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- Advice & Tips for Women in Relationships
How to Meet The Girl of Your Dreams
YOU try finding a picture without the grand-kids in it!
The girl of my dreams happened to say “Yes”, when I asked her to marry me 41 years ago. I don't know what would have happened if she said no. But, coming up on 40 years married, she is the girl of my dreams still, and my love for her is beyond description. Why was she the girl for me? What qualities did she have that made me know that I could not live without her? What makes her the girl of my dreams?
If I started with her physical beauty, I will sound sexist (but she is beautiful). If I start with her personality, you’ll think I’m cliche'. If I start with her charm, I’ll risk sounding like a snob. So I will just start at the beginning.
I met my bride to be when we were kids; I was 11 and she was 9. OMG! This is her...this is the girl I'm going to marry! I'm dead serious, this was exactly what I thought. It came from who knows where, but I sincerely remember thinking that the day we met and it's now 50 years later.
I wanted so hard to make a good impression, but didn’t have much self confidence then. So I fantasized about great and heroic feats I could dazzle her with. Somehow, I didn't see myself as the heroic, bedazzling Prince Charming. Then I thought, well amaze her with stories of my glamorous achievements. Problem: Since I had none, I would have been lying. But, as Mark Twain once said, “If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.” So, I shyly introduced myself and as we near our 40th anniversary, the rest, as they say, is history.
What Can You Do?
But what about you? Guys, what needs to happen for you to meet the girl of your dreams? Here are a few suggestions to get you started in the right direction. Someday, these tips may have come in handy, but remember, I am living proof that fate sometimes has the final say.
1) Have an image already forming on what the woman that you’ll spend the rest of your life with will be like. Looks, personality traits, character attributes, spiritual beliefs, behavioral traits and compatibility are all things to consider. If you don’t know who you are looking for, how will you know when you find her? Yet, nothing is etched in stone and over time, your 'dream girl' might take on a different picture.
2) Get over any fears that you have and don't miss what could be the only chance you'll have to meet her. If you are both right there and then don’t go up and introduce yourself, she’ll be in and out of your life faster than a blink of your eye.
3) Be polite, on your best manners and have some harmless, yet interesting things to say to try to start a conversation. Be yourself and be confident. Women will detect when you are being fake and do not like wishy-washy men.
4) Make eye contact and smile. Try and say something funny and laugh at any humorous remarks she makes. A majority of women find that a man who can make them laugh is more attractive in her eyes.
5) Ask if she wants to join you for a cup of coffee so that you can both relax and have a chance to chat. Sometimes, a non-threatening suggestion such as this will help break the ice.
6) At the very least, ask for her phone number AND offer yours to her, in case she may feel uneasy about giving out her number to someone she just met.
7) Don’t take the first no as a final answer. She may be unsure of your motives, so be clear that you do find her interesting and would just like a chance to get to know her better.
8) If it is going exceedingly well, ask her for a date. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
9) Act appropriately and always be a gentleman.
10) Be persistent and be yourself. Remember, live with no excuses and love with no regrets.
Life is hectic. Also, women do have to protect themselves and be wary of strangers. So, if you feel there is interest, yet hesitation on her part, offer to make the first 'date' one where a group of her friends would be with her when you arrive. The more secure she feels, the better your chances of seeing her again.