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living a happy married life

Updated on July 28, 2016

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TOPIC: MAKING YOUR MARRIGE WORK

TEXT: Gen 2:24 (Ref; Matt. 19:5-6; Mk 10:5-9; 1Co 6:16; 7:2; Eph 5:31)

Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

WHAT IS MARRIAGE?

DICTIONARY defines marriage as an institution where man and woman are joined in a special kind of social and legal dependence for the purpose of founding and maintain a family.

Louis K Anspachat defines marriage as the relationship between man and woman in which the independence is equal, the dependence is mutual and the obligation reciprocal.

Gen 2:24- Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

Thus in marriage, the man and woman should be united, having one voice as they carry out all their duties with love, respect and submission. Sad enough, marriage today has become a source of bitterness, anguish, disappointment and frustration resulting in unprecedented rate of divorce, separation or generally failed marriages which cuts across both the secular and Christian world. The Christian now tends to see it as a Christian duty to endure marriage, a view that is totally at variance with the original will of God.

The originator/ manufacturer of marriage has great purpose for it but we cannot fully understand the values of marriage until we use the manufacturer’s manual which is bible. All principles needed for a healthy marital life can be found in the scripture, just make it your family companion.

GOD ORIGINAL PURPOSE FOR MARRIAGE (GEN 2:18)

God said it is not good for man to be alone; I will make a companion for him, suited to his needs (I will make him a helper comparable to him.")

Judging from this passage of the scripture, marriage is made for deepest human relationship/ friendship. When a man is still alone, something will be missing until he finds his missing rib. Brother has found his missing rib today and we have gather to celebrate with them. And our prayer is that they will find love, peace, God’s blessings and fulfillment in their journey.

For God’s purpose to be fulfilled in marriage, the husband should love his wife just as Christ loved the church and the wife should submit to the ruling authority of the husband.

Remember, husband you are to love and cherish your woman, let her presence always give you joy and gladness. So be happy with your wife and find joy with the woman you married. Pretty and graceful as a deer, let her charms keep you happy. (Pro5:18-22).

YOU MUST BE UNITED TO YOUR WIFE (GEN2:24)

Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

MARRIAGE is to leave+ united+ one flesh

Leave- a man and wife should be able to leave their parent but still showing love and kindness to them

United- they are to be closer to each other than any of their relations

One flesh- they avail sexual pleasure to each other. Remember, sex is God’s gift for married couples. In no condition should either party deny the other of this due except on agreement. Most wives uses this as an act to make their man be subject, they use it in trade for their needs. Remember, someone outside there is waiting for him and willing to give what you have refused to give.

Families with this challenge run into trouble, the man gets sickness and share it to the partner, share his earning with women outside. Do not be deceived, being a charismatic may not keep the man when the heat becomes hot. Always find ways to sort yourselves out but do not use this singular method.

Unity in marriage is very necessary because husband and wife are expected to be best of friends, sharing their deepest secret. This implies “NO SECRET”----- do you have a past you think you would not want someone else to be the one to break it to your spouse then let him/ her know beforehand.

HOW CAN YOU GET MORE CLOSSER

1. Couple must find time to stay together and discuss.

2. Pray together--- this is the strength in your marriage remaining strong and firm.

3. Remember the church teaching that couples are equal in sharing and partnership

4. Must not allow extended family to come between you as you are no longer two but one.

You are to build an ideal Christian home where we find; God presence, obedience to the word of God, fruit of the Holy spirit, peace, kindness, faithfulness, trust, service, perseverance, faith e.t.c.

A good marriage is not a contract between two person but a sacred covenant between three, two often Christ is never invited to the wedding and find no room in the home. It pays to allow God run your home.

YOUR ROLE IN THIS UNION

Each one of you should bring and put in something to make this marriage last and be successful. It is the duty of the man to be a good leader thus a husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church (Eph5:23). The home becomes confused when the man fails to take responsibility and the woman is trying to head the home. Here is like when two drivers are driving an automobile, each person tends to drive to different direction.

The husband is to love and tolerate the wife. Christ sacrifices his life that we might live, be ready to protect your wife and household. Remember, women are weaker vessel (1pet3:7) so treat them with respect because they also will receive with you God’s gift of life.

However, a Godly husband leaves extended home to develop his own (Eph5:31)

Makes a lifelong commitment to his wife (1cor7:10-11), provides material needs of his family (1Tim5:8), meets the wife’s sexual needs (1cor7:3-5), meets his wife’s emotional needs (Eph5:25-30, 33), treats his with gentleness and respect (Col3:19), disciplines his children lovingly (Eph6:4, Col3:21)

Note that a sensitive man will not besiege a woman with questions about why she feels the way she does, nor will he insist that she hurry up and get over sadness, nor will he joke that he’s all she needs, so why doesn’t she stop crying? Listen to her, ask her what she needs. Maybe she needs attention, hug or smile.

Women they said have the most vital roles in the family but how many of us get to fit into this role and carry out the responsibility with all their heart.

Let Wives be in subjection to their husbands (Eph5:22). God in His plan created a woman as a companion and not a competitor.

A capable wife must be hard-working, contribute to up keep of the home if you are working. Now listen to this ---- Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain (Prov.31:10-11). You must be a virtuous woman where by your life will reflect God’s desire. You are a vibrant not a vile, innocent not immodest, righteous not religious, tender not troublesome, observant not obstacle useful not an usurper, salt not a sadist.

A wife must submit to her husband, meet her husband’s sexual need, show respect, support, develop inward charm and beauty.

Do you want to always win your husband? Show grave responsibility, be industrious, prayerful, love and cherish, solace in hour of trial, learn to manage fund, be patient, forgive, smile, be attractive and be a good councilor.

You can also win your wife by showing her love, honour her, tolerate, care for her, show appreciation and attention

TO LIVE ALWAYS HAPPILY; Avoid these attitude in your marriage---- nagging, silence, avoiding the man, exposing family problems, sex as weapon e.t.c.

FOUR SECRET TO A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE

1. A proper view of headship- (1 Cor 11:3) - But I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.

(2). Self control- (Prov. 25:28, 29:11)- Whoever has no rule over his own spirit Is like a city broken down, without walls.

(3). Role of love- (1Cor13:1-13)- Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal.

(4). Be swift about hearing (Jas1:19)- So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.

DEALING WITH CHALLENGES IN MARRIAGE

NO TWO MARRIAGES ARE SAME: WE MIGHT HAVE DIFFERENT CHALLENGES BUT OUR ABILITY TO OVERCOME TOGETHER MAKES US GOD’S LOVING CHILDREN.

MAY WE NOT BE ALLOWED TO SEE CHALLENGES THAT ARE GREATER THAN US, JUST REMEMBER YOU CAME TO THIS WOLRD WITH NOTTING SO WILL RETURN WITH NOTHING.

MARRIAGE IS SWEET AND BITTER BUT YOU HAVE THE POWER TO SELECT WHICH YOU WANT AT A TIME BUT REMEMBER THAT GOD CREATED EVERY THING GOOD GEN1:31

AS YOU MAKE YOUR BED YOU WILL LIE ON IT, FOR AS MANY THAT HAVE BEEN ON THIS JOURNEY FOR SO LONG TIME AND ARE STILL MISSING THE MARK, JUST RETURN AND GOD WILL BLESS AND PROSPER YOUR MARRIAGE. HE WILL GIVE YOU PEACE THAT WILL LAST FOR EVER.

FOR SOME, GOD SHOULD BE KEPT ASIDE WHILE WE DO IT I.E. IN TIME OF ARGUMENT. DO TO OTHERS WHAT CHRIST WILL DO AT THAT VERY SITUATION.

WHO AMONG US IS REGRATING MARRIED TO HIS/ HER SPOUSE? IT IS TIME TO OPEN UP TO THE HOLY SPIRIT, SURROUNDER YOURSELF FOR PURIFICATION AND CHANGE YOUR ATITUDE TO YOUR SPOUSE.

MAY THE GOOD LORD GIVE US PEACE, HAPPINESS AND BLESSING IN OUR MARRIAGE.

LIVING A HAPPY MARRIED LIFE

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    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 16 months ago

      This why it's so important to choose your mate wisely.

      If (both people want the same things) they are going work well together. However too often people choose the {wrong mate} for themselves and then they attempt to "change" each other which causes friction.

      Finding the "right mate" for oneself is the key to a long lasting marriage.

      If a relationship/marriage is requiring a (lot of work) it's probably due to the couple NOT being naturally compatible. They are not on the same page.

      Proverbs 21:19

      "It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman." :)

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 16 months ago

      People often say: "Marriage is hard work."

      In reality finding the "right mate" is the real hard work!

      Compatibility trumps compromise every day of the week!

      The goal is to find someone who shares your same values wants the same things for the relationship that you do, naturally agrees with you on how to obtain those things, and last but not least have a mutual depth of love and desire for one another.

      Like attracts like and opposites attract divorce attorneys!

      There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships: We either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have. Accept them (as is) or move on. The choice is up to us!

      A divorce is nothing more than a public admission that a mistake was made in the {mate selection process} in the eyes of one or both people.

      There is no amount of "work" or "communication" that can overcome being with someone who simply does NOT want what you want.

      Couples who naturally agree on the important things in life and truly enjoy each other's company tend to be happier and stay together.

      The so called "work" in their marriage is actually "a labor of love".

      It's {the effort they make to maintain} what they wanted: The marriage.

      A gardener gets up early in the morning, tills the dirt, pulls weeds, plants seeds, adds fertilizer, waters, and builds a fence to keep pests out.

      The non-gardener might call this "hard work" but the person who actually WANTS a garden considers the work to be "a labor of love".

      It's a little disingenuous to say "marriage is hard work" or "being a parent is hard work" when neither marriage or having children is a requirement. Buying a car and then complaining about having to get the oil changed, fill up with gasoline, and brake jobs is proof that someone has unrealistic expectations. Whatever it is you want whether be a new car, new home, a marriage, or children is going to require maintenance!

      If one fails to nurture a garden it dies!

      If one doesn't want to do the "work"/maintenance it's because they really don't enjoy having the thing they pursued or originally desired.

    • chioma nwankwo profile image
      Author

      princess chioma nwankwo 16 months ago from lagos -Nigeria

      WE NEED EXTRA WORK INDIVIDUALLY ON OUR RELATIONSHIP. IT TAKES TWO TO TANGLE YOU KNOW?