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Computer Love Online Dating Perils

Updated on June 26, 2015

Online Dating Challenges

The things we can’t say.

Example 1: If your idea of communication consists of the following written responses, please do not reply to my profile.

“I want 2 c u 4real 2nite.” NO

Example 2: If you have “some college” or “high school” then a profile of a professional with a masters or doctorate degree might not be the most compatible match for you. NO

Example 3: You have 3-4 kids and respond to the profile of someone who does not have children. NO

Example 4: If you look like Rick Ross, 2 Chains, and/or dress from rappers are us you may not want to respond to the profile of the professional doctoral candidate. Your sports bars and hole in the walls does not equate to dinner at STK. Let’s all stay in our lane.

Example 5: 55 pictures of someone profiling and acting cool with shades on in front of their vehicle or celebrities. The message is received that you are egotistical and Narcissistic. Obviously there is not room for anyone else in your life because you are totally in love with yourself. NO

Example 6: Men who do not respond or check out your profile yet if they discovered you viewed their profile suddenly they are full of conversation and dialogue. Why didn’t they respond to the profile earlier?

Example 7: Men. I’m sorry to say this but the suggestion for meetups need to be appropriate for the quality of woman you are attempting to get to know. While some people are comfortable meeting for coffee, that’s cool. If you are doing lunch or dinner you have to come correct. While I understand you do not want to spend top dollar on random people you don’t know and you are not sure if that person is worthy of “extra effort” -I understand. I challenge daters to realize that it would be in your best benefit to scout out some cool lunch or dinner spots that are different. Not every woman is comfortable lowering their standards to meet up with you. Eclectic spots, parks, ceramics studios, Thai/Mexican spots are also fun places to meet. Let me be clear, if a woman is used to paying and encountering certain atmospheres, then your suggestions to lower her realm of operation is less than satisfying.

Example 8: Chest photos. Do I need to say anything else about what you are “throwing” out there? Why don’t you just put your profile on a booty call or hook up site because that type of image on a dating website is a turn off for anyone decent.

Computer Love

Computer Love


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    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 2 years ago

      It pays to have a good sense of humor when scrolling through profiles!

      One of the classes I teach has to do with online dating. I show them examples of photos they want to avoid posting as profile photos.

      From a guy's point of view we see a lot of profile photos of women standing in front of their bathroom mirror holding their cell phone, cleavage shots, or the side body profile shot designed to emphasize their rear end. There is also the overhead "satellite" shot where they are looking up in an effort to hide their body size. One woman's profile photo was her feet!

      As you noted the image one puts out there sends a message to would be daters. I believe sometimes people click on an image profile that seemed unclear when they were scrolling or they read something on the profile that rules a person out for them.

      Unfortunately the dating sites like to send notifications out to those you viewed. Now they know you clicked on them so they feel it's okay to reach out to you! Never mind you may have ruled them out! LOL!

      In other instances there are people who want people to "approach them" so they do what I call "fishing". They click on various profiles, send "flirts", or animated icon faces with scripted taglines to see someone "bites". It's a cowardly approach to meeting people.

      Anyone who can't string together a couple coherent sentences or a paragraph of introduction is probably a waste of your time.

      As for meeting people I believe it's best to have some form of evaluation process. Much like a company looking to fill a position. Not everyone who sends in a resume gets a phone interview, and not everyone who gets a phone interview gets a face to face interview. Be selective!

      As for that first "getting to know you" face to face meeting anything above a fast food restaurant should be fine. It could even be a picnic in the park or strolling through festival or even you've learned of one of their favorite pastimes ie visiting museums is fine.

      When I was doing online dating I always chose to have lunch at some place like TGIF or Red Robin. It's foolish to brake the bank on someone you barely know. The initial goal is to find out if you have chemistry in person.