How do you tell someone you love EVERYTHING without the fear of hurting them?

1. 83

   ii3rittlesposted 13 years ago

   How do you tell someone you love EVERYTHING without the fear of hurting them?
   
   I have my share of trust issues & tend to keep certain things to myself, but I want my fiance to be completely open and honest with me, but I have to do the same for him. How do I tell him things that may make him angry or possibly hurt his feelings? I never do things bluntly against him, or cheat, or anything like that. Its really more a less how I day dream, what I day dream about, and how I feel about people he's friends with.

   replyreport
2. 60

   Ashantinaposted 13 years ago

   Just tell honestly but gently. Express how it makes you feel.... set aside time to talk with each other..............

   replyreport
3. 59

   Ideas to comeposted 13 years ago

   This is a tricky subject. Because being honest and saying something that could potentionally damage your relationship.  Sometimes people are unable to take the truth and sometimes we just don't know how to deliver it.  I know that in my experience the truth is always best but maybe you need to tell someone you trust what it is you want to say and see how they would take it, and then maybe they can advise you on a better way to say it, or if your way is to harsh, or if they think your way is just fine.  We tend to just blurt things out when something is bothering us, so take the time you need to investigate this subject.

   replyreport
4. 72

   dashingscorpioposted 13 years ago

   "Life is a personal journey"
   As close as we may become to someone we can (never) become them. There is no reason why you need to share "every idea, day dream, or dream you have" with anyone. This is especially true if you believe your thoughts would hurt them.
   Unless you can point out some type of danger or threat to your relationship because of his friendships then you might just want to focus on your own friendships.
   
   As for his friends or even family for that matter that is part of "the package" that comes with him.
   
   Each of us gets to select (our own) friends, lovers, and spouse. It's been said that "friends are the family (we choose)". Therefore realize what you may be up against if you have something negative to say about his friends. Some people resent being told whom not to associate with. In fact many feel as though their mate is out to "control" them when this type of issue comes up.

   replyreport
5. 60

   Coach Julieposted 13 years ago

   He is your fiance.  That would mean one day he will be your husband.  For a marriage to work, complete trust is necessary.  For trust to build, you have to take a chance.  You expect him to be completely open and honest with you and you recognize the need for you to do the same.  You may want to start by saying that to him.  If he loves you enough to marry you he must love you enough to want to know everything about you and to accept you as you are.
   
   From what you wrote I'm guessing you are attracted to one or more of his friends. That isn't so unusual.  Think about what it is that attracts you and see if you find those same qualities in your fiance.  This is a call for you to evaluate your relationship.  If it will survive, this will be the first test. 
   
   If you truly believe either you or he won't be able to handle a conversation like this, it may be wise to seek couples counseling before you get married.  This type of counseling will assist you both in learning effective communication techniques before you take the plunge and promise things you're not able to deliver.  Best of luck to you both and congratulations on recognizing an area you need to work on.  That's step one.

   replyreport
6. 61

   manthyposted 13 years ago

   you have to have the faith & just do it - There is no way to avoid hurting someone's feeling-you are going to hurt a loved ones feelings from time to time, but if they truly love you they will understand

   replyreport
7. 35

   edhanposted 13 years ago

   It is bad to keep it to yourself. It will come a day that you may blur out and things will be worst at that moment.
   
   I do believe that we should settle things as we go along in life. Any issue should be deal with immediately. That way, it will avoid future complication. But if you allow it to accumulate then it will be like a balloon that is blown bigger each day. When it burst, then it will be too late.

   replyreport
8. 0

   JadedLoveposted 13 years ago

   ok, you need to remember that a woman has a door at the very deepest part of her, and behind that door is when she keeps her secrets. Secrets are not bad, in fact, it is very healthy to keep some things depending on what they are to yourself. If you feel that you want to tell him that his best friend is embarassing to eat out with because he puts his mouth to the plate instead of his fork to his mouth, skip that one and lock it up. dont and i mean dont critisize his friends unless they are bad for him or for you. you do however want to be honest with what hurts your feelings. i say, if you feel like you might hurt his feelings, wait 24 hours. if you still feel the need to tell him, then consider weather or not not telling him will affect the relationship in a negative way. remember, you CAN wear out our ability to talk to each other by over shareing.

   replyreport
9. 59

   kori howardposted 13 years ago

   do his favorite thing then tell him gently. i hope he don't get mad good luck.

   replyreport