Excuses women use not to sleep with men on the first date
This article is the result of very serious investigative journalism. Cough. It confirms that no matter what one thinks one knows about women, one is always, once and again, proved wrong.
Typically, what you find out there with the help of Google, or Cosmo of course, are tons or articles on the following topics:
- Why it's NOT a good idea to sleep with a guy on the first date
- Why it IS a good idea to sleep with a guy on the first date
- What will a guy think if a girl DOESN'T sleep with him on the first date
- What will a guy think if a girl DOES sleep with him on the first date
What I haven't found in my extensive research (cough) is this: What excuses women use to avoid sleeping with men on the first date when they actually want to. That is, excuses women work out for themselves, not for the guy in question! Funky, uh?
You're probably thinking, why ever would a woman need to find an excuse for herself if she actually wants to sleep with a guy? Beats the bejesus out of me, folks, and the thing is, women are really not my area of expertise, so I can't rightly answer the question.
So without further ado, here are the three most frequent excuses women use to STOP THEMSELVES from having sex on the first date when they know if they don't have the excuse handy they are simply going to fall into bed, or into the nearest sofa, with their unsuspecting lovers-to-be.
Top Excuse: I'm wearing ugly underwear
Here you have it, ladies and gents. When women want to avoid all temptation to fall into bed with a guy in the first date, they pick their ugliest underwear and get as far away as possible from sexy lingerie.
So they will go for granny panties, sports bras, and totally, blatantly, absurdly ridiculous pieces of underwear which, you can bet, they keep in their underwear drawer just for this purpose.
Careful ladies, this may make you fall!
Apparently, when a woman is wearing one of those cotton, high-up-to-your neck, likely white but also skin colored knickers, they simply won't fall into temptation's jaws. I mean, temptation completely goes away, they would sooner die than air their ugly undies.
Guys, I know you're shaking your head sadly, even probably banging it against a wall, all the while thinking, "I don't care if it's a rag, I won't even look at it!" Sorry, fellows, this is not about what you will or will not look at, it's about how women feel when wearing them ugly knickers. Voila.
Second Excuse: I didn't shave
No need to smirk, now, and listen up. Generally, women spend a good bit of time preparing to look nice for a date, they put on makeup, do their hair, their nails, their... geez I don't know, everything, right?
Then they pick their clothes and shoes to impress and feel sexy, and the thing is, most of the times they succeed in getting that look that says, I did this for me, not really for you, you know, I'm just this pretty any which way you look at me.
In short, women generally know how to make themselves look scrumptious enough to make a guy fall on his knees.
So what if they want to cause this very reaction from a fellow, enough to get to the second date, but don't want to make him so hot and adoring that she turns to a puddle and falls into bed with him on the first date?
They don't shave! And what's the problem with a little hair, you fellows are thinking? Most of the women interviewed for this investigative piece (cough) would just as soon be shot in the head than jump into bed with a guy if they haven't shaved, so "a little hair" from a girl's perspective is just as obnoxious as killing puppies or global warming, so again, they achieve the perfect antidote for succumbing to temptation.
I know most of you don't care, guys, but women do, and that's what counts here, the excuse if for her own benefit!
At least, if a girl gives you that excuse, you can be fairly certain that she's hot for you, and you just need to patient until the second date! Voila.
Third Excuse: A friend called and she's distressed and needs help
This excuse is pretty elaborate and needs planning, so at least you'll know the lady has the hots for you if she went to this trouble to avoid sleeping with you on the first date.
When a woman knows she's in first-date-high-risk, when she fears falling into temptation, into bed, or into the backseat of the nearest car with her date, she will ask a friend to call her at a given time, and this friend calling will be in supposed trouble, most likely guy trouble!
Men know women will help each other, especially through guy trouble, I mean, it's the most natural thing in the world, right?
So she can't let the friend hanging out to dry and will tell the fellow in question that she needs to go, but would simply love to continue enjoying his company some other time.
In those cases, the guy got enough vibes that he knows the girl's in the bag, so to speak, and he will promptly agree to a second date. She gets her second date, and you, my fellows, will get to home base right then.
First Date Serenade
So, girls, am I right, or am I right?
I already said I don't have a clue why women feel they need to avoid sleeping with a guy they actually want to sleep with on the first date. Probably every woman has their own reasons, and that's all cool and dandy. Girls, by all means, do tell, if you're so inclined!
What I know, however, is that these three excuses are genuine, the Buffoon didn't make them up at all. I mean, seriously, how could I make up such ideas? Women told me these things!
© 2010 Buffoon