The ex boyfriend has now become friends with your good girlfriend. Is it possibl

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   Blondy2posted 15 years ago

   The ex boyfriend has now become friends with your good girlfriend. Is it possible to be friends?
   
   I am trying to get over my ex boyfriend but now he has become friends with a good friend of mine, who I see on a frequent basis and we share a larger circle of friends among us so that makes it a little uncomfortable.  I know they would not do anything to hurt me but I am having a hard time dealing with this. I am distancing myself from the ex but with my girlfriend it is hard b/c I see her on a frequent basis and we share a larger circle of friends among us.  I don't want to feel like the jealous crazy girl. Any advice? And is itpossible to remain friends? When I see her I see him.

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2. 77

   stricktlydatingposted 15 years ago

   In this situation most woman in your situation would feel awful!  Here's some suggestions about what you could do.  Talk to your girlfriend about it, when it's just the two of you, be open about it and say that you don't want to seem gelous, but since you're trying to get over him, it makes you feel awkward at the moment because it seems like she's becoming good friends with him since you broke up.  If she's a true friend, she'll listen and respect your feelings, as she might not even be aware that she's appearing this way to you, she may even think you've long gotton over him.  So long as you are open and honest about it, it should go over okay (you don't want to appear like you're picking on her).  If you are still in contact with your ex, you could also say somthing similar to him.  Other than that what you're already doing by trying to distance yourself from both of them sounds like a good idea at this stage, until your feelings for your ex have more time to resolve.

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   tanay253posted 15 years ago

   You are in a awkard situation trying to forget your Ex but on the contrary he peeps on before you .Now the only alternative is to discuss this matter with your friends and make sure they dont take it otherwise.Maintain a distance where your Ex drops in.

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   Poetry Chickposted 15 years ago

   I understand where you are coming from, and I agree with the others. You HAVE to talk to your friend and let her know what is going on. In a way though, you cannot control seeing him with her because you cannot expect her to just not be near him when near you, but yes it is possible to remain friends once the wounds heal.
   
   Talk to your friend and maybe together you two can work out a way to hang out while respecting eachother's feelings. Also, did he become friend's with her just to get back at you!? You arnt going to heal if you keep dwelling on the past. I know it hurts but maybe seeing him from time to time helps heal you, but maybe you also need closure to fully heal!

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   debugsposted 15 years ago

   Yes why not? Unless your ex has done a terribly wrong thing -- like abused you, stole from you, threatened to kill you, stole your dog/cat; or any crime against you (or the state btw), I see no reason why two adults can't be friends. Some ex boyfriends get to be BETTER friends than lovers!

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   NiaLeeposted 12 years ago

   It depends on how the relationship ended and why. I personally will step away from everybody if things are shady or awkward...because sometimes girlfriend like ex, or ex likes girlfriend and we don't need to witness that story...
   for one thing, do what puts you at peace, does he want you back? does she want him? does he want her? are you comfortable with those???
   These are the questions!

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   Blondy2posted 12 years ago

   I am happy to say that I am over that loser and her. We are not friends, just acquaintances since we share a large circle of friends.  She still makes me sick for what she did, but...  A person that treats someone like that does not deserve my friendship...and their relationship only lasted a few months so all good happens for a reason!

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   crickette_wposted 11 years ago

   I wanted to answer this question even though it was along time ago...Now that it's been awhile I do hope you have realized a more self perserving approach....
   
   This isn't about him and it wasn't about her...It was about the feelings you were allowing yourself to feel...
   
   Keep in mind....we "allow" our lives to happen as they do...If we are happy, sad, jealous, mad and etc...it's what we are allowing and welcoming in ourselves....
   
   If you look at it like this, we should never want someone so bad that if they don't want us or who we are that we shutter and fall...If someone doesn't want to be with us it is good they tell us....during the honeymoon time of a relationship we tend to not look at how the other is feeling, just what we are doing for them and allowing ourselves to become dependant on the feelings we have for them....
   
   The most important thing to have, is a partner who looks at us with the sparkle in his eyes even if we don't look our best...there is someone out there for all of us if we wait.....lonely isn't lonely...most the time we don't know ourselves well enough to have a relationship that is healthy...if a man doesn't want to be with us, it shouldn't matter who he is with...we just know we don't want him....the act of courting is getting to know someone to see if we can spend our lives with them...If the man and you decide you two can't make it, maybe the friend would be a lifetime match...and they tried it from what I am reading in your comments...
   
   You my dear are the important one, being upset or worried that an ex is with someone else if you think about it should be a relief...we want our "friends" to be happy...It is easier to have a break up be calm and smooth and remain friends on a certain level...why is this....just because you don't make it now, someday through maturity, you might be a match...second, holding animosity for anyone inside us doesn't hurt them it hurts us, and third of all, it's not what happens to us in life that shows our character, it's how we handle what happens to us...
   huggs...and glad you were able to move past this...

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