Up from the depths... Bridezilla!
Beware the Bride...
OK, so we all know about the blushing bride, the serene sweetie and the beautiful princess on the big day itself. But, what about the lead up to the most special day of many people's lives?
I was interested to hear the term Bridezilla mentioned the other day and wanted to know what exactly this meant. What is a Bridezilla... what causes a Bridezilla to be... what are some of the worst Bridezilla stories out there? The last part is the most interesting part obviously!
So, what exactly is a Bridezilla? Here's an example: A bride called her maid of honour and asked her not to wear her own engagement ring on the big day so as to not distract from her own ring!
Are you starting to get the picture?
What is a Bridezilla?
Well, the almighty Wikipedia says Bridezilla is a colloquial term for a 'difficult bride'...
Or, according to Dictionary.com, Bridezilla is 'a bride-to-be who focuses so much on the event that she becomes difficult and obnoxious.'
Here's a couple of examples I discovered...
1) One Bride made all of her bridesmaids wear unflattering dresses just to make sure that she herself (the Bride) looked the best.
2) Another Bride didn't care that her guests were being forced to stand in sopping mud with bright sun in their eyes for over 30 minutes during her ceremony... just because it would make for 'great photos' at a 'fantastic venue'.
3) And, another Bride was so obsessed with how her pictures would look ordered her brother to have a mole surgically removed, prohibited anyone from coloring or cutting their hair, and told a bridesmaid to visit a dermatologist because she had a pimple!!!
Ouch! Bridezilla's don't sound that much fun...
So, what drives a perfectly reasonable (and most of the time sane) person to become a BZ? The answer is obvious really, it's the stress. A wedding day is one of the most hyped up and important days of a person's life (male or female I may add) and unfortunately, it does appear that in the majority of cases it is the bride who has to deal with the brunt of organising everything.
And, there's a LOT to organise!
Personally, I work in the entertainment side of weddings (www.warble-entertainment.com) and so mediate between brides and grooms and wedding bands, harpists, string quartets, caricaturists, jazz bands, fire performers etc. And, I completely understand and accept that this is just one facet of the whole organisational process. Now, this can be stressful enough! A couple want their guests to enjoy their chosen entertainment - they want a full dance floor, a party to remember, something that represents them! A wedding band to impress everyone... friends, Mum, Dad, Grandma... now that isn't easy! Plus, they want to be able to afford the best quality they possibly can as well... and, these things aren't cheap and as with most things life you do get what you pay for.
So, I do understand it isn't easy with just this one solitary area of the wedding day alone.
BUT... magnify that by 100 at least because as well as the entertainment brides also have to deal with anything and everything ranging from invitations, venue, registrar, the canapes, the meal, photos, beauty regime etc, etc... phew... and this is before I even mention the DRESS!
And, lest we forget one of the biggest stress factors.... the parents and future in-laws! Even though it's 'your' day you will undoubtedly feel so much pressure to make sure you cater for everyone that it is completely understandable that your stress levels are just going to go through the roof.
And, sometimes, a Bridezilla is born...
How to avoid becoming a Bridezilla
SEEK HELP! No, not psychological profiling or anything like that... seek help from the people who are experts at helping with weddings. Do some research and find a good wedding planner. Ask at the venue if they have anybody that they can recommend who they work with on a regular basis. This will really help when it comes to sorting out finer details such as chair covers, décor, etc. a good wedding planner will know all the local suppliers and be able to negotiate the best deals and offer great recommendations.
Obviously, from my personal point of view, use an entertainment agency to help with the entertainment side of things. A good one will not only have literally thousands of contacts but they will also take the time to speak to you and offer unique wedding entertainment ideas that will go alongside your theme or planning. You should enjoy this part, entertainment is fun! So, don't spend hours trawling the Internet looking at all kinds of terrible entertainment on horrible 90s websites.... go to a professional booking agency for help, advice and ideas.
Also, ask for help from those close at hand! Ask family and friends to share some of the jobs. It shouldn't all be a huge stress, it should be enjoyable and what better way is there to make it enjoyable than to involve those loved ones who are happy to lend a hand.
And, don't forget... this isn't just YOUR big day! Start believing it is and you are already well on the road to becoming a BZ!! Make sure that if your other half isn't helping out enough give them a kick up the jacksy. A quick clip round the ear should sort it! But remember, sometimes lazy partners can be the product of overenthusiastic brides who want it to be the 'their own' special day. Share the workload!
It's about the 2 of you... make it happy, enjoyable and FUN! You don't just want to remember the big day itself, but also the nights you sat in trying to choose the wedding music, reminiscing about why 'that' song should be your first dance, etc.
A WEDDING IS MEANT TO BE ABOUT LOVE AND ROMANCE!!! Don't lose sight of this :)
A Male Bridezilla?
Groomonster-n. A Groom-to-be who, while planning a wedding, becomes exceptionally selfish, greedy and obnoxious. The groomonster is a less studied phenomenon than the bridezilla, but the same definition generally applies.
Well, this part was going to be all about the 'Male Bridezilla' and I wanted to add some vids to show that it wasn't just a female issue. But, I couldn't find anything on Google! So... over to you! If you know or have any Groomonster vids, stories or examples let me know and I'll get them added. I mean, surely it isn't just a female phenomena!
Great Bridezilla Stuff on Amazon
Feel free to drop me a line or two with any stories you have come across or have first hand experience of with regards the almightly Bridezilla and Groomonster! We love to hear about these things...