost a lot of weight and has continued to lose weight and has been obsessed with being in shape. He will be leaving in a couple of months for another job (in a different location) and this time he may be gone for 8-12 months. I don't think I can take his traveling anymore, this has only been in his job description for the last year, before that he was always home. I'm very confused! We've been married 25 years. Can a man go for months at a time without sex? There is so much time that he's alone/away from home and I have no way of ever knowing what he's doing ! "The Wife"... good luck to you and I totally agree with your last paragraph, it's something that I have said to my husband before and to many of my friends.

    • profile image

      THE Wife~! 7 years ago

      I just found out my husband of 22 years has had 3 affairs. All in a 3 month period of time.

      All I wanted was the truth....Things started to change months ago...Mid-Life-Crisis...going to the gym, tanning, shaving body hair, secret trips to his truck to check his messages, huge red flags...I asked and asked and it was always the same answer..NO..NO...Nobody...If I was not happy with you, I would leave. He got transferred to work in LA (4hrs. away from home) and all hell broke loose. He started turning his phone off by 8pm and I could never reach him...hmmm

      Then it happened. I called his hotel and asked for his room and the other woman answered the phone. I told her the truth, that he was home Friday, Sat and Sunday with me. I asked if she knew that and she said NO ! After telling her the truth....she still calls him and questioned why I would call MY Husband's room...the nerve..all she went by was lies...he told her he was separated and she believed that. I told him to leave me along and go to HER...Miss No name....she would not give me a name ~!! Miss Ayer's Hotel in Seal Beach CA on Sunday night June 20th 2010...I called on Monday morning!

      Just had that feeling in my gutt!

      Well, he still calls me, texts me, emails me, and continues to drop by to see me at any event we have with no notice wearing his wedding ring !!! What a joke!!

      So, I am still the head bz in charge...I get the direct deposit, I drive the 750Li BMW, and he continues to tell me he does not want a divorce....Little does he know I already have the ball rolling~~! He will not leave me...and he will not leave the other women as there are 3 of them...and I am DONE~! Too much drama for this mama.

      My kids are 18 and 21 and they are on my side...he lost a wonderful wife & family...His loss...I hope they were all worth it ~!

      Men, if you want out...get out and then do your thing...please don't do all thatwhile still in a marriage and hurt the entire family because of your selfish mid-life crisis~~!

    • profile image

      eveddar 7 years ago

      I agree with some of what has been said. But no, if things are bad enough your husband or wife will leave.

      1) The money I spend on Child support is huge! but being in total control of my finances I have left after that has made it much easier to achieve my financial goals as a provider for my children. I recommend getting separated for a year or more, this will allow time to either reconcile or at least show the judge you are a good father and want to provide for them. The court system is after the best interest of the kids not mom or dad.Don't take any attorney's advice as fact, doubt and research everything they tell you.

      2)Any woman or man willing to constantly take someone back is very unattractive to people with real values. And they need to place some more value on themselves. If you don't place value on yourself others wont either. Forgiveness is one thing, being a doormat is another.

      3) Don't think because you have kids or both have large families your partner partner will always choose to stay. It is disrespectful and unloving to expect someone to stay for any reason other than you love and provide for their needs and vice versa. Of course these things help glue the marriage together, but come on - kids grow up and leave the house, guess who your left with. Hopefully the person you worked hard with to get through it all good and bad.

      I stayed for over 11 years for my kids and tried everything I could. It turned me into a bitter man and frustrated father. Now I am in love- happy- NOT BROKE- and best of all a better father with children who agree.

      Don't give up something you truly want for something you want at the moment. So if you cant stay with someone - separate - let some time pass but be respectful and faithful- if you still feel the same after that, move on and live!

    • profile image

      boricua queen 7 years ago

      I was the other woman sad thing is i never ever thought I would be. I guess now i see it like a fatal attraction but i the time i felt so in love i guess i was blind. My friends all told me that i had never acted like that before and im usually the one who woulda told my girls how stupid they were to be in that situation. We spent 6 great months i mean its like what didn't we do together we even traveled i mean we were eachothers ride or dies. During this time his wife would call me and tell me to leave him alone. SHe even asked him what i had that she didn't. They both had a baby together and I thought in my heart i really wasn't doing anything wrong. Well turns out I got pregnant and he anted to keep it. I didn't want the baby because i was scared i would end up being a single mom who would be humiliated in public. However i thought about how much I loved him and decided to keep the baby. As soon as i tld him i was going to keep it he changed became such a cold person with me and really hurt me. So i terminated the pregnancy. we have mutual friends and now I find out his wife is expecting a baby and im like what a loser. Our baby woulda been born this month nd it still bothers me. Sad to say but im still in love with him Ive become an angry person and truly feel that Ill never have what I had with him but in actuality im the wrong one. I apologized to his wife and she thinks im a hoe b and cant blame her but she would die if she new about my pregnancy i never told her. DONT EVER MESS WITH SOMEONE WHOSE married especially when u knw ur beautiful and deserve the best!! Now i need to pick myself up and move forward although he is still in the bak of my mind even after 6mths its really sad. I thought he loved me but he loved his wife in the end.

    • profile image

      Inlove 7 years ago

      I have a one year old with a former married man. We saw each other for two years before I got pregnant and that of course is when our affair surfaced. He loves me very much and is divorced mow and we are together. Not married yet but that is my choice bc I want to make sure we will last and I'm only 23 while he is 38. He has two other children and shares custody with the ex. I love him with all I have and his other children adore. I wouldn't recommend having an affair bc we hurt a lot of ppl. But I think if it's who u are meant to be with it will work it's way out. I know he would have gotten divorced withbor without the affair. We are best friends and I am so happy.

    • RecoverToday profile image

      RecoverToday 7 years ago from United States

      This is all so true. Painful to hear, but true.

    • profile image

      Aimee 7 years ago

      I completely agree with all of the 6 reasons why a man never leaves his wife and reading this has made me think. I met a bloke last year, he was everything Id wanted in a man and I honestly believed he had feelings for me. He was meant to leave after Christmas but then christmas came and went and he was still there. U learn from your mistakes and Id never get into that situation ever again. End of the day if a man loves you he will do all he has to, in order to be with you. Some men will leave, but very few and its not worth the heartache!!! Suprisingly in my situation we wasn't having sex!

    • profile image

      bgrl 7 years ago

      men do leave, my boyfriend was married for twenty years n we been together off n on for 10. we had a child during the time he was married n hes now i the process of being divorced u cant help who you fall in love with i had tried many times to leave this situation but we always found eachother we've been together along time. point is men do leave their wifes... depending on the situation!!!!!