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It’s Not Destiny, It’s Destiny Building

Updated on May 3, 2012

Walk with a friend

Stop being told to smile and find out how for yourself

There is a saying when we give up on life and become “accepting’ of our circumstances and the events that seem to be beyond our control: “Its fate!”

And with a shrug, and maybe a cry, we surrender to that mightier power and take the lumps life doles out.

Of course life doesn’t need to be that way, not my life and not yours.

Even if you believe that we are “pre-destined” to live our life a certain way, we still have choices and opportunities that take us from one moment to the next. Even the smallest things could make big changes.

For instance, you see a commercial for a new type of toothpaste and on your next shopping trip you pick some up. You like it and after a while you run out and head to the store to buy more. On that trip you make small talk with the person in the cashier lineup behind you. You both have a lot in common, it seems, and exchange email addresses. After a while you meet up for coffee, start dating, fall in love, get married and life happily ever after.

Was that due to the toothpaste commercial you saw so long ago? Or maybe because you dropped the toothpaste on the floor, accidentally stepped on it, emptied the tube and needed to get more that day. Or maybe it all began when some toothpaste company executive decided they needed to create a new flavor. Or going back farther, maybe it all started when humans first started growing teeth along the evolutionary path.

It’s a little like “Chaos Theory”.

When a butterfly flaps its wings a hurricane develops in Tokyo.

The only real “pre-destiny” is giving up on life. When you decide to be “accepting” of life’s events as they are, or seem to be, and decide that you are not the instrument of control in your own life, you give up control and you give up on yourself.

But you are in control. You and you alone make the choices that affect the next events you’ll live through. Certainly life can throw its curves at you, I myself am a cancer survivor and the experience changed me drastically, but I refused to give up control of my life and you need to make this same decision:

Take back responsibility for how your life is turning out. Do not rely on others and random events to carry you along life’s path.

You do have the control you need, you can make the choices to live the life you want and have the relationships you deserve.

One step at a time and you’ll do fine.

And you can lean on the advice of a lot of people. There are many hundreds of similar experiences to be found online. Just do your best to question everything to find what works best for you in the choices you have yet to make.

The more you know the better your future will be and the more certain your destiny will become.


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      Robert Lee 5 years ago from Canada

      If it's relationship troubles you're faced with, are you certain you're looking at things is a good way? Rori can help you.