- Gender and Relationships
How Do I Tell My Wife I am Gay?
Men who struggle with their sexuality
There are many men who struggle with how to tell their wife that they are gay......
These men are torn between two worlds, one is with a woman that they may still love and the other is keeping a terrible secret from her. The sad part about this situation is that the woman is also hurting in the relationship. She may be blaming herself not knowing why her husband is not attracted to her, thinking that there is something wrong with her.
This article is not only for men struggling with being gay but also for the women wo love them.
Are you a gay man that is living in a straight marriage
Are you keeping it a secret from your wife that you are gay?
Am I gay?
Not all men realize that they are gay go into a marriage, they may understand that they feel different but not quite sure why.
Other men that know that they are gay and get married to a woman, have a family, may hope that they can push their feelings aside and lead a "normal" life, but over time most men become distant with their wives and family or end up cheating in the marriage. It is difficult to deny ones sexual preference that is not an easy thing to do; many times men will repress their sexual feelings so much so that they become numb and sexless, with a low libidos.
Some men become aggressive, drink, or do drugs blaming their wife for not pleasing them. Others turn to the "down low" having sex with men, then coming home and having sex with their wife.
How do I tell my wife that I am gay?
What are my options?
The first step is to be honest with yourself and seek help from a counselor or a support group. It is important to remember that coming out may end the marriage, but it may help keep a friendship or be amicable if children are involved. In some marriages couples do stay together and come up with their own arrangement. The lying, hiding and perhaps cheating will destroy all that are involved in the relationship.
The one fact remains, that by not being honest with your wife you are hurting her even more. She deserves to be told the truth so that she can decide what she wants to do.
Understading that there is also gender confusion as well for some men.
Many times when a husband is gay or even gender confused and does not tell his wife he can resort to drug abuse, alcohol abuse and domestic violence. The end result of all this is at some point it is best to end the marriage rather than make everyone suffer. Acceptance for homosexuals, transsexuals and gender confusion in recent years have improved slightly but not nearly enough, there is still so much prejudice around being gay and this makes it difficult for a person to be themselves and to come out.
The more that gay people do come out and tell their story, it will inspire others to do the same. Not all men understand that they may not be gay but perhaps gender confused. Gender confusion is more complicated because the man himself may feel like a woman inside and still be sexually attracted to his wife, wondering if he really is straight or gay. Then there are some men who have come to understand that they are really a woman inside and are attracted to men. Understanding oneself, and then talking to a spouse about it is still the right things to do.
The more that people hide who they really are, the more pain it will bring to them and others that may truly love them. Fear of the unknown is not worth the pain of knowing and not doing anything to make it better!
Honesty Can Set You Free
The one fact remains, being gay is not a disease, symptom or something that is going to just go away, it is a part of a person, who they are and they should not be ashamed of who they are!. Telling a spouse is the right and honest thing to do even though the outcome may not always be pleasant, in the end most husbands are much happier that they did.
Living a lie, is not living at all!
Do you think that a husband should tell his wife that he is gay?
Do you think that a husband should tell>