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jump to last post 1-3 of 3 discussions (6 posts)

Relationships

  1. Tmonica profile image61
    Tmonicaposted 5 years ago

    Relationships

    I have a question, that has been bothering me. My boyfriend and I broke up last night. Everything was great all before this. He has been working 2 jobs and I completely understood that we would not have that much time together and I accepted it. We had a past before this and ended up getting back together after a few years. So we had an arguement because of something that happened, it wasn't anything like cheating but it was a serious personal matter that we went through. So he says I am not good enough for you and I am sorry I inconvience you, now is this a cop out or what?

  2. janshares profile image95
    jansharesposted 5 years ago

    Without knowing the particulars, Tmonica, it's hard to answer your question, which I believe is, "Is your boyfriend's statement a cop out and is there another reason he ended it?" Not sure but if he wasn't specific about ending it I would say it may have been an easy way out of a situation that he perceives hasn't healed from the past. Whatever happened last night triggered something unfinished and he doesn't want to do the work with you to ensure that it doesn't happen again. He may either be tired, scared, or unable to trust you or himself with sticking it out for the long haul.

    1. janshares profile image95
      jansharesposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      So sorry, to hear that; maybe not the best time for details. I hope you're getting the support you need, Tmonica. Sounds like it was more than he could handle, but awful for you to be left alone. Please make sure you get some face-to-face support.

    2. Tmonica profile image61
      Tmonicaposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you so much, I deleted the information, but I put it for you to see so you could understand. I completely agree with what you said, I don't think he knew how to handle it and instead of trying, he just left. Again thank you so much.

  3. dashingscorpio profile image88
    dashingscorpioposted 5 years ago

    Maybe he really is not good enough for you. Regardless of that there is no "good way" or "perfect time" to be dumped or abandoned. Basically he is saying, "It's not you, it's me". Another statement men use in situations like this is " You're amazing. Some guy is going to be lucky to have you." Of course the woman is thinking, "That guy could be you!"
    Either way it's an attempt to breakup with you on "good terms". Some people prefer to trash the other person or run down a list of their flaws. Oddly enough a lot o people want or need a "blow out" fight to end a relationship. Sometimes a man will throw in the towel if a woman is constantly complaining about what he does or does not do. Eventually he reaches the conclusion that he's simply not the guy for her! The method/timing of a breakup is always at the discretion of the person ending the relationship. People do things at their own comfort level.
    There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships. We either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have. Unfortunately most people would rather invest their time and energy into trying to change their mate. There is no "right" or "wrong" only "agree" or "disagree". Ultimately we are all looking for someone who (naturally agrees) with us on the major things in life.
    There is no amount of "work" or "communication" that can overcome being with somone who does not want what you want! Thankfully there are over 7 billion people on the planet. Every ending is a new beginning.

    1. Tmonica profile image61
      Tmonicaposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you so much for you response. I would like to say that honestly after thinking this through, he really was not good enough for me. Whether that was his way to get out of the relationship or he really felt it, I know it was best now for us.

 
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