- Gender and Relationships
How To Survive A Relationship
A Lovers guide to Love, Success and Happiness
Have you ever wondered how to live happy and be in a relationship? I sure have, I've read all the books, asked all the questions, and experienced using the tips first hand. I am going to put all of it together in one easy to read, and won't bore you.
Its all your fault
When your fighting with your "significant other" im sure your constantly thinking "Im right, your wrong now get over it" but to be in a healthy relationship, this isn't always the right approach. When your fighting with him or her, think to yourself "am I overreacting or taking this to far?" A lot of times I find myself fighting with my boyfriend over things he can't change or do anything about, why would I fight with him over something that isn't even his fault? Why do I do this, probably because I feel so close with him that I tend to take things out on him. I look at him like he is my super hero so I expect him to be able to fix anything and everything, but he just can't. The sooner I realized this, the better of a relationship I had.
Don't expect too much
Sometimes you have to accept things for what they are, I have a problem with the fact that my boyfriend has been with other woman. I don't know why I feel the way I do, I just have very high expectations. Having high expectations is good, but only to a certain point. You have to hold up to your expectations with still accepting people for who they are. When you are having high expectations, some people mistaken that for something its not and start to judge people based on past history. Times have unfortunately changed and we don't get married at 18 to the first man or woman we ever had feelings for, thats just not the way it is anymore. I have learned to accept the history of my boyfriend, and decided there is a reason Im the current girl in his life and not one of the past girls.
Friends to lovers
I believe the best relationship is starting in the friend stage and working up to the lovers stage. As friends you will discover more about your "other" than you would if you just jumped into a relationship. As friends you get to know the person on a deeper level because there is no awkwardness as just friends. Me and my boyfriend started off with me dating his not so great friend, we became really close friends. Once me and the "friend" broke up, we continued to be good friends and developed into a relationship. It was great, because we already knew a lot about each other so there wasn't any awkward situations.
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Don't try to change
It is very important that you don't attempt to change someone. You don't want to be controlling in a relationship, you need to love your other for what he/she might be. If your other has baggage from past relationships, family, ect. be understanding, don't judge. Instead guide and be a shoulder to lean on. You need to let people be themselves, changing someone can result in hate and an unsuccessful relationship.
The most important part of your relationship is trust, without it there is nothing. When he/she sets his phone down and leaves the room, you shouldn't be tempted to search through it.In past relationships I've had the mandatory "open phone" policy, demanding anyone I was with must be willing to allow at any time a phone search. It didn't work out so well, but I trust my boyfriend and actually don't want to look through his phone because I love the feeling of having that trust.
Surprise Them With a Just-Because Gift
DON'T Wait for that "Special Occassion!" Surprise him or her with a Gift Set... Just Because!