Wife of 9 years cheated, we have a son, I want to forgive, she doesn't know what

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   kevindecker46posted 14 years ago

   Wife of 9 years cheated, we have a son, I want to forgive, she doesn't know what to do. On the...
   
   program, no contact for a month. How can do this without contact with my son also.

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2. 0

   brotheryochananposted 14 years ago

   Sounds like she wants some spice in her life. She may feel her life with you has becomes, sorry, boring. She's continually looking beyond the fence to greener pastures, or maybe a bigger wallet. Seems like you might have to spice up the package a bit. Entertain her more often, take her out, get her interested in things that the two of you can do together, remember her birthdays. Remember if the woman you are with doesn't feel like shes the object of your desire or that you are starting to take her for granted, women can fall out of love so quickly it'll make you wonder if she ever did love you. They fall out of love when they are not happy. Make her happy. Bend over backwards if need be.

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3. 60

   6hotfingers3posted 14 years ago

   okay, I will try this again. I lost my last response to you. It is better to learn after 9 years than after 33 years that the two of you can not live together.
   
   I am not sure if you will not have contact living under the same roof or you will not have intimate contact. It may be for the good if you do not have intimate contact for your own personal protection.
   
   Allow her to sort things out. She may come around, if not allow her to leave. You  can love her from a distance and at the same time permit yourself to find someone else when you heal from the pain.
   
   Your son will be better off if he is not living around arguments and tension in the home. if you split, he will be hurt and not understand the reason mom and dad can't live in the same  house. One important thing you may want to ask your wife and yourself...don't divorce the child. Allow him to have two parents in his life. That is if things come to a place that calls for divorce.
   
   Good luck!
   I hope things work out for the good of the family.

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4. 60

   JulieMcDanielposted 14 years ago

   i say do what you feel is right in your heart. if you think that you can forgive her and look past it then give it a try. if not then it is best to part ways and stay friends so that your son will have a good relationship with you both.

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5. 57

   fitguy757posted 14 years ago

   Hi ... Love the issue you have raised........if she is honest to tell you then believe,  she in essence...she is true to you.....there must be a million ways  to bring back your old flame.   its hard when you feel unloved but you can explore new friends or possibilitis too,  if you wish to be open with her......feel out what she feels   sometimes  just having an outside, opposite sex  true friends can make us feel more secure or whole,  (with or without sex, new friends can be phenomenal each in your own space).  Perhaps, love begins by giving the gift of freedom......I am a Buddhist  (www.vbtemple.org)  we believe  'all life is change'  explore it, enamour it.   I love the 7 points   as compassionate,  humility.....openness, understanding, communication.   I cheated once.....gave up my virginity to the wrong woman at 28...she had many relationships unbeknowst to me..its  difficult to be pure and to be honest too...give the best of all you are to her.....perhaps  she will also  and you both may fine a new and more exhilarating 'life path' in your relationship and with your son.  Forgiveness is a beneficent  quality too......I believe she adds a remarkable quality to you, it brings more beauty and humility in your soul........am sure she has feelings too she will love to explore with you, as much too.  Some things  are meant not to be, yet some are.

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   lostdogrwdposted 14 years ago

   for better or worst and cheating is very very bad but I can't say worst and you love you son. forgive her and be with you son and if can;t do, stay at-least until son is grown. she had sex with someone and soap can clean that but work to see what will stop that and for son  work though it. but make sure you tow talk and LISTEN TO EACH OTHER and do what it take sexually for her not to go out side of you unless you want it and you pick the person. some people in to swinging.

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