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How Do I Flirt With Women

Updated on July 18, 2013

How Do I Flirt With Women?

I assume that since you are reading this you are either new at flirting or a shy guy that wants answers to the question "How do I flirt with women?"

In this lens you should learn how to approach and flirt with women. How to overcome shyness and reduce the fear of rejection. (Rejection is something that happens to all of us and we all are anxious about that.)

<-------- Oh Yeah - She is Interested!

This is a long lens so you might want to get a large cup of coffee or whatever.

If you are unsure which woman to start with please read my signs-a-woman-attracted and women-signals-of-attraction sister lenses.

P.S. For the image above - the interested woman - my brother John would say something like "Those are nice, but I want to get to know you first to see if I like you enough." This does two things, it brings up the subject of sex, gets her thinking about it and it tells her you are confident enough to not worry about it - there are plenty of women in your life. This really increases your attractiveness.

Interested but not sure.
Interested but not sure.

Flirt With Women

Good Flirting Advice - From Women

What Women Want From Flirting Guys

Woman want 5 things from guys:




Be Proactive

Fun to be around

They want and need EXCITEMENT!

It is simple really, women want to have fun with a confident guy (Confidence), they want one that is in demand - they want a guy who knows himself and what he wants and knows how to get it (Proactive.) They want an "in demand" kind of guy because he has already been approved. They want to date a "bad boy" type because he is fun (Fun to be Around.) and he is exciting to be around and just a bit forbidding.

They want to marry a "nice guy" because he will be there for her. They want a fun guy that makes them feel they are the most special girl in the world. They want a guy that pays attention and notices and really listens to them (Presence.)

To gain confidence if you are a shy guy start by saying "Hi," "Good Morning," or something along that line to everyone you meet, every day. Not everyone will respond, of course, but some will. After a while you will hear "Hi" or "Good Morning" said to you. Soon you will be able to talk to women just as if we were human too.

Practice on your co-workers. Greet them, talk to them just as if it were natural and soon it will be.

Flirting With A Woman - How To Flirt With Women

Here are some helpful books as most men don't really do it right

Young woman flirting with hair
Young woman flirting with hair

Approaching Women

When to approach women - Only when YOU are ready to!

Getting Your Mind Set

Step 1 - Mental Attitude

In order to succeed at flirting you must have the correct mental outlook.

1) You are the prize - not her!

2) You are here for fun!

3) She will have a good time with you!

4) For the moment - no agenda just fun, later you may ask her for a date but not right now.

5) If things don't work out you tell her to have a great time and walk away with a smile. This

shows confidence and may make her re-think her decision (if she is capable of thought.:-)

6) Lose your self consciousness - just leave it at home for now.

7) Remember men use logic to communicate, women use emotions and feelings - keep that in mind at all times, you must make her FEEL that she is having a good time.

Step 2 - Eye Contact

For any really effective flirting communication to take place you must have good eye contact. Watch for her to either flash her eyebrows at you or to gaze at you for 3-4 seconds. You should return the gaze until she drops her eyes and glances back to see if you are still interested.

Eye contact is highly important, it tells her that you are interested in her and very aware of her presence, which is very important to us. Remember not to stare - this creeps women out. Just make sure to use the 3-4 second gaze - PRACTICE IT!

Step 3 - Smile

That says it all, just smile. It will make you seem like a fun, happy person and who doesn't want to be with a fun person.

Step 4 - Encouragement to approach.

If she is interested she will open herself up to you by squaring her shoulders to you, perhaps

leaning in a bit toward you or showing her wrists by playing with her hair. She may cross her

legs to show off her thighs and point her knee or foot toward you.

You Just Got The Green Light

Woman showing full attention
Woman showing full attention

The Approach

Not What She Expects

OK she gave you encouragement to approach so go approach - but not like everyone else. Let's get this straight right now YOU don't need permission to approach - you can walk up and talk to any one you want, you have that kind of confidence in yourself.

Walk tall and confidently. Walk slower than most of the other men and make your gestures slower. You are the confident, in charge guy she hopes to hook up with.

Smile at her as you approach and look at her clothes. Ask her - "Do you buy all your clothes" hesitate then "at Pennys" wait just long enough for her to look shocked or irate them smile and say "Or Neiman-Marcus?" Or something like that. 90% of the guys that approach her will compliment her and she is used to hearing how pretty she is, etc.

My brothers would use "I really like your whatever where did you get it? Something like that would look good on my brother over there, don't you think?" and when she looked shocked he would grin and wink then the conversation would go on from there.

You start by teasing her - this disarms her defense mechanism and tells her that you are here for fun. Then you ask her name.

Just ask for her name. What ever name she gives you say something along the line of "Out of the 5 Nancys I know you have the kindest eyes of them all." Using the name she gave you of course. This type of talk tells her you are not needy, there are other women in your life and she can just have fun.

Compliment her in a fun way. "Your sunburn really brings out the color of your eyes." is one my older brother used a lot during the summer. Or a corny "I didn't know angels could get sunburned." and then smile and wink.

If she asks an important question hesitate just a bit before answering this gives the impression that you are really considering the answer, it makes her feel smarter.

Young Woman Pointing With Knee
Young Woman Pointing With Knee

How do I Flirt With Women - Conversation

Talk to Her in a Special Way

Talk to her as if she is you little bratty sister, be sassy, be funny and be present. She needs to FEEL that she is the only one in the room with you. She needs to know she has your full attention, that you are truly focused on her alone. Trust me that is VERY important.

Continue the conversation in the same vein. Just have a fun teasing conversation and maintain eye contact.

Never look below her chin - she knows you have checked her out and like what you see or you wouldn't be talking to her.

Ask her what she does and does she enjoy her job, get her to talk about herself and her accomplishments - women love to talk about themselves.

Pay attention to her body language at all times - this will tell you how you are doing. If she leans into you good you are doing something right.

If she leans away or starts looking away get back on the track you were on when she leaned into you.

If she crosses her legs with the knee pointing at you good. If she crosses the legs the other way back up a bit or slow down.

When she is facing you almost straight on and crosses her leg so that it more or less pinning you in - you are doing great, keep it up.

Be positive in your conversation and your outlook, your body language will reflect this. After all you are just here for the fun of it!

In the image above notice how her right knee is hemming him in, there is just the 2 of them now and he has her full attention!

Woman Mirroring
Woman Mirroring

To Flirt With A Woman - Be a Mirror

Reflect Her

Mirroring shows great rapport! It extends the feelings of closeness.

Mirroring usually occurs when one person is facing right at another. It is mostly used by lovers, people with high familiarity or interest in one-another. Mirroring her will get you closer together and make her feel good about you.

Subtly start mirroring her - I mean really mirroring. At home look in the mirror as you hold up a glass, if you are right-handed to mirror you would use your left hand. At the bar or wherever if she uses her right hand you use your left hand to mirror her. She adjusts her hair you touch yours in the same place.

Don't copy every move she makes, she may catch on. Just mirror the important body language one, the flirty ones that you can do. For example you don't want to raise your shoulder and look at her over it, that would look creepy.

If she caresses her throat, you can adjust your collar, if she tilts her head to expose her neck you can tilt our head to keep eye contact, if she licks her lips you look at her mouth and lick you lips - she is wondering what it would be like to kiss you and you just said you would give her the opportunity.

All during this keep an eye on her body language to make sure you are keeping her attention.

As I said mirroring shows great rapport, it shows that we have made a connection. She will begin to feel that you are someone that could be special in her life!

Using the image above you should have your right hand on your earlobe ;-)

Get over here and talk to me
Get over here and talk to me

Flirting a Woman by Touching

Gentle Touches to Increase Excitement

Attraction is built by touching if you don't touch her sooner or later the attraction you've built up will fade as she starts wondering what is wrong.

Never linger - just touch her on the arm briefly to emphasize a point or pat her hand. Guide her with your hand on the small of her back. Take her arm to guide her to a quieter place, if possible. This tells her that you are in charge.

By touching you have weakened her automatic defenses and deepened the connection.

The next step is to get her number "So I can text you" is always a better way than "call you" If it doesn't work out she can always block your number, but that is a whole new lens.

What issues are you experiencing with flirting - So I can try to answer them

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      4 years ago

      Thanks for these great tips! so far, I've no problems with mine but will surely apply some of these tips for more fish to catch. I've also found this site very helpful and would also like to suggest you guys to visit this. These are expert advice and also amazingly effective tips! I didn't even know how I did get my girlfriend from being such a boring guy but, I'm pretty sure contributed much to that. lol! Anyway, for more infos. visit the site and see for yourself!


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