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good people deserve love too

Updated on August 9, 2012

Is being a good person enough to achieve love?

I encounter so many women and men, who are good people that want love but remain single.

The phrases sound all the same: Nice guys finish last. Evil women get the good guys.

It’s so sad because there are fifty articles to tell a man how to be more macho or more commanding. There are makeovers given on t.v. to make men believe their attire is the reason why they aren’t attracting the woman that they want. Then there are those who have subscribed to relationship sites that confirm the myth that all women want; rich men, bad boys, thugs, and players. Men who are nice and considerate are made to feel disposable and not interesting to the majority of women.

Resolve: Could it be your targeting the same women that EVERYONE is pursuing? Could it be your lack of confidence and self-esteem is imitating to others and is a turn off? Could it be because you are targeting the rebel woman or wild girl rather than someone more compatible with who you are? Could it be that you are trying too hard and smothering a woman?

There are tons of articles written for women telling them how to wear the right form fitted outfit, new extended lashes, and best six inch pumps to catch a guy. Women read 50 books on How to get Married in a Year or Why Men Love B*tches only to be alone because they are most comfortable being the “good girl” rather than a master manipulator and strategist. Then there are those who believe that all men run after the same runway model, loose, and manipulative types to their demise. There are also women unwilling to play sexual musical chairs every night with a new man because they value themselves.

Resolve: Could it be that you are targeting men who don’t have the right morals or similar mindsets? Perhaps the atmosphere where you meet men is not conducive to who you are? Could it be that you are targeting men who aren’t your type or do not compliment you as a person? Could it be that you are trying pursuing men and thus turning them off from the thrill of the hunt?

The saddest conclusion: good men are not connecting with good women. Maybe people should lift their heads when they are grocery shopping at Whole Foods or book shopping at Barnes and Nobles? Maybe it would be more effective for your friends to introduce you to someone who would be perfect for you. Good people can be all around you, so pay attention next time you are at the food truck buying food or at the gas station pumping gas. While everyone is not a socialite, there are opportunities to meet someone who would be perfect if you only know who you are and be willing to do something different than you normally would do in order to produce more positive dating results. If all else fails: meet and greet the opposite of who you would normally pursue and try a different approach with confidence.


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      Dennis L. Page 5 years ago from New York/Pennsylvania border

      Voted up, useful and interesting. Sometimes our true love may be found when we aren't even looking. Once 2 people fall in love I think an all too common mistake they make is eventually trying to change their partner. I find it interesting that the little habits, laugh, etc. that some found so adorable, eventually turn into something they can't stand anymore. I think that instead of attempting to change the one we love we should simply embrace them for the person they are. Anyway, that is what has worked for my marriage.