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Dating Tips for Women Over 40

Updated on May 18, 2015

Online dating - is it safe?

If you've never dated online, it is a good idea to check out reputable sites. Finding these may involve spending hours on the internet and doing your due diligence research. Testimonials you find on the site are probably not the best way to go as they are geared to getting you interested so you sign up as a member. The best way might be to find out whether any real person you know in the real world has used such a service and get their perspective, bearing in mind that each person's experiences will differ depending on what they are looking for. Once you've signed up on a site and started looking, chances are you will across some 'ugly trolls' in your internet dating journey but do not be discouraged. All you have to do is be honest and careful.

What you should do when you join an online dating site

Dating sites are largely easy to use and self-explanatory. To get the best out of your experience is to go in with a healthy perspective, meaning you'd be better off not having great expectations to begin with. If you join a site simply to meet other people and have some fun doing so you'll find the right person might just come along. On the other hand, if you approach this experience as 'do or die' you will most probably find yourself disappointed.

One thing that will benefit you in the long run is to be honest about what you want and how you present yourself. Do not upload a favourite picture of yourself that is very attractive indeed but sadly 15 years out-of-date. If you do, you will attract some takers but they may be bitterly disappointed with the real you if and when you eventually meet.

The 'if and when' is an important part of the process. Do not rush at every opportunity to meet the person you've just 'met' online 5 minutes after you've started communicating. Give yourself time to have a few good chats online first before you agree to meet, and then only in a public area. You don't really know who you're meeting and you will want to take your personal safety very seriously.

And most importantly, do not give anyone your real life address or any personal information about the exact place of your employment, or financial information of any kind. I feel almost foolish for mentioning it here but you would be surprised how many people fall prey to flattering comments directed at them online.

Should you be sceptical of finding love online?

Absolutely not. It's as good a way as any to meet people and get to know them. You just have to be extra careful for your own safety and the safety of your loved ones. You should definitely give it a try but do not get too involved too quickly.

Also a good thing to remember is that if it seems too good to be true, it probably is. For example, if suddenly you get a much younger (and very handsome) man interested in you online, and you've never experienced that sort of attention in real life before, do not feel 'lucky'. Use your brain and think: why would a man like that be interested in me now? Indeed, why would a young good-looking man be interested in a much older woman?

We all know that men are very visual creatures; youth and beauty is an irresistible combination to most of them. So when a young man who clearly would have access to young and beautiful women shows an interest in an older woman (no matter how beautiful she is) there is the chance that he is looking for something to gain other than an equal relationship. Most probably he wants to be taken care of by you so beware. He will give you a good time but you will have to pay for it one way or another. Whatever it is he'll want it will require your assistance otherwise he will not be able to continue the relationship. So do not be fooled by young men flattering you online, if you're after a real relationship, stick to people your own age, preferably with the same interests and not too much baggage.

When should you definitely not date at all?

Whether you're looking for love online or just around your neighborhood, there is one dating tip you should definitely heed and that is: Do NOT date when you're desperate.

It may be that you are not coping financially, you need help with your children, or indeed, are desperate to have children; whatever it is, these are primary areas of desperation that will lead you to choose the wrong person.

Identify the areas in which you need help and turn to your family and friends, not some guy you've just met in a bar or unloaded to online. Your desperation will be noted and taken advantage of, and most of the time you will find yourself worse off than before you started.

With that said, an older woman with a healthy dose of self-esteem has a lot to offer so I wish you happy and safe dating!

... With that said...

You should definitely date online if you

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    • A. Riter profile image

      A. Riter 5 years ago from A galaxy very very far away ...

      Well, at least you can say you've lived. Most people exist, that is all.

    • profile image

      Ghost32 5 years ago

      This one (Hub) intrigued me. Closing in on age 69 with a disabled 61-year-old wife, I obviously wouldn't have any current insights on how it goes for women over 40 who are dating.

      But with 6 divorces on my backtrail and married to my 7th wife, I CAN tell you how those met me who were over 40 when they met me. Not that we dated a lot; mostly I met 'em & married 'em. Still...

      #5. Sadie, age 44 when we met at a singles dance. Her older female friend & chaperone did her best to run me off & watched over the deal for a while--I had to be gently persistent--but it worked. We had a 6 year marriage and built a business together that grossed over $2 million in a 20 year period (till it faded out). The business also supported both of us for nearly a decade and a half AFTER we split.

      #6. Faye. A mutual friend told her about me & she called me. Leap Year. Four year marriage, still able to go to dinner together comfortably some years after the divorce.

      #7. Pam. Met in a laundromat in Tonopah, Nevada. She'd been homeless for 2 years prior to winning enough in a casino to pay for a cheap apartment. I was in town to process divorce #6. Loaned her a quarter for her laundry dryer and the rest is history--16 years and counting, still hooked at the hip.

      Just saying. :)