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Heartbreak and Dating

Updated on March 9, 2014

Love, Dating, and All That Stuff!


An ode to when dating goes wrong


Taylor Swift quote:

I took a chance, I took a shot

And you may think I'm bullet-proof, but I'm not.

You took a swing, I took it hard. And down here from the ground I see who you are



So you gave him/her a chance and you gave it your all

You opened your heart and tried to accept someone into it

For a while you were on cloud 9

You ignored the red flags

Gave in to the desires of someone else's interests at times

Hoping for love and reciprocity


Then


It all went wrong

Now you are left with the questions

Did this person care about me?

Did I just get played?

Did I play myself? (i.e. fail to recognize the intent of the other person because you were smitten)


Now you are seeking other people to temporarily fill that void

But they fail to smile the way he/she did

They fail to make your heart jump like he/she did

They don't treat you with the same care as he/she once did


And in your mind you hear that chorus of Raphael Saadiq in your head:

Waste of time

Waste of time

Waste of time

Go your way and I'll go mine

I'm alright, I'm alright, I'll be alright

Go your way and I'll go mine


Slowly you create that shell that protects your heart

Now people are taking notice of you

And they are of no importance to you

For you have one mission, to build a bridge over feeling a fool

So fully protected you start reaching out to others from your past

For the one purpose of forgetting the person who stole your heart

Reaching back reminds you of why you stopped interacting with such people

So you seek the nightlife in order to round up new recruits

Only to find more disappointing fools

For being with someone else does not replace the time you need to heal old wounds

To stop feeling like a heartbroken fool

Still focused on the woman/man you want to be with


There aren't enough books to read, workout hours, or focus on your next career moves that takes away from the heartache


Great Expectations quote that could never be truer:

She'll only break your heart, it's a fact. And even though I warn you, even though I guarantee you that the girl will only hurt you terribly, you'll still pursue her. Ain't love grand?


So in a few months these feelings will be a memory and you will be alone or with someone new

And these feelings may be repeated or, if you are lucky, a distant memory


So if sometimes you are dating and hit the lows

These quotes will reveal even more of your soul:


Some of the highlights learned from powerful quotes on goodreads:


Was it hard?" I ask.
Letting go?"

Not as hard as holding on to something that wasn't real.”

Lisa Schroeder


Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.”
Mark Twain



So for those of you who have overcome heartbreak-Rock on!

For those of you who have experienced love-Rock on!

And for those of you going through it; it's only temporary-Rock on!

More great thoughts on heartache

When you experience heartbreak to you

See results

RECOVERY:

Now for those of you that have a quick recovery time and can go from love to heartbreak to dating in 60 seconds or less: kudos. Learning to pick up the pieces and/or enforce the players rules are most important.

#1-Know what you want out of the relationship early. It should only take a few dates (at max) to determine if this person is fun, future potential, or the real deal.

#2-Never stop meeting and dating other people until you have an official commitment conversation wherein both parties agrees to date exclusively. It doesn't matter that it feels like love or how close you are to that other person. If you give off the vibe that you are taken to the other person, and they have made no commitment, you leave yourself in a state of being thrown to the side.

#3-Compromise but don't change the essence of who you are. Stick to your needs and make those needs clear by words and actions. Your message verbally and non-verbally should be the same. Compromise does not mean your needs remain on the back-burner because you will resent the person you love instead of taking ownership for your failure to find your needs to be of importance. No one told you to put someone else's needs about yours when your partner does not practice the same.

#4-Bounce back. What good is having a heart if it can be broke. Toughen up a little bit on the inside. No one can make or break you. People you date are elected participants in your life who remain dismissible at any point that you deem necessary. Don't be careless with anyone else's heart (and most importantly) don't let anyone be wreck-less with yours.

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