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Dysfunctional and Disrespectful Relationship

Updated on November 4, 2014

An unhealthy relationship is not better than no relationship at all. Sometimes a person has to really step back and determine if this relationship is truly healthy.

While watching Couples Therapy, a reality relationship television in which couples therapy is held amongst group, there was one couple that stuck out: Ghostface and Kelsey Nykole. Dr.Jenn Berman was so appalled by Ghostface's lack of respect for his partners feelings, reducing their interaction, while informing her that he was involved with someone else was appalling. Dr.Jenn Berman informed Ghostface that his behavior was disrespectful.

From a psychological standpoint it brings awareness to men who have issues with women. Talking, dating, and entering into relationships with women while hating and being distrustful of women-amazing duel interaction.

Perhaps when dating one of the questions you should get around to is how a man feels about his mother? How a man treats his mothers and sisters provide you with an insight regarding how he views women. The Madonna/Whore complex basically states the inability of a man to maintain sexual arousal (or interest) within a committed, loving relationship.

Sigmund Freud labeled the psychological complex as the Madonna/Whore complex. Wikipedia defines this situation as a psychological complex developed in men who see women as either saintly Madonnas or debased prostitutes. Men with this complex desire a sexual partner who has been degraded (the whore) while they cannot desire the respected partner (the Madonna).

Freud wrote: "Where such men love they have no desire and where they desire they cannot love."

Clinical psychologist Uwe Hartmann, stated that the complex "is still highly prevalent in today's patients".

While exploring this topic Wikipedia provides information on the root cause of this psychological complex:

Psychoanalyst Richard Tuch suggests that Freud offered at least one alternative explanation for the Madonna–whore complex:

This earlier theory is based not on oedipal-based castration anxiety but on man's primary hatred of women, stimulated by the child’s sense that he had been made to experience intolerable frustration and/or narcissistic injury at the hands of his mother. According to this theory, in adulthood the boy-turned-man seeks to avenge these mistreatment s through sadistic attacks on women who are stand-ins for mother.

On Bill Urell wrote an article detailing the 9 warning signs of a dysfunctional relationship. The relationship between Ghostface and Kelsey Nykole exhibit so many signs of an unhealthy relationship including her devotion to someone that clearly lacks values, morals, and most importantly lacks respect for women.

While Ghostface is not the only one it brings to light a generation of men with issues that destroy relationships and families alike, his actions personify a supreme problem in relationships.

The question comes to mind: how can you build when you have no respect for women and/or those you choose for relationship partners? Is it functional to believe that as long as the person caters to your needs and does everything they want then they are valued in your eyes, but yet still void of your reciprocity and loyalty. It is interesting for certain people to convey that they have one set of rules in a relationship while the same rules do not apply to their partners. Perhaps the biggest question, how does a flawed man present himself as a man when he acts like that of a child? If presenting yourself as a man is most important; then is the title of liar and phony part a part of this presentation?

While there is nothing wrong with loving someone else; the greatest love of all is love for yourself. It's the ability to offer your best, weather the storm of the relationship, and give it your all. Your eyes must be open to who the other person is, not who you want them to be. There has to be a point within your heart and mind that wakes you and says: no, this is not okay! It's the voice that causes you to examine the words and actions of the other party and deciding if this is a person worthy of you. Putting on blinders and ignoring who a person really is will only make the decision to end the relationship harder. Remember, Paul Simon said: There's 50 Ways To Leave Your Lover.

Liars /Players /Cheaters

True of False? Do most men who are womanizers/players in some way hate women?

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    • grand old lady profile image

      Mona Sabalones Gonzalez 

      4 years ago from Philippines

      It's better to leave a dysfunctional relationship than to try and make it work. The video was appalling. The girl is so pretty she could have anyone, and this bloated fellow thinks he's God's gift to women. Yuck.


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