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- Advice & Tips for Men in Relationships
being a little more confident part 2
so in my last article, we looked at the basics of why we can have self esteem issues. We also looked at one great way of overcoming self esteem issues.
if you did not get a chance to read that yet, you can find it here
in that article, I told you that everyday you should be repeating affirmation phrases to yourself in your head. Now I want you to actually do something that others can see!
I want you to engage others more socially. I don't, however, want you to do something completely over the top and drastic for your personality. Remember, people know who you are, whether you know this or not. They know how you act, and how you respond to things. So don't go and try to be someone completely different from your normal self on the first day.
example: a normal shy guy who doesn't really talk much to people, is now running around his school/work doing things that even most outgoing people don't do...like dancing crazily when no music is audible.
So here's how it is. Be yourself. I know what you're thinking though....I don't like myself, that is why I'm reading your post. I want to be more confident....I understand all this, but we are looking at the inner confidence of who you already are.
I assume all of you reading have a few things in common...you either A: want a boyfriend/girlfriend, B: want more friends period. C: want to be more noticed/popular, or D: all of the above.
you can do all this without completely changing your whole personality. Now if you don't like your personality, that is a different story, but we just want a confidence boost to talk to that girl or boy you like, make some new friends, etc.
SMALL STEPS. Start small. You have been reassuring yourself that people like you, now it's time to see that first hand. I want you to make eye contact with people, and smile. It does not have to be a creepy thing, just a friendly hi, or smile to someone. Don't be random about it. If you notice that you and someone else make eye contact, just simply nod your head as to say hi, or smile at the person to let them know, you are not shy. You don't ever even have to really say anything to the person. Here's the trick though, most people when they make eye contact, immediately look away. Not because they think they got caught looking at the person they like, but rather because the feel either, intimidated, embarrassed, or something else. Maintain eye contact. at least for a second or two. No need to stare, but look just long enough so the other person knows you're not afraid of social contact.
There will be a part three soon focusing on more exercises for you to practice. Until then, practice this! Be comfortable with making very light contact with other people.