How do you tell a relative that they are over-weight without upsetting them?
or is it best to just keep quiet and hope for the best?
....and you think that they do not know that they are overweight? really?
Better not to say a word, love them as they are. You can't make choices for other people, they have to live their own life and make their own choices, including how they eat. If you live with them or close to them see if they would want to take walks, ride bikes, or do something active with you. Emphasis that you've wanted to do this and need the company. Never mention or even imply you are trying to help them. I've noticed a change in weight comes from motivation within and nothing others say (most especially negative) will cause a person to change.
I believe that the relative already knows. I understand concern for a loved one's health, but most people do not like for anyone to tell them something they already know, especially something so sensitive. Ask the relative to go walking with you several times a week, or ask him/her to be your support partner at a gym. Pay for one year of membership for both of you. I did this for a relative who was overweight. You can also cook healthful meals and invite the relative over. Always eat and drink healthful things in her/his presence. Buy the person a very attractive outfit that is one size too small, and throw away the receipt. This may help him/her to think about shedding a few pounds to wear it.
Get involved in that person's life and create more healthful routines to enjoy together and with others. Plan a walk-a-thon together, and involve many others. You could invite church members or other groups. Each participant could donate $5.00 to be used for a charity or scholarship fund. Volunteer together a few hours a week in the community to perform active deeds. Go bike riding with both of your families. Just think, in the process of helping an overweight relative, you would be helping many others, the community, and yourself. I wish you and your relative happy wellness!
My eldest son is over weight and while he is well aware that everyone judges him by his weight he has resolved to deal with it on his own terms. Many people who are overweight already know that they are, you don't have to tell them. We are the ones who cannot accept that person for who they are or have become according to our ideals.
Possible solution. Since that person already knows that they are overweight try to find out how much they accept themself the way they are now. That could be by gauging the sincerity of their happiness while talking to them. If they are perfectly happy with the way they are then there is nothing you can do to change them.
Why would you actually WANT to tell a relative they are fat? What makes you think they are not fully aware of the fact? You need to question your own motives.
I've always been overweight, and I can tell you I always find it offensive when people point it out. I am what I am, and people should accept me as I am.
If I want to discuss my weight with anyone, which I do from time to time, and for various reasons, then the subject should be raised by me, and not by them.
When I was about 17, my Uncle made some fat remark, and I was so incensed that I retaliated by pointing out that his ears stuck out. I know it was equally rude, but I wanted to show him that he didn't have a right to be offensive just because he was older than me. He was very shocked, so I think the message struck home.
The only exception I would make is in parts of the world, like Africa, where fat women are considered beautiful, and the word mafuta, meaning fat, or fatty, is used as a compliment.
Having said that, I would add that I don't mind discussing diet and exercise, just not in a judgmental way. And I don't mind a bit of genuine humor, so really, it depends to some extent on how I perceive the person's comment. Any hint of being critical or judgmental, and I'm off!
I think a more productive way of letting someone know you are concerned about their health would be to research and write an article on how to overcome food addiction, how to recognize health problems that cause weight gain, such as hypothyroidism or taking steroids for example.
I think I'd focus on that, rather than a specific person. In doing that, you may help many.
It's between a person and their doctor really, not relatives.
Many people die each year from being overweight. Find out the statistics. Then focus on helping everyone who battles weight issues and not a person.
I hope that helps you. Good luck with your hub.
I was worried for my mother because her being overweight added onto the health problems she already had. Also, she wasn't "curvy, sassy and proud" like lots of people are...she hated it everyday and it killed me to see her so down on herself. Her being overweight didn't come from a place of pride and love for herself...it came from a dark part of herself that thought she just wasn't good enough to try for herself.
Instead of telling her something she already knew, I asked her to workout and eat healthy with me. It wasn't because I pitied her... I actually NEEDED and WANTED her to experience health with me. She gained a healthy lifestyle for life and feels better about herself, and I got a workout/fitness partner...and a healthy mother out of it!
You worry about upsetting them? Everything is blunt in our family and if you get upset, we tell you to go to your room and set yourself out before coming back. Even if it's dad when he's sick. My husband knows to leave me with my books and we tell him to play his video games when he's upset. If they can't handle themselves, they aren't worth being around, even if they are family. Being upset bothers the rest of the family which is rude, and they need to handle themselves. And yes, we are crudely blunt.
Hello, Lady E.....You don't. I have never met an overweight person in my life who is UNAWARE that they are, in fact, overweight. They can see their image in any mirror.....know what sizes they must wear.....feel the struggle & hear the grunt when they bend over...and realize the difference in their bodies and those of other more slim and trim individuals.
If the person is your child or spouse, I suppose you have some control and can assist by the foods you buy and prepare and activities you encourage. Other than this, it doesn't seem like a good idea to approach the subject. EVEN IF "they" bring it up....I feel you should resist the urge to become too vocal. No matter what you say or HOW you say it......what the sensitive "overweight" person will hear is....."You're Fat.".......Follow me?
by Janis Leslie Evans 8 years ago
What makes it so hard for some people to give a compliment?Why is it difficult for some to share in another's joy by verbally acknowledging their success or accomplishment with a simple compliment? Please explain.
by Jplanet 10 years ago
If God is omni present and knows the past ,present, and future, then why would he test us when...he already knows the outcome of our actions?
by Limeline99 11 years ago
How do you ask your boyfriend to lose weight without hurting his feelings?
by Jeanette A Dobbs 12 years ago
Living most of my life in urban communities, I have seen what is available for the average households of those communities. I remember how my grandmother had a garden and in the precious piece of real estate she was able to grown hundreds of pounds of fresh vegetables and fruits, in...
by Valeed 5 years ago
What is more challenging, being a skinny guy or a fat guy?By skinny I mean a person who has almost no meat on himself.
by Benny Stiltner 9 years ago
Why Pray if our Father already knows what we need before we even speak a word?According to Jesus, when we pray, we are praying to a Father who already knows what we need before we even utter a single syllable. So why pray at all? Do we do so in order to somehow get God's attention? Do we pray for...
Copyright © 2023 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. HubPages® is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website.
|HubPages Device ID||This is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.|
|Login||This is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.|
|HubPages Traffic Pixel||This is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.|
|Remarketing Pixels||We may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.|
|Conversion Tracking Pixels||We may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.|