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How To Pick Up Weird Girls

Updated on May 3, 2010

It is easy to spot weird girls.

If you are in a bar and want to find a weird girl, just look for someone lapping beer from a knapsack or standing on a table and reciting Chaucer in pig-Latin.

If you are at a party and want to find a weird girl, just look for someone having a picture of an Eskimo pie tattooed onto her tongue or leading a cleavage growing race.

If you are walking the streets and want to find a weird girl, just look for someone with her clothes on backwards or trying to look into her mouth without a mirror. Like bad checks and doggie poop, weird girls are everywhere.

It is not especially difficult to meet a weird girl, unless you are not on her wavelength.

How To Determine If You Are On A Weird Girl's Wavelength

It is easy to determine if you are on a weird girl's wavelength. Just ask her one of the Four Standard Questions. You have a problem if she answers "Huh?" You are golden if she answers "Oh wow." Just ask her:

1. I am an alien. Would you like to see my space ship?

2. I know that you are an alien. Can I see your space ship?

3. Want to look for an alien and get into his space ship?

4. Would you like to smoke my Toyota?

Once you lock into a weird girl's wavelength, you've got to get her interested in you. You've got to make her want to come home with you. You can do this by:

1. Gently taking her head into your mouth.

2. Telling her, "I live inside a tuna fish."

3. Double-bagging her breasts.

4. Telling her, "I work as a hood ornament."

5. Pointing to her loins, then pointing to your loins, then making a motion like a fish flopping on a beach.

6. Telling her, "This is my last night ashore. Later, I'm leaving for Uranus. Come with me."

Photo courtesy of Nara Vieira da Silva Osga
Photo courtesy of Nara Vieira da Silva Osga

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    • Docmo profile image

      Mohan Kumar 5 years ago from UK

      These are hilarious, Myn , you crack me up. Cheeky girl is right about the zaniness. Did you smoke a Toyota? Huh? Voted up- funny.

    • Cheeky Girl profile image

      Cassandra Mantis 7 years ago from UK and Nerujenia

      I squeaked with laughter reading this hub! Some of these are just great! "...Pointing to her loins, then pointing to your loins, then making a motion like a fish flopping on a beach..." Hilarious. You have an insane yet zany fresh sense of humor! Priceless! Rating you up again!