I just want to know which one is better, as they both have a problems after it
Ultimately (how) one came to be married is less important than who they married and are they happy. In the U.S. it's been reported that our divorce rate hovers around 50%.
The vast majority of Americans choose their own spouse.
Having said that it's also important to note just because a couple does not get divorced does not mean they're "in love" or "happy" either. In some countries there is a still a stigma against divorce or women lack the earning potential to become financially independent. They feel stuck!
The more options one has the less crap they will put up with!
When it comes to marriage and relationships (how) you got together is less important than (who) you got together with.
There is no exact science to love and marriage.
What worked well for one person may not for another.
thanks for your reply.Yes there is a divorce rate is high nowadays but in my views parents should teach their child(ren) what is the right path or not because they have been gone through this all.
Life is a (personal) journey.
No one can tell another person what makes "them" happy.
Everyone has their own "mate selection" criteria and traits they want in their ideal mate. The "perfect person" for you may not be what your children consider to be "perfect for them".
The easy thing is go over one's "list" of traits such as height, weight, education, occupation, and background check for criminal records. However it the (intangibles) that often sink relationships. Lack of "chemistry", not sharing similar sense of humor, sexually incompatible, having different ideas of how the household should be run.
Gender expectations and personality clashes.
Doubt one is better than the other. Marriage requires lots of effort from both parties, give and take etc. Whether arranged or free choice ultimately the success of the marriage will depend on how well the married couple are able to work together for the 'greater' good.
Arranged marriages are about familial control. If you are content to be a part of a mini-hive in the hopes that someday you will be the master, fine, but be prepared to be old by the time that happens-- if it ever does. If tribal loyalty is your thing, I'm sure there is profit in that. Personally, I find the cost too great. If I had to choose between an arranged marriage and no marriage at all, I would choose the latter and be an outcast and free.
Love marriage: you start happy
Arrange marriage: you start satisfied
What happens after the marriage is up to the couple.
Arranged marriages: have survived the test of time, working in different countries, across different cultures, for centuries. Sometimes they grow to love each other, other times to resent each other. But statistically, they survive.
Love marriages: lost count of the couples that married 'out of love' today that have got divorced. Marriages based on true love can survive anything. Marriages based on this farce that people call 'love' can barely survive a disagreement about which place to live.
Ideally love marriages are the best. But it has to be genuine love.
I think that an arranged marriage is fine if it is conducted with the willing consent of both parties. I have several friends who had traditionally arranged marriages in India and they seem very happy, though one said that she and her husband were virtual strangers when they married and had to get to know each other after the event. On the other hand, I know people who were very much 'in love' when they married and they are now divorced. Romantic love lasts only for a few very lucky couples - the real thing kicks in later, hopefully, (as it presumably does for those in arranged marriages). 'Marriage in haste, repent at leisure' is the old adage. Fundamentally, marriage is a contract - which perhaps both parties should enter into after discarding the rose-tinted spectacles; and which they should work hard to make successful. I write this as someone wise after the event - I divorced many years ago after thirteen years of marriage. Read The Road Less Travelled by M.Scott Peck, a psychologist and married man. He seems to have it nailed - 'love is a verb not an adjective'.
by M K Paul 12 years ago
Presently I am writing a hub relate to marriage, so what is your choice and what do you prefer, Arrange marriage or Love Marriage?
by lovelife999 14 years ago
Tell me about your opinion about marriage.
by Devika Primić 10 years ago
How long does the honeymoon phase last for newly weds?Honeymoon phases makes a relationship feel so perfect from the start but what happens when reality kicks in for arranged marriages?
by realtalk247 9 years ago
What do you think about Married At First Sight. Specialists (sexologist, spiritualist, psychologist, and sociologist) use matchmaking methods to match couples. The couples have no contact prior to their wedding day. The show documents the journey from marriage to everyday life...
by Julianna 13 years ago
I am trying to understand how arranged marriages work and why it is still practiced.CAn anyone explain this ? Does the couple date? etc.
by Devika Primić 10 years ago
Can love grow and last in arranged marriages?Individuals don't know each other in arranged marriages and are chosen by cultural purposes, religion, to avoid poverty to have ones child and to be that rock in the middle. In the process do couples find the interest of each other and bond...
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