Why it Hurts When the person you care for ignores your advice ?
Sundeep....We can only pass advice on to someone we love, based upon the best of our wisdom and our concern for them. We do this sincerely and hope that they will seriously consider our words in making their decisions.
If and when they seem to ignore our advice, it can hurt us. However, we need to look at this in a more open manner. Perhaps our advice was considered positive, but for some personal reason, our loved one felt the advice was not appropriate at this particular time, or correct for the individuals he/she was dealing with There could be any number of reasons that our advice was not acted upon.
I don't believe this necessarily means that it was rejected altogether, It can still be valuable advice that they will recall for future use. We can know that our advice was appreciated. No need to be hurt.
Sometimes I think we measure how much others love and respect us based upon their willingness to listen to us and follow our advice.
If someone always ignores our advice we assume they must not respect us which means we must not be important to them and therefore they do not love or value us very much.
People tend to follow the advice of those they admire so subconsciously we feel hurt because this person feels we lack the wisdom or experience to give them guidance in a particular area of life. We take it "personal".
Whenever you feel offended by someone who did not set out to intentionally hurt you it usually means you are letting your (ego) dictate your emotional reaction. It's important to remember life is a personal journey.
Each of us is entitled to follow the advice that most resonates with us in the moment. It does not mean we place less value on the people whom we did not listen to regarding a particular issue. It just means we feel more comfortable using another approach.
As many parents can attest to sometimes you have the "right message" but you're the "wrong messenger". Someone they admire or consider "cool" says the same thing you did and suddenly your kids are ready choose that path.
Very nice. Thank you. The last para of your answer is worth reading more than once!
Oh my...as a mother of 4 adult sons....when it comes to "kids"...they are sneaky little rascals. They "listen" and seem to reject our advice. This is because they are saving it for later when they can claim they thought of it on their own!! LOL !
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