- Gender and Relationships»
For better or for worse - a lot worse.
The honeymoon phase.
I believe everyone is familiar with the term "honeymoon phase"?
For those of you who aren't: It is used to describe the happy period at the beginning of every new relationship. For some, this lasts days, others weeks and for some - years. This specific moment is the stage where you both get to know each other. You both try everything in your power to make the other one feel as committed as you. You get those crazy feelings in your stomach that doesn't seem to disappear. Your cheeks hurt from smiling whenever you hear their voice or speak to them. It's beautiful. No. It's amazing. Unbeatable in fact.
Not only does this period allow you to learn new things about your partner, it also makes you realise new things about yourself; things you never thought you would discover. For example, you may find that your soft side is a little softer than you would like to admit. Everyone has seen one or two chick flicks in their life, and would probably never admit that they would like a feeling similar to the two protagonists who would go to the end of the Earth for one another.
Unfortunately, like most great things it must all end. Rather suddenly. Well that seems to be my case anyway. The saddest part about this is that throughout the rest of your relationship you will always think, or even say to your partner, "you never used to be like this"
"you used to make me so happy"
"what happened to us?"
You know why this stage always seems so horrible once you left it?
Because you are reminded that this is the best your relationship will ever be. And will never be again. Someone once said that (and excuse my paraphrasing) 'If people acted how they did when they tried to get you, they wouldn't lose you'. Quite honestly, this is one of the truest statements I have ever had the pleasure of reading.
People try so hard at the beginning of relationships to give you the impression that they would do anything for you. This will slowly become obvious that it is a lie.
Does a picture capture a thousand words? Or lie a thousand words?
I felt it was only appropriate to place a slightly cheesy, yet ironic video about love. It seemed right - I mean, they all look happy don't they?
Or is that what they want you to think? You'd be surprised at how many people act happy to avoid questions, or people seeing the situation for what it really is. The power of a photo is quite spectacular. You're led to believe that two people are so madly in love. This photo doesn't emphasise the arguments, the jealousy, the lies, the betrayals. Nor does it show the one thing that you will feel at one point: suffocation.
Take this photo for example. They look happy. They appear to look happy. However, once the photo is turned you can see their relationship for what it really is - completely unhappy. Oh, the controversy.
Lets sit ourselves down and have a word.
When do we decide that enough is enough?
A few weeks into feeling unhappy?
- Things might get better.
A few months into feeling unhappy?
- Things might get better.
A few years into feeling unhappy?
- Things might get better. We've been together for so long. I can't leave them.
- Before the wedding?
- After the wedding?
Wait a moment..
I'm not saying that every relationship is bad; just like i'm not saying that every relationship is worthwhile. I think we just need to be able to differentiate between the two. No one wants to be stuck in an unhappy relationship because they feel it may be worthwhile. Just like a lot of people regret letting a good person go.
It's safe to say the world of love is a confusing one.
As the great Oscar Wilde once said "Deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance."