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How to Stop Obsessing Over An Ex Girlfriend - Cure Oneitis With Your Ex

Updated on April 14, 2017
obsessing over an ex girlfriend
obsessing over an ex girlfriend

You're broken up, you're hurt, you can't stop obsessing over your ex.

And it's understandable.

Breaking up with your ex girlfriend is a very painful experience.

It can give you an overwhelming burst of emotions and it feels like apocalypse has come.

Even though you "logically" know it isn't the end of the world, it totally feels like it.

You can't get her out of your thoughts. You keep replaying the past loving experiences you had with her. You keep remembering all the times you were intimate. You two where so compatible!

And to think it is all over...

If this is you, I'm here to tell you that what you're going through is very common and a natural experience every man faces during a break up in their life.

I know because I've been there! Plus I've seen this cycle repeat over and over again with thousands of men around the world.

That's why I'm going to show you how to stop obsessing over an ex girlfriend. I want to help you go through this so that you come out on top... and so that you don't lose a girl like this again.

Why do we feel so bad when a special girl leaves us?

The reason is that you are ADDICTED to the bond you had with your girl. See, you are used to getting loving texts from her every day... receiving her love and affection... and providing validation to your self-esteem...

But now... the connection has been broken. The validation has been removed like a rug pulled from under your feet, and you don't know how you can ever recover to find happiness again. (At least your brain thinks this)

Because of this, you've been struggling getting her out of your thoughts.

You see, most men catch *oneitis* when they break up with girlfriends.

Oneitis is a condition when all you can think about is ONE girl.

You basically get "tunnel-vision" for one girl because you think she's

the only girl in the world for you.

You constantly obsess about her, you fantasize about her, you dream about her, she's like a brain parasite!

When you're in this state of mind, however, it diminishes your chances of ever getting your ex back.

Because if she's constantly in your head, that means you're way too DEPENDENT on her, and you will behave needy and desperate.

It's IMPOSSIBLE to re-attract her back if she senses you desperately need her back.

Women aren't attracted to desperate men.

If you're ever going to get her back, you must recover and start learning how to create positive emotions on your own. Without her.

That's the ONLY way you can set a solid foundation of strength that will make her realize you aren't the needy little boy she wasn't attracted to anymore

But this obsessive oneitis is stopping you from recovering from the break up.

And it's stopping you from getting her back.

That's why it's important to get out of obsessive oneitis.

Here are 3 keys to do it.

3 Keys to Stopping Obsessive Oneitis

1. Oneitis is a "Scarcity Problem" That Makes You Weak and Unattractive

To get out of oneitis, you need to learn what causes it.

Oneitis is what I call a "scarcity problem"... because it comes from a scarcity mentality.

You start thinking in terms of "scarcity" when you LACK SOMETHING.

What do you lack?

You lack sources of happiness.

Remember how I said how you depend too much on your girlfriend for validation to your self-esteem? Well when your girlfriend leaves you and pulls the rug of validation from under your feet, your self-esteem deflates and you have this big emptiness inside of you.

This happens because you were too dependent on the woman for your self-esteem.

And now that you don't have her as your girlfriend anymore, you feel empty inside.

You depend on a girl for positive emotions. You've got to stop this stranglehold she has on your brain.

The best way to do this is to...

Start Talking to Other Women

Once you begin to convince your brain that there are other options out there, you start injecting "abundance" into the equation and your oneitis starts to diminish.

Yeah, yeah, I know your ex is "special"... and 90% of your brain can't imagine seeing other girls.

But that's only an ILLUSION that the scarcity is creating.

And if you want to maximize your chances of getting your ex girlfriend back, you must knock her off the pedestal you have her on in your mind.

As soon as you begin the "no contact" phase with your ex, start focusing your mind on other women.

The more you go into abundance, the more you allow your mind to open up to envisioning a world of many options, and the faster your needy scarcity feelings go away.

This is the foundation you create for YOURSELF.

It's the best way to move on and get past your breakup.

Creating this foundation of abundance for yourself allows you to move on, gets you back on the horse of behaving like an attractive man, and then it even might re-attract your ex in the future.

Because once your ex realizes you're ok without her, and sees you interacting with other women, she will begin to think of you differently.

See, people look at the past with rose-colored glasses. Once the bad feelings are gone, they mostly remember the good feelings.

So when your ex girlfriend thinks of the past she had with you, she will remember the good times, and then since you're not acting weak anymore, she will become even more attracted.

2. A Woman's Feelings For You Aren't "Set in Stone"

If she said "I don't have feelings for you anymore"... it was only valid at the time she said it.

This means you can change her opinion of you... if you carry yourself in the right manner. This means an abundance mindset and knowing how to create attraction.

Which brings us to the third key...

3. To Get Her Back, You Need to "Get" How Attraction "Works" So You Can Trigger Attraction in Her Like Before

Making your ex girlfriend want you back depends on you having the ability to trigger attraction in her.

Towards the end of your relationship, you did weak behaviors that made her lose attraction. I hope this article opened your eyes to what those behaviors are.

I also talked about the importance of using an abundance mentality to eliminate needy oneitis feelings, and make you come across more attractive.


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    • Maryam Rehman profile image

      Maryam Rehman 

      3 years ago from Pakistan

      Life is full of ups and downs. one should learn to "let go" of what wasn't meant to be theirs in the first place

    • dashingscorpio profile image


      3 years ago from Chicago

      An "ex" is an "ex" for a reason!

      Truth be told when it comes to love and relationships most of us (fail our way) to success. If this were not so we'd all be married to our high school sweethearts!

      The first thing I believe one needs to do to get over an ex is to accept that it's over! You can't "move on" until you "let go".

      One of the main reasons why people find it so hard to get over an ex is because they really don't want to get over them!

      Secretly they're hoping somehow someway they'll reconcile.

      Stop looking at your ex relationship with "rose tinted glasses".

      In order for your (ex) to have been "the one" (she) would have had to see (you) as being "the one".

      At the very least a "soul-mate" is someone who actually WANTS to be with you! (And vice versa)

      "Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary."

      - Oscar Wilde

      Whenever someone dumps you they're saying "I believe I can do better than (you)." or "I would be happier (without you) in my life!"

      However once you accept something is truly OVER you put away all of your reminders, unfriend them in your social media, avoid going places they frequent, delete email and phone contact, focus on YOU, things, hobbies/interests, and people you may have neglected while you were in the relationship.

      Note: Don't accept friendship as a "consolation prize".

      Your ex is the last person who can help you get over her!

      Whenever a person "dumps" someone and offers to be their friend they're doing so as to not feel like the "bad guy".

      The "dumped person" often stupidly believes by being "friends" they might have an opportunity to get them back. WRONG!

      The second heartache comes when their ex finds a new man!

      Two things one needs to remember.

      That person who you feel you can't live without... just know this there are over (7 Billion) of us who are doing exactly that!

      In fact (you) use to be one of us!

      Your future lies ahead of you and not behind you.

      Every ending is a new beginning!


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