Is your marriage over? How you know when its time to file for a divorce?

1. 60

   wellspokenposted 10 years ago

   Is your marriage over? How you know when its time to file for a divorce?
   
   I wonder why people exchange vows anymore and do they realize what they are saying. Til death do us part.....so if that's the case why is the divorce rate so high. Why is divorce ever an option??

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2. 70

   dashingscorpioposted 10 years ago

   There are two key reasons why the divorce is high.
   1. Human beings make mistakes!
   No one disputes this fact except for when it comes to (choosing) the "right person" to marry. Intellectually we know not everyone dates or marries the right person for them self. Oftentimes people get married before truly knowing who they are marrying. Then there are some who never sat down to figure out what they wanted and needed in a mate for life! And then there are others who marry someone who flips the script on them down the road. It's not uncommon to hear someone say, "He/she is not the same person I fell in love with."
   2. Oftentimes people get married for the wrong reasons!
   Some examples include unplanned pregnancy, an ultimatum was given, all their friends were married or getting married, they reached a "goal age", just got tired of being single, been in a relationship for a couple of years and thought "Why the hell not?", someone joined the military and was about to be shipped away so they wanted to tie someone down in order to ensure there would be someone waiting for them, and other's have been known to (marry people they did NOT love) for money or to get out of their parent's house.
   Everyone is entitled to have "deal breakers". In fact if one does not have them odds are they have low self-esteem or do not love themselves. Just because you marry someone does not mean you have to stay with them if the relationship becomes toxic, violent, or one's mate is cheating, not living up to promises they made, verbal abuse, abusing your children, stealing the family money, becomes a drug addict or alcoholic, stopped having sex or being affectionate towards you. There is no virtue in being someone's doormat!
   Lastly it is (women) who initiate 66% of the divorce filings in the U.S. Speculation is it's due to the fact that women of today have better career opportunities and more financial independence than women of the earlier eras. The more "options" someone has the less crap they're willing to put up with! :-)
   Too often people say getting divorced is the "easy way out". Most of the time people who say this have never gone through a divorce! The truth of the matter is it's a whole lot easier to get married than it is to go through a divorce! It takes courage to admit you made a mistake and start over again.
   "There is no amount of (work) or (communication) that can overcome being with someone who does not want what you want for the marriage." Awhile back I wrote a hub about commitment. http://dashingscorpio.hubpages.com/hub/ … forgranted

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3. 60

   Lifeinthelouposted 10 years ago

   Apparently your marriage is going well or you would not be asking this question. Till death do you part, what if the marriage is dead?

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4. 72

   mathiraposted 10 years ago

   Marriage is a relationship that should be given time to mellow into a deep relationship. It is sad that modern couples do not take marriage seriously and opt for divorce citing silly reasons. Is there a valid reason for divorce?  When your marriage has lost all its niceties and when there is no  mutual trust, loyalty or respect your relationship cannot survive. But you should make all efforts to make your marriage work. Even a tiny ember of love can make your relationship thrive if only both contribute your part to your marriage.

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   1. 70

      dashingscorpioposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      It takes (both) people to make a marriage work. If one person isn't willing to put any effort towards it you have no option but to move on. Divorce is not cheap and in the U.S. it's women who initiate most of the divorces and not for silly reasons

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5. 44

   DDEposted 10 years ago

   When you know communication has seized and you  can't be in  the same room together it is time to leave divorce is the answer  once two people have made up their minds.

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