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How to Survive in a Relationship

Updated on September 18, 2014
Tashaonthetown profile image

Natasha Pelati began with publishing three books of poetry and with the help of psychology can write on real life experiences.

Relationships are not always about romance and a knight in shining armour coming to rescue you
Relationships are not always about romance and a knight in shining armour coming to rescue you

 A few easy steps to work on your relationship

Every women dreams of her perfect man as a romantic, loving and adoring guy, that will do anything in the name of love. He will be a gallant and brave prince, riding along on his white stallion to rescue us. He will do anything in his power to please and make you happy.

We have a fairytale idea of romance and relationships lurking in our heads and what I will tell you is that we are in for a huge disappointment.

Unfortunately we do not live in the fairytale world where there is always a happy ending and while we were watching fairy tales, the boys were out playing cops and robbers.

Men have no idea on what we really want in a relationship and there are a few romantics out there but do not be fooled by the "new broom" because once you are married and in a relationship for life, that little bit of romance is no longer in existence.

Communicate your feelings to your partner so that they know what is going on
Communicate your feelings to your partner so that they know what is going on

Communication

Nobody in a relationship is telepathic. You do not know what your partner is thinking and neither does he. Men do not know romance the way that we do and in order to get what you want, you need to communicate your issues.

Do not hold it in and then have an outburst as he will have no idea what you are doing. Sit down with your partner and peacefully air out your issues and ask him if he understands what you mean and let him know that you both need to communicate in order to understand each others needs.

Communication is so important in a relationship and you need to be able to discuss issues with your partner as well as feel safe enough to do so without having arguments about your conversation.

Letting each other know how you feel and what could make you feel better is crucial in having a good, healthy relationship so that you can fully understand each other.

If you feel that you cannot talk to your partner then reconsidering your relationship should be on the cards as it will never work without having to speak freely and honestly about your emotions and thoughts.

Without trust there is no relationship
Without trust there is no relationship

Trust

Be honest about everything. Relationships are based on trust and if you are open and honest with each other, than you will make your relationship easier.

Do not keep secrets and do not keep old naked photo's that you will deny ever knowing existed. This will cause insecurities in your relationship. If you see a beautiful woman, the chances are your spouse has seen her too and she has noticed that you have taken a look. Do not deny that you have!

It's alright to look at the menu as long as you do not order.

Trust is the base of every healthy relationship and in order to trust your partner there can be no lies and you must be open with each other at all times or your relationship will never feel secure.

Be honest from the very beginning, talk about your past and don't lie about anything!

We can all tell when someone is lying so just be truthful and that will create a healthy base for your relationship.


Keep romance alive!
Keep romance alive!

Romance

Keep it alive! It's difficult when you have children and you spend the day running around picking up clothes, food and cleaning toilets. This does not make a woman feel sexy in any way. Most of the time it's all about the children and then we cook, clean and go to bed without having to have found out about our partners day.

Date nights are extremely important and you should go at least once a week in order to keep your relationship alive.

Book a nice romantic place, get dressed and put on your make- up, have your hair done or do it yourself. You can talk to each other about anything but children, bills or work.

You will find that you still have a lot in common and this will remind you of why you are still together.

Should there be a chance of the children going to friends for a night or two then lucky you!

Make the most of it and get yourself some sexy lingerie, light up candles and wait patiently for your partner to get home.

Discuss what the two of you enjoy and do just that.

Keep the romance alive in anyway possible to remind you both that you are not just parents but partners in love too.

Your best friend should be your partner
Your best friend should be your partner

Stay Friends

Remember that the two of you were friends when you met and you have a lot in common. Your partner is your best friend and this is the person that you should want to spend your time with.

Talk to each other as if you were speaking to your best friend and tell your buddy everything.

In relationships, we often forget that our partner is our best friend and the person that we can have fun, laughter and cry with is the person you fell for in the first place. Take the time to remember that you started as friends and when you feel like shouting or finding a household fault, talk to your partner like you would to a friend.

Take a night off away from the t.v. and just sit around talking about your lives and experiences, hobbies and ideas as if it was the first time you are getting to know each other.

You do not need boyfriends or girlfriends of the opposite sex if you and your partner are friends. Cut all ties with those people as this will just cause trouble in your relationship.

Keep mutual friends and friends with partners. Singles of the opposite sex are friends with you for a reason and they do not belong in your relationship.

Relationships are Work

Relationships are not easy and living with the same person day in and day out for the rest of your life is bound to cause a few arguments. Agree to disagree, kiss and make up, love, laugh, be friends and go on dates to keep your romantic lives alive!

Become friends again and start all over with a clean slate and work your way back to dating and then to exploring each other in ways that you haven't before and once that is done then you can work on the rest of your lives, one day at a time.

Honesty, trust and good communication will help you find your way. Remember that hugs are free, adoration is always welcome and take notice of your partners efforts.


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    • madmachio profile image

      Nathan K 4 years ago from Kansas

      I think this is a good article. Respect is a must!!!

    • Denise Handlon profile image

      Denise Handlon 4 years ago from North Carolina

      Excellent points made here. I like the quiz that you added to this hub. Interesting. :)

    • Tashaonthetown profile image
      Author

      Natasha Pelati 4 years ago from South Africa

      Thank you, relationships are not easy and its always helpful to get input! My next one will be advice for men and romance!

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