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Love - Do We Choose It or Do We Fall Into It?
Fall In Chocolate :D
Love Is A Choice, Not An Accident
I don't like the term, "falling in love." I've never seen anyone "fall" in love. It sounds as if a person suddenly loses the inability to make a choice on their own and begins a spiraling accidental descent into a relationship over which they have no control.
I've tripped, stumbled, and been pushed resulting in a fall. I've fallen on sharp things, hard surfaces and had a few soft landings, but the act of falling was never my choice. It nearly always resulted in some sort of pain and humiliation.
I have been married to the same man for nearly 42 years. When I was 15, I chose to fall in love with him and he chose to fall in love with me. Perhaps this is one of the reasons why ours has been a loving relationship from the beginning. We were not shoved and did not trip. We knew what we were looking for in a mate and found potential in one another. From the time we made that decision, we became devoted to our partnership.
Love is a process. The love we had for one another 42 years ago is not the same as it is today. In the beginning, we dealt with unfamiliarity and newness but still ackwardly focused on dedicating our lives to one another. Dedication was soon intermingled with devotion and a deep love that continues to deepen.
I have watched as young couples and older couples have abused and misused their freedom of choice to be in love with someone. Driven by lust and self-satisfaction, they made a wreck of their lives, often dragging along innocent children who are the results of one-night-stands and unloving unions. Aids and std's are lifelong aftermaths of believing one has "fallen" with no ability to make a choice.
My husband and I had the privilege of knowing Christ and understanding the true meaning of love and how it comes about, is nurtured and matures. Many whose marriages we have seen fail, had the same knowledge, but later, they made the choice to walk away. Not only does a person choose to love, but also chooses to remain in love.
A person chooses to not love just as they choose to love. Falling never results in anything good, so perhaps what happens when someone chooses not to love someone anymore can be compared to a fall. It seldom happens without pain and humiliation effecting someone.
If you're still praying for the person with which you want to spend the rest of your life, make sure you abide by the rules given to all of mankind by the creator of love. God's written Word is clear on who we are to unite with and for what purpose. And for those who need a complete description of love, that's also written in the Bible. Read 1 Corinthians, Chapter 13:
If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.