Do you frown upon men with tender hearts and that cry?

1. 72

   ithabiseposted 12 years ago

   Do you frown upon men with tender hearts and that cry?
   
   Is "Men don't cry" true or fair? If you are a man, how often do you shed tears? If you are a woman, what do you think of men who cry?

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2. 66

   Alecia Murphyposted 12 years ago

   I think anyone who is in touch with their emotions should not be condemned.  A man who cries to me shows he is not afraid of being himself. And anyone who can openly be themselves should always be respected.

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3. 74

   Mom Katposted 12 years ago

   My hubby isn't afraid to cry.  Sometimes I find it touching because I know that he is experiencing deep emotions.  Other times I get annoyed because I, myself am easy to tears & when he cries more than I do I find myself wishing he would suck it up at least a little.
   
   There is no shame in letting your emotions show through genuine tears of sadness, joy, pride, or love.  As long as it isn't being used as a tool for manipulation ~ then it's wrong for both genders.

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4. 66

   Cara.Rposted 12 years ago

   "Men don't cry." is not only false, it is unfair. However it has been ingrained in men since they were little boys. I see nothing wrong with a man expressing his emotions. I think if more men did cry they would feel better. Seeing a man be moved to tears, for any reason that they feel strongly about, is truly a guy becoming a man. Being comfortable with himself, to know when it's time to let those types of feelings out, is an emotional maturity that I fine courageous, another fine quality in anyone.

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5. 82

   junksellerposted 12 years ago

   I think in a lot of ways we completely fail our boys (and thereby our men). It is more than the not crying part, it is the complete lack of teaching them ways of understanding, communicating, and managing the whole range of emotional content human beings feel, whether that's sexuality, pain, anger, fear, etc.
   
   It's a big problem because in the absence of effective tools, we rely upon what we know, which too often is violence or other physical actions (although properly channeled physicality can be very therapeutic). And without the ability to shed negative emotions (which crying in part does) we end up strapping it to our souls. The high rate of suicide by men is a grim example of the problem.
   
   I don't know why we have so stigmatized it. We should view it simply as a physical response to stimuli. Like sweating. Heck, we could consider it mind sweating. It just means our brain had a good workout. I actually kind of think that the need to cry can represent someone who is courageous enough to feel deeply. And that actually takes some strength.

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6. 59

   duffsmomposted 12 years ago

   I don't like to be around any one who cries over everything. I don't mind a man or woman tearing up, it shows they have feelings--but out and out crying makes me terribly uncomfortable and I wish they would do it privately.
   
   I tear up over everything, but rarely out and out cry unless I am alone and frustrated and just need to get it out.

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7. 88

   Pamela99posted 12 years ago

   Not at all. I think it is a shame we teach little boys to stuff those emotions. Tears at appropriate times are nothing to be ashamed of and I think a man who allows himself to show some emotion is probably more secure about himself. Having said that, I don't want to see a cry baby in a man or woman. I knew a woman who cried about anything and everything, which got old. I suppose some therapy might have helped her.

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8. 41

   unknown spyposted 12 years ago

   i think those men who shed tears are brave enough to show their feelings. Most men I knew really try hard not to cry especially in front of girls.. My best friend cried when we parted ways. It's kinda cute.

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9. 60

   Geek_luvposted 12 years ago

   Nearly every television show, movie, and nearby park that has playing kids will have an adult telling a kid "big boys don't cry". In the United States, it is gender normative for men to appear as strong, tough, and emotionally shallow. These ideals... read more

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10. 60

    Geek_luvposted 12 years ago

    I recently wrote a hub relating to this : http://geekluv.hubpages.com/hub/Why-big … hey-should
    
    I don't think poorly of men who cry. In some cases I find it attractive or comforting. In some situations, I would think ill of a man who did NOT cry. While the common idea that a man crying is "taboo" in the United States, I am certain others will agree with me that men should and do cry.

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11. 72

    ithabiseposted 12 years ago

    I agree with what everyone has stated (and am happy to find the responses overwhelmingly positive of the fact.) My only addition is that I find it so hypocritical when men say that they're "not emotional," yet erupt with paroxysms of vitriol to their family and friends, beat their wives and children, or ransack their homes. This only echoes what Junkseller has said; and perhaps men should not fear their emotions and emotional expression. It is natural--but herein we may discover that problems arise when we attempt to suppress what is indeed natural to us.

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