- Gender and Relationships
How to Keep Single Women away from Married Men
"ALL'S FAIR WHEN LOVE IS WAR"
OK. So a few days ago I was watching a Lifetime movie about a woman who literally sued another woman for breaking up her marriage. The now ex-wife won quite a large sum of money, too. Even though the idea seems ludicrous, it was an actual law on the books in her state. She was well within reason, too, since the woman made it a point to go after her husband knowing full well that he was happily married. Perhaps this wouldn’t have bothered me so much if it wasn’t such a normal case. There are several single women out there who go after married men. (Make no mistake about it either ladies; some married women go after married men as well!) I haven’t even been married three-years yet and I’ve already experienced it! Needless to say, I had no problem letting her know that I had no intention of allowing anyone to break-up my family and if anything was going to be broken it was going to be her face. Maybe I have great perception or maybe it’s just woman’s intuition but I am extremely good at knowing when someone is attracted to my significant other. So, in the spirit of a united front of housewives I thought I’d give a few of my tips on how to spot a home-wrecker.
First of all, your husband should have no female friend with whom he is closer to than you. I don’t care if he knew her since birth. I don’t care if she’s married. I don’t care if she’s a mutual friend. When he decided to take the vow with you then you became not only his wife but his best friend as well. Now, that’s not to say that your husband can’t have a female friend just that she is no longer his best friend. This means:
· NO late night conversations
· NO hanging out just the two of them
· NO lunch/dinner dates just to catch up
· NO rushing to comfort her in her time of need without you
Some of you may think this is a bit extreme, but trust me when I tell you that it is always the one you least expect. Now, this doesn’t mean that you can’t trust your husband or his “friend” but you better set some boundaries girlfriend before you’re dropping off the kids at her house for weekend visits to their father.
Secondly, know who’s around your husband when you’re not. He’s going to hang out with his friends? Then by all means go and have a good time. However, as a wife I have a RIGHT; yes a RIGHT to know where you are going. I also have a RIGHT to expect you home at a reasonable hour. Also, when dealing with trips and things of that nature, watch for the small signs:
· How often does he go?
· Is it always with the same friend/friends or does it change up? (Chances are he’s using whichever friend that can offer an alibi at the time)
· Did a lot of “crazy” stuff happen while he was gone? (This is a sign he’s probably making stuff up to hide what really happened.)
· When did these trips start and why?
Don’t be a snooping wife and let the man have some space. He doesn’t have to call and check-in every hour, but don’t be a STUPID wife, either. Trust is essential to all relationships but so is respect. Don’t confuse the two and allow yourself to be disrespected simply because you don’t want to be accused of mistrust, which brings me to my third point.
The Happy Couple
If at any time you question your husband about his relationship with a co-worker, friend, etc. and he answers you with questions….need I say more? Ladies, if your husband has nothing to hide he is not going to jump down your throat for making an observation. Like I said, we know when someone is into our husbands and we are allowed to point that out. If he starts acting like you’ve accused him of something then that’s a guilty conscience talking. It can be as simple as thinking she’s attractive, too, or flirting behind your back but something is there so get to the bottom of it and get Ms. Thing out of his life. Also, beware of Mr. Too-Cool-About-It and Ms. Shocked-You-Think-I-Like-Him. Speaking of co-workers……
Know who your husband works with. No, you don’t need to check up on him at work, but be aware of who he’s around on a daily basis. You don’t have to know a woman personally to know her type. A few words in a conversation can tell you what you’re looking for. Beware of the co-worker trying to interject herself in to your family life. The one who is overly eager to watch the kids or just happens to have all the same interest that you have and wants to hang out at your house all the time is a no-go. She works with your husband so why does she want to get to know you better? Hint: To become the one you least expect. And on that note….
Let your friends be YOUR friends. She can be close enough to help him with a surprise for you but distant enough that they don’t talk unless she’s around you or its concerning you. If she’s staying over then when you leave the house she leaves the house. And if she needs a place to stay you can help her out temporarily but let her know that you have a family (even if there are no children) and give her a time limit to leave from the very beginning.
In summation, trust is important between you and your husband. Beware of who you extend that trust to outside of your marriage. There are plenty of women who want to take your place or just want to be that woman on the side because it benefits them in some way. Don’t be naïve to these women. It’s a dog eat dog world out there, beware of the bitches.