How To Deal With A Narcissist And Protect Yourself From Abuse
Narcissism - the risks and how to overcome them.
Narcissistic relationships bring with them huge risks to those around them because their behavior is a manifestation of an excessive ego and self absorption at the cost of everyone around them. Over the years, if this behavior doesn't change, it generally results in a codependent, emotionally draining and abusive relationship. In all cases it leads to emotional abuse and sometimes it leads to physical abuse as one of the following videos will illustrate.
If you feel you must stay in a narcissistic relationships you will need to learn how to deal with a narcissist and it will require lots of energy and work, because narcissists are in constant need for outside support and approval. Once these needs are fulfilled they feel powerful, but many times this need will be very hard to be satisfied and the self image and the peace of the partner may be dramatically impacted.
However, it's important for you to know that you do not have to be the victim of narcissism forever. You don't have to lose your confidence, self image, hope and passion for life because you are in a relationship with a narcissist. You can learn the skills to move beyond the downside effects of your narcissistic relationship and move on to a more normal relationship.
Stick with me now and I'll introduce you to what narcissism is, how to recognize if your partner may be a narcissist, how to deal with your narcissistic partner and protect yourself, and where you can get further top class information and help.
Narcissistic Relationships - An Introduction
The increase of narcissism in our society poses a serious threat to the health of any relationship. In the short television interview below Dr. Bill Baker describes the "road signs" of a narcissistic lifestyle and discusses the process of change and survival in narcissistic relationships.
Narcissistic Relationships - The Signs Of Narcissism.
The first step is to recognize the signs.
Narcissists have a grandiose sense of self-importance, like they have a special mission on this earth and they often have a 'I am the emperor' type of personality, and they expect all others should behave as humble servants of their wishes.
Narcissists will indulge in fantasies of tremendous power, success or beauty, being addicted to the attention and admiration that others manifest. You will find much snobbery between them which they do not deny it but rather be proud of it.
They see themselves as unique masterpieces. Complicated rather than complex personalities, they will find it difficult to empathize with other people.
They always exaggerate their achievements and talents making everything in their power to gain everybody's attention and recognition. Most of the times they are arrogant and self absorbed to fulfill what they see as their special destiny.
They can't actually go out of the margins of their own personality, not understanding how people don't think the same as they do. That's why many times you may have the feeling of talking to a blank wall because no matter how deep you explain your point of view, most likely a narcissist will not understand.
They often can't maintain long relationships, because they lack empathy and most times people around them give up on explaining themselves over and over again.
Narcissists tend to transform their partners in beggars - you will beg for understanding and some unconditional attention but most of the time you will celebrate only leftovers from the feast in which the narcissist has indulged.
Narcissists expect and demand that the ones nearest and dearest to them, love, admire, tolerate, and cater to their needs. They expect others to be at their immediate disposal.
Narcissistic Relationships - You Must Protect Yourself!
This is your first priority if you have a narcissistic partner.
If you're in a narcissistic relationship it's essential that you protect yourself, from many areas that you will be under attack. Some of these types of abuse are:
The verbally abusive and controlling narcissist - the one who uses emotional abuse as his weapon of choice. He tells his victim who she can see, think and do. Or in the case of Janet, whose husband makes her recite every day, "I'm only worth 29 cents - the price of a bullet," and in doing so he erodes her self-worth to nothing to keep her under his control.
Who else could possible want such a worthless woman? With that belief formed, she will never leave him for good, although she makes many brief attempts to do so. The brainwashing that continues daily is emotionally exhausting, draining, and vastly unhealthy.
Verbal abuse is hurtful and usually attacks the nature and abilities of the partner. Over time, the partner may begin to believe that there is something wrong with her / her abilities. She may come to feel that she is the problem, rather than her partner.
Verbal abuse is often insidious. The partner's self-esteem gradually diminishes, usually without her realizing it's happening. She may consciously or unconsciously try to change her behavior so as not to upset the abuser.
Normally a narcissist stays within the law, but may break the rules of morality of a society. Narcissist are careful about it because, even if they do not feel guilty, they want to avoid the shame of discovery.
The sexual relationship with the narcissist is peculiar. Narcissists are exhibitionists and sex is just one further means of being admired to her or him. True intimacy doesn't and you will frequently feel used. The narcissist will demand that you subdue yourself to their wishes.
Narcissistic individuals do not tend to be physically abusive although there are some out there that are. Usually their worst weapon is their mouth. With their mouth they spit verbal negations and dispense emotional abuse. Their vocal cords are their method of attempting to control others.
However you need to know that physical abuse is not unknown, and sometimes it can be extreme as the following short video illustrates.
Narcissistic Relationships Can Be Improved.
(But it will take detailed knowledge and considerable effort.)
Since narcissists cannot be changed without a lot of effort, you need to reevaluate your needs and long term goals for the relationship - it may be interesting for a while to be around such type of people but in the long run it gets exhausting and anger and resentment will overshadow any feelings of love and tenderness.
Don't give in to their never-ending demands, keep your independence from this type of person - if in any way you depend on them, they will blackmail you to make you give in to their desires.
Don't let yourself be infuriated by their lack of empathy or understanding - they are not capable of it. Showing them their incapacity will do nothing - they will blame you for everything that it doesn't work.
Narcissists will be attached to those that satisfy their needs but will never treat them as partners but as followers. They have the need to lead and be in control constantly - they do not need equals but disciples or pleasers. The worst thing that can happen is when one narcissist meets someone with low self-esteem - it will be the perfect victim and toy for them.
Finally, you need to decide when enough is enough and move out of the relationship. A relationship with a narcissist can take you places where you do not want to be, can make you behave in ways you do not recognize yourself . It can undermine your self esteem and will rob you of the attention you need to give to yourself trying to meet all their needs.
The Experts Recommend:
All the experienced experts in preventing narcissistic abuse make two vital recommendations:
1) If at all possible, walk away (leave) your narcissistic abuser.
2) If that's not possible due to constraints of your employment, wider family, children or love, you must, repeat must, take advantage of the support and resources available to learn how to deal with a narcissist, and in doing so discover how to protect yourself from ongoing emotional, mental and sometimes physical harm.
Please take action TODAY to protect yourself!
Full Service Support For The Victims Of Narcissistic Abuse
Providing two excellent ebooks ready for immediate download, a free support and coaching forum, and individual counseling services, www.Stop-The-Abuse.info is my top recommendation for anyone in a narcissistic relationship.
Please take a moment and click the blue www.Stop-The-Abuse.info link below to learn more about your narcissistic relationship, how to protect yourself and how to deal with a narcissistic partner.