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- Advice & Tips for Women in Relationships
My first look at domestic violence
Maybe I was a sheltered child growing up, but I personally never had any dealing with domestic violence. My parents fought, but they never hurt each other. I had never had male or female friends that would go back and forth with someone you knew that was hurting them. I know what the definition of domestic violence is, I know what it looks like from the 24 hour new channels and the newspapers. Maybe I have been lucky, till today.....
My sister came home from work and we saw that we needed a few things from Wal-mart, we figured maybe hour trip and we would be back. As we left, this was around 5ish this afternoon, we came out of our apartment to hear this wail beside the stairs. We didn't think much of it, so we kept walking. We got to the front to see people everywhere, a lot of them around our car.
An older woman with her grandchild saw us stopped and said, "Is that your car?"
We both stopped and said, "Yes"
We finally took in the scene, from our own little worlds, to see that the back window of our car, near the trunk was smashed in. The woman said something about it got broken. I looked on the ground to see there was a pool of red on the ground. I first thought that maybe someone dropped something that broke and it went through the window. No, that was a pool of blood on the ground it took me a bit to see. Instantly, I was in shock...Was this really happening?
Then, the wail from the side of the stairs, came around the corner and I finally started to understand what happened. The woman was slammed twice into the window of our car and before me was now a rather deformed young woman...I will save you the graphic details of what she looked like, lets just say I was in stunned.
Long story short, we all tried to help this woman calm herself and wait for the ambulance and the police. She seemed more concerned about her face. I know I am a woman, it will bother me too, but she didn't want anyone to call the police and once the police got there, she ran from the officer, till he kinda grabbed her and took her to the ambulance. She didn't want help or charges! The officers were afraid she may lose her eye and she wanted to go home and figure this out herself.
We all hear the reasons why people stay with battering men: fear, she is dependent on him for things like money, shelter, etc. , she thinks she caused it, she feels alone. If someone hadn't witnessed this woman being hurt...WHAT DO ANYONE THINK WOULD HAVE HAPPENED TO HER???? She would have been another statistic.
We need to support people that get into these situations, don't turn your backs and call these people dumb for staying, You don't know what you would do if you got yourself into that situation really! According to the ABA on Commission on Domestic Violence, In a 1995-1996 study, conducted in all 50 states and DC, nearly 25% of women and 7.6% of men were abused by a romantic partner sometime in their lifetime.
The National Hotline for Domestic Violence Help is: 1.800-799-SAFE or 1-800-799-723. Please Get Help!