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Finding your perfect match

Updated on October 7, 2010

Finding your perfect match can be quite a headache. I remember those days when I was alone and searching for my perfect match. I didn't know what woman exactly I was looking for. Does a perfect match exist? How do I know that this or that person is my soulmate? What should I do if I am the person who can fall in love in one minute? When I was in my twenties, I was too modest to express my attraction in concrete actions. I am not a "party crasher" kind of guy who would go on a date every saturday with a different girl. I am more an introvert not extravert. At those days no-one would own a mobile phone or a computer. We could not sign up to dating websites and look for a perfect match there.
If you wanted to meet someone you had to get out of your house, not stay inside. But then everything changed. Mobile phones and internet invaded and changed people's lifestyle. Let's talk about meeting someone online pros and cons.

It's less complicated

Nowadays, when almost every person has an access to the internet, getting acquainted is less complicates especially for those who are not easy to get on with. You feel safe, comfortable and more relaxed sitting behind a screen than sitting in a bar or cafeteria trying to strike up a friendship or impress some girl or a guy you barely know.
At home you don't need to try to be cool. You can be yourself and think about all the questions and answers before writing them down. That's a good thing because usually we tend to say something before thinking about it. Chatting online gives you more time to think and not rush with the answers.
Also, You can easily find people with the same interests and activities. Just visit some dating sites or forums of the activities you like and search for local events or meetings that are likely to attract people with similar interests. 

You don't know if it's for real

However there is one huge disadvantage of online relationships- you do not know whether the person you're chatting with is really the person that he or she is giving himself/herself for. You don't know whether it is really his or her photo and you can not check your friend's bio. Of course, the best thing about it is that you're already making a conversation, but it's only one side of the story. Try meeting that person for real. One of my friends thought he was in love, because he had met some girl online. They chatted online for a week for 6-7 hours on a daily basis and then he went to see her. That was a total disaster. Firstly, she was a little different than in photos. Being honest from the very begining is very important and he felt deceived. But that wasn't the worst part. The worst part was that they did not find a topic to talk about. They already knew everything about each other from that week online. All topics were exhausted. My friend left her and returned home with a broken heart. We arrive at a conclusion that if you really want to know your soulmate, you will have to meet him in the real world, not in the virtual.

If you want to find out some simple tips about finding your soulmate, read on.

1. Get out more often

There is one advice that you should definitely follow if you want to find your perfect match. Get out more often. Go to discos, meet with friends, go on a picnic, start attending dancing classes (women are crazy about men who can dance). Do not lock yourself at home, be sociable. Try not to think only about meeting your soulmate, become busy with your life. If your friends invite you to some party, GO with them. I met my wife on a canoe trip. We were in different canoes, nevertheless I had many opportunities to talk to her when making up a fire and setting up tents. Our friendship started after that trip. I wouldn't get that kind of opportunity sitting at home.

2. Don't be too serious

Try to laugh and smile more often. Don't overdo it, because in that case you would look stupid, but someone said that a smile is the best cure for all diseases. People are more open to smiles than serious faces. A smile breaks the ice and makes people more attractive.

3. Try to be natural

If conversation is like a flow, then it's a good sign that you're speaking to someone who really understands you. If you narrow yourself to some ordinary phrases, there is no flow, you're getting one word answers, then stop pushing it. There was one girl, that I liked. She was attractive and funny and I felt fine  when we were with a group of friends, but whenever we were left alone I felt some discomfort. There was no flow. This is very important. Firstly, we evaluate the looks, but then it's the magic of mutual conversation that really counts.

4. Try not to get carried away

If you met someone you like and think that "this is it", don't get carried away. Remember that your soulmate is only a human who has feelings, his or her ups and downs. You will experience hardships, therefore you need to prepare yourself for that. Be ready to cope and forgive and try to avoid showing your disappointment.

5. Being yourself

If you feel that you can be yourself with the person you like, congratulations. You have found your perfect match. From my own experience I can say, that whenever I was trying to push something that I wasn't, that would lead me to failure. But when I found my soulmate, I could be myself and that was the best thing about relationships. I didn't need to impress her with an expensive car or a solid bank account. I didn't have a car, but that was not a problem. I am not a tall guy with wide shoulders, but that wasn't a problem either. I am not a banker or a lawyer, but she did not bother. She was still impressed with me and I was in love (still am).

After all there is no perfect match. We are all only humans. Don't fall in despair if you can not find that special someone. Try not to think about it and make as many friends as you can. It will pay off. Give and it shall be given to. I hope that this article gave you some ideas and encouraged not to give up.


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    • fibo777 profile image

      fibo777 6 years ago from UK

      Amazing. Simply amazing stuff. Time to celebrate your one year on Hubpages. Order drinks, cakes and etc.

    • rolichius profile image

      rolichius 7 years ago from Vilnius

      Thanx LillyGrillzit for your comment. Looking and waiting for your soulmate always takes time, but it's not all about it. There are many wonderful things in life to do, so we can do it and forget about being lonely. That worked for me. Take care :)

    • LillyGrillzit profile image

      Lori J Latimer 7 years ago from The River Valley, Arkansas

      I Like your advice:"Get Out More Often". I tease my gf, because she always says, "I hope I win that $45 Million Drawing". I always ask, "Did you buy a ticket?"...I would like to "meet someone", but I guess you have to leave the cave to do so...LOL