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How To Pick Up Artistic Girls

Updated on April 23, 2010

Artistic girls all have long hair and sunken cheekbones and hate it when you use the words "pecker" and "unguent", especially in the same sentence. So if you want to pick up artistic girls, never do that.

Artistic girls like to discuss brush strokes and surrealism and linear composition, then take you back to their lofts, show you their bullfight posters, and frost your cake, if you get my drift.

Before this can happen, though, you must get artistic girls to notice you.

How To Get Artistic Girls To Notice You

Pablo Picasso could get artistic girls to notice him by smashing a tomato on a piece of paper, then saying, "Here, I've painted your portrait." Maybe this will work for you, maybe not. These other things may turn out better.

1. Draw a picture of a famous person on your thighs, then walk up to an artistic girl, drop your pants, and say, "I'd like you to meet Charles de Gaulle."

2. Ask an artistic girl if she wants to pose for a picture you are painting. Tell her you are calling it, "Girl Having Twelve Orgasms."

3. Scotch-tape a pigeon to your head and tell an artistic girl that you are building a living mural, then ask if she wants to climb aboard.

4. Confide to an artistic girl that you are an art student and that you'd like to submit her buttocks for your final exam in "Sculpture 101".

5. Go into a bar where artistic girls are known to hang out and call for volunteers to go back to your studio and form an obscene mobile.

Photo courtesy of Oliver Gruener
Photo courtesy of Oliver Gruener

Have you ever picked up an Artistic Girl?

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    • Cheeky Girl profile image

      Cassandra Mantis 7 years ago from UK and Nerujenia

      Yes, picked up a girl in a gallery once. Still with her today! Truth!

    • loua profile image

      loua 5 years ago from Elsewhere, visiting Earth ~ the segregated community planet

      Now, it seems as though this mechanical wooing stuff might be all well and good; but spontaneity in every event is the root to successful intercourse, within the vibrations of a connection, that is titillating to both recipients. In the final analysis one should not have to wonder whether, "polite and honest conversation is enough to elicit the heart..." It is not the words per se but the way they are used to evoke interest in a discovery of what one senses to be of interest...

      Myn, all and all the piece was very well played, it was funny and well done...

    • Ethan Green profile image

      Ethan Green 5 years ago from England

      Excellent! I just found this post after answering your sleep question. It's very funny:-)

      Can't say I'll be trying any of your suggestions out any time soon, but if I'm ever in an art gallery and desperate, I'll be sure to open this bookmark on my mobile...

      Ethan

    • tapasrecipe profile image

      tapasrecipe 5 years ago from Spanish tapas land

      Hi Myn Is Me,

      now you are a funny lady, love this series and had to share it, i think people need a laugh.

      take care Carrie x

    • profile image

      idratherbe 5 years ago

      Happily married for many years now. Where were these suggestions when I was dating!lol Loved the humor!:0)

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