Can a single guy be good friends with a married woman without crossing lines or

Jump to Last Post 1-7 of 7 discussions (8 posts)
  1. Maice Jones profile image53
    Maice Jonesposted 11 years ago

    Can a single guy be good friends with a married woman without crossing lines or causing problems?

    As a cop, I'm often paired with this married woman close to my age. In my job, you have to trust and depend on the person next to you, so naturally you befriend the one you work with -getting dinner together and hanging out every now and then; all within the context of friends/coworkers. Her husband is in another state, and now I'm realizing this is probably a dangerous situation. Any advice you can give would be greatly appreciated.

  2. Kurant82 profile image60
    Kurant82posted 11 years ago

    Well it depends it the woman is very attractive or looks like week old road kill ran over by a tractor. Also it depends on whether or not you know the husband, if you are good friends and have known the husband for a long time I think you should be fine, unless you really are a morally immune scumbag, and if that's the case maybe you should do the world a favor and walk directly into oncoming traffic. If you do not know the husband and the wife is hot, the answer is simply NO you cannot be good friends without crossing the lines, eventually it is going to happen that is just the nature of man.

    1. Cantuhearmescream profile image79
      Cantuhearmescreamposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Are you serious? What. it is okay to interfere in a commited relationship if the person in question is good looking enough? That is about the stupidest thing I've ever heard. That's why women bash men because of stupid things like that.

  3. juiwei2000 profile image58
    juiwei2000posted 11 years ago

    Hmm...consider the circumstances surrounding the line of work you are in, I don't think we are really in a position to give you any real advice, (As you might already know, everybody want the cops to protect them, but in the same time, everybody are critical of them, due to fear of stuff like police coruption) but maybe, if she understand where you are coming from and agree with you, you guys can change partners?

    PS: Kurant82, I guess it is probably because they exercise regularly and are very fit, but according to my observation, most younger female cops are very attractive looking, so my guess we got a road kill problem, already

  4. profile image51
    riverside27posted 11 years ago

    Yes you can.........but look at her as a working patner..Think of her as someone who has a family of her own, respect her for who she is....Even though her husband is in another state...But if she does starts to flirt....remind her of commitment of being a married lady and to stay true to her vows...

  5. fpherj48 profile image60
    fpherj48posted 11 years ago

    Hmmmmmm....Well, if you felt it necessary to pose this question, you have a point in thinking this may just be a "dangerous" situation.  However, being aware of the danger may be what helps you to stay clear of any trouble or temptations.  If "she" has given you vibes or you feel she's "flirting," you're in an even more dangerous spot.  If there's nothing you can do to avoid being paired with Ms. Married, looks like your self-control is in for the work-out of it's life!!  My motherly advice?  Behave yourself!

  6. Cantuhearmescream profile image79
    Cantuhearmescreamposted 10 years ago

    I think that it is 100% possible and 99.9% dangerous. You would have to have one of the most healthy, satisfying and fulfilling marriages in the world, not to mention an understanding wife, to pull this off. Do I think that there are men who simply want to be “just friends” with another woman or some men that do have innocent relationships with the opposite sex? Yes, I do. But, we all know that it is easiest to take our anger, depression and every other negative emotion out on those closest to us. So you have to consider the idea that you must be venting some of that out on your wife and not your “girl” friend. Also, your wife will naturally be feeding you some of her own negative emotions which your “girl” friend will not be putting on you because that is not your role in the relationship.  So friends often don’t have the stress associated with them that our significant others often do and friendships are sometimes more refreshing and begins to take on a more “pleasant” experience than that of what you are getting at home. Sometimes we aren’t looking to further relationships but after a certain amount of quality bonding time is spent with another person, feelings may develop naturally without control over it. Furthermore, you leave yourself exposed to the idea that you may be able to keep any “inappropriate” feelings at bay, but your friend may not. What do you do when your friend starts developing feelings for you? What if they don’t directly tell you but start responding to you and the relationship in a more intimate matter? What if she does directly come out and tell you? What if she initiates more than a friendship with you? I think that it is a relatively dangerous situation and I personally find that I and many other couples do well with incorporating their spouse into a friendship. Double dates, backyard BBQs, card night? Make your “girl” friend, your wives friend as well?

  7. profile image48
    Penelope Pringlesposted 7 years ago

    No even if you both have no intentions at first things can change. I don't think it's even possible to keep it just work. It's human nature to talk about your life, likes dislikes and so on. Without even knowing it you can become attached to that person and then feelings evolve . It's best to keep work just that. Hanging out and being friends is not fair to your coworker or your wife.


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)