WHAT DO I DO??? i've been best friends with mr x for 3 years but there has alway

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   muddle<34posted 13 years ago

   WHAT DO I DO??? i've been best friends with mr x for 3 years but there has always been an element of
   
   attraction there because of his great personality. but i was in a long term relationship and he had a gf. now we are both single and we both have feelings for each other. the trouble is that my friends and family have always teased us that there was something going on (not true). they all approve of him as my friend but nothing more as his last two relationships have resulted in unwanted pregnancies (both miscarried). that is the one big problem between us and more than friendship. i dont know what to do.

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   whisperingbrookposted 13 years ago

   I had been in the same type of situation quite some time ago and the way I dealt with it was to take all measures on my part to avoid pregnancy if I truely did not want it. I ensured I was on the pill and he wore condoms. I took all the measures myself to ensure I was safe. My family and friends would tease me asking when I was going to have children and I always said the same thing, when I was ready. They use to joke saying that i would have three cause the first girl had one and then the second had two so me being third I would have three and after 3 yrs with him i had had none because having a child takes two people and I figure that the only one that can control if i got pregnant was me so I would have to say ignore what people say and think and do what you feel is right. I also feel that, and I did this too, before sex comes into play that maybe you should sit down and talk about how you feel on the kids topic because if you do become pregnant you should at least know where you both stand before that point.

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   stricktlydatingposted 13 years ago

   It would be great if our friends always approved of our choices of boyfriends, but fortunately or unfortunately we all have different tastes, and differences in what we're attracted to in a person.  You said that your friends approve of him as a friend, that's a great start - hang out with him and see what happens and if anything develops, but if it does don't be ashamed to admit it to your friends, they'll come around if they see you're happy.

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   muddle<34posted 13 years ago

   thanx for both of your answers. they both make a lot of sence. thankyou for your advice whisperingbrook. i always take all steps to protect myself from unwanted pregnancy and everyone in my life has always known that i dont want children. the main problem is everyone else. my mom has been known to make it very difficult for one of her children to be in a relationship she doesnt approve of. it sounds bad but she is just a very strong person who i love and respect. but when we were being accused of cheating on our partners with each other it made me very ill with depression because of all of the pressure on me. im just scared of going back to that emotional place and im wondering what i should do and if this is worth that risk. again thankyou both for your answers.

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   ReneeDC1979posted 11 years ago

   You sound more worried that everyone else will approve of him if you start a relationship.  Well, what about what you want.  I have learned to stop living for everyone else.  I ended a few good relationships because my family did not approve of him because of his job, status or whatever.  And look at me now.  Still single.  I decided to find the person that is right for me.  Besides, when it's all said and done your family and friends don't have to be in a relationship with him, you do.  Be happy.  If he wants to be with you as much as you want to be with him then go for it.  If you think it will enhance what you've already built as friends, enjoy.  Live Long and Prosper.  Great Question!!

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