Top Ten Lies All Men Tell Their Girlfriends
"Women may be able to fake ὄrgasms, but men can fake whole relationships." - Sharon Stone (1958) American actress and film producer
WARNING: This hub might make you angry. Confused and troubled. Doubtful, distraught and possibly hurt… most especially, if you are a woman, or should I say, if you're a girlfriend.
So, if you know you are not ready to experience any of those emotions, then I will advise you stop reading any further.
But if you feel like you can continue, then don’t say you’ve not been warned, okay?
Good and fine.
Alright. With that out of the way now, can we continue please?
You see, when the idea to write this hub first struck me, I figured the title will be something like Ten Lies I Tell My Girlfriends but then my mischievous mind got the better of me and then I was like: Why just make it something about you? Why not tune it up a little by saying something like Ten Lies Some Men Tell Their Girlfriends?
Alright. That sounded cool to me. At first.
Not so cool.
'Cause I wasn’t that satisfied—yet.
We really need to scare some girls out there by blowing things up right now. We need to play with their emotions. Let’s put some doubtful thoughts in their minds. Let’s get them confused and maybe, cause some problems for some men in the process, right?
Yeah right, like all mischief makers know, controversy is good so let’s just stir things up on the internet. I did it before when I penned Mind Games Men Play on Women. So why not do it again? It will be great, or don’t you think so?
So that’s exactly how we got here: Top Ten Lies All Men Tell Their Girlfriends!
Ha ha ha…
Alright, so you want to know those lies he could be telling you?
Now, if you're not stronghearted, I’m warning you for the very last time, please just step back now. Trust me, you won’t like what you are going to hear.
Wait a minute… you are still here?
Alright, don’t say you weren’t warned.
Here it comes.
I love you
Baby, are you surprised to hear this?
Don’t be. It is the truth. In fact, one of the commonest lies told in most relationships is just this.
He knows this is exactly what you want to hear.
They say the easiest way to deceive people is to tell them what they want to hear.
If you think I’m lying, next time he says I love you to you, just pause for a moment and ask him what he really means by that.
I bet you, you will be seriously surprised—and so shocked too, probably—by his response!
You’re the best
Again, tell them what you know they want to hear.
When he tells you this, 9 out of 10, it stops you from thinking clearly or correctly.
He’s banking on that small moment to recreate a great good feeling inside you.
It works all the time.
But it is a lie.
You are not the best.
Again, if you think I don’t know what I’m saying, again pause and ask him this: best in what?
And then watch that blank look appear on his face.
You’re the only one
Please don’t make me laugh.
You should know that this is just one of those ‘sweet moments’ sayings.
It doesn’t really mean anything to me.
I can’t even remember why I said it.
I just happen to know its soothing effects on her. I just happen to know it makes her feel so special. Or maybe it doesn’t but she wants me to think it does so that I will continue saying those words, who knows?
Not that I care anyway.
I just go ahead and mouth it off.
But you're not the only one.
I don’t have the money for this… or for that
Well, unless you were born yesterday, you will always know that when there’s a will, there’s a way. In other words, if he had wanted to do it, he will definitely (find a way to) do it and get you the money you said you needed.
But he doesn’t.
In fact, he’s even banking on your understanding that the economy is quite tough, business has not been so good, salaries have not been paid, plus who doesn’t know that earning money has never been that easy because money does not grow on trees.
He knows you have always been a very wise and understanding girlfriend, which might explain why you’re still with him.
So he just goes ahead and tells that same sweet lie—once more.
But you wouldn’t know this.
I love your tastes
Truth is, I don’t. And I never will. Your tastes are so bland—to me. Even your ideas too. They are so wacky at times.
Haven’t you noticed how I almost always drift to sleep anytime we are watching those very stupid girly movies of yours?
Well, I guess you wouldn’t notice anyway because you are always so carried away.
Really, I wonder what makes you think I will be interested in listening to you yak on and on, on what you and your friends have been up to.
I am not really a killjoy.
Which is why I just simply play along.
Which is why I sometimes ask of your opinion.
Even though, I’m never really goin’ to act upon it.
Sorry dear. I know this might faze you. But if I were to tell you the gospel truth, I’d rather you just keep your tastes—and your ideas—to yourself.
I love your company
Did I really say that?!
Believe that; you’ll believe anything!
Truth is, I don’t.
The only time I might truly like and totally enjoy your company is when I’m in the mood… youknowwhamsayin’?
Any other time, I’d rather we strictly keep it a mind-your-own-business affair.
Don’t blame me.
It is not your fault that you will never understand me; like what I like; or even follow my lead all the time.
I don’t even want you to.
It’s such a hard work—for you—and for me too.
You’re so smart
Alright. Okay. Define smart.
Yes, go ahead right now and define what being smart really means.
You see, you don’t even know what it means.
Are you smart?
You see, you are even thinking about it.
Which means you don’t even know what it means…
Anyway, never mind.
The thing is; most men want their women to be smart. And the women already know this. So when the man tells her she’s smart, it’s like a powerful validation glorious victory for her!
But it’s a trick. A very powerful trick that can break any woman down and make her weak in the knees!
And I believe you know what that means, huh?
But in reality...
Truth is, you are never ever going to be as smart as I want you to be.
But I just play along and tell you that you are so that you will never have any reason to actually think about what being smart really means.
You’ll make a good mother
This statement is only directed to you because I know that it triggers your maternal instincts.
And your maternal instincts makes you think you are as good as you think I should think you are.
But truth is; you might actually make a good mother.
But the real question remains: good mother to whom?
My own kids…?
You must be very high on something.
Well… what else can I say? Who knows... it's a possibility... but for now...um...
Time will always tell, anyway…
Ha ha ha!
The Difference Between Men And Women Explained
Your past doesn’t matter
If you believe this, then you are not even mature enough to be in a relationship.
Who ever told you your past doesn’t matter?
Baby girl, it matters a lot to me.
Do you know how many times I have asked around about issues concerning your past?
Do you think I am telling you the gospel truth when I tell you I’m so comfortable with those calls you are getting at odd hours?
Do you really believe me when I say that you can still keep all your friends?
Believe me; I have not only researched you. I have also gone a long distance to research your friends too.
Don’t blame me.
Tell me who your friends are and I will tell you who you are!
It’s as simple as that.
So there you have it.
I know I said ten but nine out of ten is still pretty much a very good score, right?
Truth is, I would have loved to add something like ‘I will marry you’ as the tenth lie but then like all sensible men know, that type of lie is usually very hard to get away with because of its implications and capacity of changing everything!
So most sensible guys would rather not say it.
But mind you, that doesn't mean it's not on the cards though.
Now guys, get ready for the impending backlash from your girlfriends that might follow this revelations but then, like I will always tell you guys, backlash or not, never be afraid to lie to your girlfriend.
In fact, try as much to become a master in it.
Of course, women love to be lied to, anyway!
Believe it or not, in some cases—like a sick fun to them or something—women… alright, some women even like it when they know you are actually lying but they like you to continue fooling yourself thinking you’re fooling them.
Don’t ever think you are too smart to be getting away with all those your lies or that these women are fools for allowing you lie to them almost all the time because they are not. Chances are, they just want to see how you will climb out of the deep hole you’re obviously digging for yourself by lying to them.
But in general, women like to imagine. Women love to theorize. Women love drama. Women like the fantasy. I guess; it's like your lies do trigger a part of their brain which excites them in a way a man couldn’t possibly understand or imagine.
So, more lies please!