- Gender and Relationships»
How to be romantic
Giving a gift is always a good way to show someone you care about them. Do not get caught up in the size or cost. The relationship between feeling appreciated is not correlated between the size and the affect it has on the person receiving it. Remember things that make that person happy. Sometimes it is good to get gifts in advance. I always keep something I can give a friend. I will find something in a store and say the next time I see her/him I will give them this! If you have a hard time knowing or remembering what people in your life like or enjoy getting then make a list. Keep a black book just for such ideas. This will not only help you with your 'just cause' gift but those birthday, anniversary and Christmas.
Showing someone you care
In our world where we are all struggling to pay bills, make sure the kids are healthy and preparing for the unknown it feels good to show someone you care about them. Showing someone you care about them can be easy, affordable and not necessarily time consuming. By showing someone you care you can make an improvement in their day, week or maybe month. Showing someone you care about them can save a friendship, relationship or marriage. How many times do we hear people loose a boyfriend, girlfriend, friends and family because that person did not feel cared about or appreciated.
The first thing to do is decide you want to show people that you care about them. Showing someone you care is not always easy. I have been told by some that thinking of others is actually painful for them. So before anything can begin you must make a choice. If it is not easy for you to appreciate others this is going to take some doing. Make a commitment that you will stick with it until you learn how to care for others in your life. In the long run it will improve your life. Once you make that decision then let the fun begin.
When to give a gift
Some people wonder when is the right time to give a gift. ANY time is a good time to give a gift. Giving a gift does not have to be extravagant it just needs to let the person know you though of them. Remember, go to your list, pick something out of your bag of goodies and leave it on the table so that when your partner/spouse comes home they see the gift. People like little notes. Not the text kind but a real hand written note. If you find some fun stationary that even makes it better. I like finding fun stationary from the Muppets, Supperman, Wonder Woman. These will bring most of us back to our childhood. Bringing people back to a time when things were a little more simpler is fun for them. When your mom helps you pay rent do not just thank her on the phone, send her a card describing how good it felt to have her backing you up. When your husband does all the yard work and the small jobs around the house on weekend, leave his favorite sandwich, drink and dessert waiting for him when he gets home during the week. When your wife takes care of your family during their visit, go buy some bath salts, some nice snacks and candles. On a day when you know the exact time she will be home, make sure the house is quiet and fix her bath, light the candles and bring her some sweet & salty snacks while she sits and enjoys her quiet time. If your girlfriend likes to watch movies, rent a movie on Netflix, buy a DVD, make some popcorn and have a movie night. If your boyfriend enjoys sports make a plate of all of his favorite snacks and finger foods. Have a separate dish that is just for his sports day. All of these things are easy and inexpensive.
When you are struggling with gift ideas and how to be romantic the first thing to remember is to be calm and not over think things. Most people just enjoy spending time with their loved ones. That time is precious and when we try to make it too complicated sometimes it can turn out bad. Try to remember that sometimes what is romantic to you may not be romantic to the other person. We have to give to others in order to show them how much we care and love them.
When coming up with a romantic date fist figure out what type of person you are wanting the date to be for/with. Is the person introvert/extrovert? Are they in the mood for an outing, drive or just something at home? This can sometimes be connected to work, if they have been sick or stressed out lately. Sometimes the person who is always on the road just wants to be at home. This is the time to find a way to make an evening or weekend romantic. Remember keeping it simple is best. One can always add on as permitted but if the plan is so over the top and all they want to do is cuddle the night can be disappointing.
If staying home is the way to go then movie night is a hit. If they enjoy a group of movies you could watch movies by Tom Hanks, Harrison Ford, etc. Or it could be trilogy night. Watching the Lord or the Rings, the original Star Wars, etc. Sometimes just catching up with all the recorded episodes from Scandal is a fun night as well.Honestly as an introvert I actually enjoy reading with my girlfriend. So a good book might be just what is the night calls for. Taking the day off from work and coming home to prepare a favorite dinner, including dessert. If the person enjoys bath, have a nice bath night planned. Either alone or together or both. They make these great snack trays for bath tubs. You can purchase them at Bed Bath & Beyond. They hold just the right amount of snack so you do not end your bath due to hunger.
Food in bed is always fun. If you are a neat freak like me it can be a challenge because you are looking for crumbs but try to relax and enjoy. Getting a nice snack tray and filling it with fruit, veggies for dipping and candies is fun. While it is done in bed there is often feeding each other which then leads to more fun.
If you and your person are up for a hung then try sending them on a hunt to find their end treat. You can begin by placing notes in their briefcase, suitcase, or purse. If you can get to their office and leave notes in their desk that would be awesome. This is when I find giving the secretary or security guy a little treat helps in your planning. I have sent gifts to my girlfriends hotel when she travels. I call ahead and make sure when it is delivered that they put it in her room. This is always nice to receive when you are done with your plane ride. the gift can be a letter, a food gift basket or a gift they might enjoy. For instance if your spouse is going on a business trip and loves to drink coffee nothing will remind them of home like a nice mug to drink from while they are at the hotel. I was with a rabbi years ago. She was away doing services for Yom Kippur, which we fast during. I ordered a fruit basket to arrive at her hotel the night Yom Kippur ended so she could enjoy some nice fruit after fasting and doing services all day.
In the end giving a romantic gift has more to to with knowing the person and remembering what will make them feel loved and appreciated, even on the smallest level.
Quick gift ideas
When at a loss for what to get as a gift here are some of the gifts I have given which have been happily received.
- lunch boxes- for the person who always takes their lunch
- Pen/art pencils- to help that artist within
- roses-just cause
- a six pack of their favorite beer/drink
- journal book
- breakfast in bed
- a drive to a picnic made by you
- movie night
- small bracelet
- anything a person collects-looney tunes, super heroes,ties, bears, etc
- books-people still enjoy reading
- photo book- capture the happy moments and give them to be held onto
- bath salt
- ear rings
- hand written note
- clothes-sweater, tie,fun t-shirt